Tuesday, January 25, 2011

History Is Bunk, Void Without Knowledge Beckons

As if you didn't already know, the article below conclusively proves history is bunk. Historians will be laid off in droves. How much of what we think we know is completely made up? First the scientists make up this whole global warming thing, and now we see these trusted Abe Lincoln researchers are making stuff up too? Talk about shattering the pillars of my confidence! This is like a double barreled blast where one barrel hits my brain, and the other barrel...hits my brain as well. I'm just dead over this.

What's next? I'd like to take a look at the Constitution. What if the right to "bear arms" is really the right to "bare arms?" Or what if it was literally about the right to have "bear arms," like you can go out and cut the arms off of bears? Can we ever really know the answer to this question? And now that we don't even know what the Constitution really said in the first place, it's all just pointless.

And it's not just studying the Constitution that's pointless. Everything involving a document that's ever been touched by one of these freakin' "historians" is toast. Galilleo. Wow. If it wasn't all over before it's all over now. Goodbye research and thinking, hello accept the pointlessness and emptiness of everything in a spiraling void where knowledge is completely impossible. This may be alright if there are "Barbarella" type chicks flying around in the void with jet packs. Otherwise it's not going to be good.

The National Archives says a longtime Abraham Lincoln researcher has been caught telling a big lie about Honest Abe.

The Archives said Monday that historian Thomas P. Lowry, 78, of Woodbridge, has acknowledged that he used a fountain pen with special ink to change the date on a presidential pardon issued by Lincoln to a military deserter, making it appear that Lowry had uncovered a document of historical significance.

Specifically, Lowry changed the date of the pardon from April 14, 1864 to April 14, 1865. The Archive said the change made it look as if Lowry had discovered a document that was perhaps Lincoln's final official act before he was assassinated that evening at Ford's Theatre.

Lowry's purported discovery was hailed by historians when he came forward in 1998. At the time, a Civil War expert with the Archives said Lowry had made "a unique and substantial contribution to Lincoln research and to the study of the Civil War."

The National Archives gave the document prominent display, putting it on tour along with other important Lincoln documents.

But for several years, archivist Thomas Plante had been troubled by the document. The '5' appeared to be darker than the rest of the document and was perhaps covering another number. Plante then checked the document against an authoritative collection of Lincoln's writings, which showed the pardon of a Union Army deserter named Patrick Murphy had occurred in 1864. At that point, Plante took his concerns to the Archives' Office of Inspector General, where an investigator shared Plante's suspicions.

The Archives said it then contacted Lowry to try and determine what happened.

After initially refusing to speak with them, Lowry confessed to the Archives earlier this month to changing the date while he reviewed the documents in an Archives reading room in Washington to which historians and other members of the public enjoy access, officials said. He told the Archives he did it so it would appear that he had uncovered a historically significant document.

[Associated Press]

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