Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Swing, Swing, Swing!

The President of the United States was saying this to Tony Bennett while sending in the troops? Whoa! In a way I understand it. You can't always tell the truth, but if you were talking to Tony Bennett, he's like truth serum. He really is a better singer than Frank Sinatra. If you don't believe me listen to "Just In Time," LOUD. He's totally got more range and pure vocal chops than Old Blue Eyes. Tony Bennett sings pop music like it's opera. It sounds like he was recorded in an elevator shaft but the vinyl records they made in the 50s still sound better than the digital push button shit they make today.

In front of the entire national press corps, a regular Murderers Row of questioners, Bush can say, "we need to do this war in Iraq." To question the President was a risk to your reputation as a real American. But to Tony Bennett, like a teenage girl here is Bush blubbering "I think I made a boo boo." This expresses the absurdity of our "People" magazine society as well as any story I've ever heard. A free press guarantees our freedom? Poppycock. If you want to know what's really going on in this country send in Tony Bennett. He's the man who knows where the bodies are buried. Who really killed JFK. Ask him! What's next, the Pope confessing the Church blew it on the pedophile scandals to Mariah Carey? Donald Trump confessing that he feels like a schmuck combing his hair that way to Michael Bolton? These guys are not afraid of Satan himself, let alone the press, but with a CELEBRITY? They just have to give up the truth. Even the President bows down and bares his soul.

But it's a drag to hear him give his political views. You'd love him to say, "my political views are...(noticing waiter going by)...hey, Scotch and Soda alright? My man!" And just move onto something else. I wonder what Tony Bennett said to Bush. "Heyyyyy man, we all fuck up sometimes. Have a drink? Oh, you don't drink? I have to go on now. Leader of the free world keep looking up babe, got to skedaddle now. Keep on smiling!"

If Tony Bennett started talking to me I'd confess to wearing ladies underwear. And there's nothing wrong with it, you can't even see.
Tony Bennett is under fire for telling Howard Stern that President George W. Bush admitted to him that the Iraq War was a mistake. The 85-year-old singer visited Stern’s satellite radio show on Monday to promote his new album of duets, and he shared his encounter with the then-president from the 2005 Kennedy Center honors. “He told me personally that night, he says, ‘I think I made a mistake,’” Bennett said, referring to the Iraq War.

A spokesperson for Bush told NBC News that “This account is flatly wrong … President Bush never said that to Tony Bennett or anyone else.”

Bennett, who fought in Germany during World War II and considers himself a pacifist, also holds America’s foreign policy responsible for the attacks on 9/11. “But who are the terrorists? Are we the terrorists or are they the terrorists? Two wrongs don’t make a right,” Bennett said, when asked how the U.S. should fight terrorism. “They flew the plane in, but we caused it. Because we were bombing them and they told us to stop.”


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