Prediction 2011 - The Dead Will Walk The Earth

Here are these useless economic predictions. Blah, blah, blah. Dow hits the skids. Blah, blah. Worldwide whatever. Blah. These predictions are free, so you know what they are worth. Nothing.

So here is a free prediction that is actually worth something. I'm getting tired of saying it so this is it - the last time I let you all in on this. Ignore this prediction at your peril! Look at this guy in the picture. He's getting a preview of what we'll all be seeing real soon. All of these so-called mega-problems are going to take a backseat when the dead start walking. And not "Dead Man Walking" like Sean Penn, I mean real dead people. Walking. And eating. Eating people like YOU!

Get your basements ready. If you don't have a basement, you better move and get one. That was the only safe place in "Night of the Living Dead" and even that did not work out so great, but with a basement you have a chance. Get a gun. Maybe a few. You can drive down South and get a good deal, but don't speed or you'll get busted. Cans of food and lots of bottled water. One of those crank radios and a hotplate. Some kind of space suit may help too. Also booze and a few books. You'll have time to read. Stop watching DVDs and save them in a drawer, you'll need something to look at for the next few years while this whole thing plays out.

Like every cloud, this too has a silver lining. The good thing is you can spend all your money right now and run up big debts. You won't be paying and nobody will be around to collect. So enjoy yourself as much as you can. I'm trying to buy a yacht on my credit card without a down payment. Not working out yet but I'm pushing for it.

Also you can stop going to the gym and worrying about your appearance. People won't be as picky once this gets going. You'll be able to hook up WAY above your station provided you have some guns and a basement. We're going to have a whole new slant on what's "attractive" and what isn't. When she says, "you're just my type" she'll mean you're BREATHING. That will be good enough.

A public service from Daily Downers. You're welcome.

What might happen in the upcoming year? We asked a few of National Review Online’s sages to prophesy the events of 2011.

JOHN DERBYSHIRE
Domestic affairs: 2011 will be the year that the full scale of our fiscal crisis becomes clear, even to politicians. They will likely be able to postpone the inevitable for another year or so, though. (The inevitable being real, massive reductions in federal and state spending, entitlements cut to the bone, major public-sector layoffs, etc.) Start practicing the term “QE3.” Of course, the longer the politicians postpone it, the worse the crash will be: but politicians always think the horse may sing.

Federal bailouts of states and cities whose finances have collapsed will become a major issue. Citizens of better-managed jurisdictions, and Tea Partiers everywhere, will object mightily, and the rest of us will watch in horror as the deficit doubles, but the bailouts will happen anyway for fear of a devastating crisis in the bond markets.

[National Review]