Icicles: Pretty and Deadly

The Captain received some terrifying news this morning about his shipmate Ensign Killjoy, who is enjoying some holiday shore leave and spending some time with his lovely family.

In a brave effort to protect his wife and kin from the frozen daggers hanging from his roof, Killjoy poked at them with his shovel in order to knock them safely to the ground. What Killjoy didn't realize is that it's a pretty bad idea to do this when standing in the area in which the icicles and other ice formations are likely to fall. So when a 50 pound frozen glacier came falling toward his head, Killjoy's death seemed certain. Fortunately, the Ensign possesses cat-like reflexes, so he was able to step back in the nick of time, suffering only a glancing blow to his noggin. Brain damage is expected to be limited.

It turns out that icicles are, in fact, very dangerous and should be removed with lasers and steam, or crowbars in a pinch; shovels are a no-no. The Russians, who suffer dozens of icicle deaths per year, know this all too well.

In recent days, a six-month old baby received serious injuries after a chunk of ice dropped on her pram, an eight-year old boy suffered serious spinal damage after an icicle struck his back, and at least two people hit by falling ice are now in hospital fighting for their lives.

Valentina Matviyenko, the city's governor, has fired eleven officials accused of doing too little to keep the city's streets and rooftops free of snow and ice.

"Icicles should be removed with lasers or steam," she said. "If St. Petersburg experts throw up their hands and say that icicles should be removed using crowbars, then we will use crowbars."

[...]

Russians risk their lives each year as winter becomes spring causing melting icicles and blocks of ice to fall from roofs, often from a great height, onto defenceless pedestrians below.

Regional figures show icicles kill dozens of Russians each year. Local authorities responsible for regularly clearing roofs of snow and ice are usually blamed.

[Telegraph]