Dumb Luck For New Year's

People are ripping Bloomberg now, but here's a guy who's happy that New York City acted like it had never seen snow before. Two things. Number one, Bloomberg's main qualification for public office is that he's got a lot of money. So why can't he dip into his pocket to cough up some overtime cash to get these stiffs working? How about some new equipment? Earth to Mayor Mike - you're rich, but you didn't spend ALL your money getting elected seventeen times. Pick up a new plow or five on the way home, alright? For a guy like you that's like bringing home a carton of milk. While you're at it how about some salt you freakin' spazz.

Number two, would this count as a lucky break? If you're trying to kill yourself. Instead of being dead you're laying there in a pile of garbage? Some people would say, "wow, what a lucky guy." But I say, not so lucky. Now he has to go through all kinds of speculation and analysis from the people who captured him. "Why would he do such a thing?" I know when I jump off a building I do it on a "no questions asked" basis.

And there will definitely be someone saying under his breath, maybe to a pal, "look at this putz, he tried to kill himself and he couldn't even get THAT right!" You're probably thinking it right now you rotten bastard.

A suicidal man plummeted nine stories and survived in midtown Sunday when he landed on a trash heap that had piled up since last week's blizzard slammed the city, officials said.

Vangelis Kapatos, 26, jumped from his father's apartment in The Whitby building on W. 45th St. near Eighth Ave. a few minutes before noon.

Cop sources said he had tried to take his life a number of other ways immediately before leaping.

He was rushed to Bellevue Hospital Center, where he was in critical but stable condition early Sunday evening, police said.

"He landed on a garbage pile," one official said. "That's the only reason he's alive."Cops said Kapatos' injuries were not life-threatening.

The Sanitation Department suspended trash collection after the Dec. 26 snowstorm that paralyzed the city. It was expected to resume tomorrow.

[NY Daily News]