Monday, September 5, 2011

Labor Day Rule #1 - Save Your Money

If you are young and talented you better put every ounce of that money in the bank. Everybody is going to try and screw you. Tiki Barber was a good running back, but no Jim Brown. For one thing he used to fumble a lot. Here's a picture of him fumbling, they are easy to find.

But I'm not here to dissect football. You can get that from almost anyone, and Tiki Barber thought he would fall back on that broadcasting ex-jock shit, and it wasn't so great. Now he thinks he can "fall back" on playing in the NFL.

Regardless of what anyone thinks of football, the idea that an old man can come back against raging monsters after a long layoff is absurd. At running back at least. I think Plaxico Burress has a chance, but he was in JAIL, not living the soft life banging his girlfriend when his wife was pregnant.

How does his agent know a word like "flabbergasted?" Maybe that's the problem right there. Sports people don't use words like that.

Guy should have enough money to live on. Cry me a river. Here's some more advice. Get a fucking vasectomy. Guys are a bunch of morons. I'm available as an advisor to sports figures, and my offer to have politicians send me their naked pictures in confidence for a small fee remains open.

So if you're young and rich, SAVE YOUR MONEY, YOU BIG DUMMY. That rhymes, like your stupid rap shit.

Another public service from Daily Downers.
When Tiki Barber told HBO that he was returning to football because he "needed the game," and because he "needed to prove to [himself] that he could be successful at something," I thought it sounded like a recipe for a personal mental health disaster.

Now that NFL rosters are set at 53, and Tiki Barber never got to sniff one, I hope that's not true. According to Peter King at Sports Illustrated, Tiki isn't taking it well.

I tried to reach Barber on Sunday, but he wasn't talking. I hear he's devastated that no team gave him a chance. You might wonder if teams would bring him in after the first game of the season, so his contract wouldn't be guaranteed, and that could still happen. But with no team calling Lepselter with even a hint of interest, it's more likely teams would start with backs who've been in some football competition this summer.

[Barber's agent Mark] Lepselter told me Sunday: "We are flabbergasted that Tiki has not had an opportunity with any team, especially when rosters were at 90 players this year. I certainly thought some team would be intrigued to see what he had left in the tank.''

Where this will leave Tiki Barber the person, I don't know. He's also recently proposed to his girlfriend, the one with whom he was involved while still married to his pregnant wife. So that's good news.

[yahoo! sports]

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