Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year's Tragedies Off to Early Start

While the widespread post-party carnage is still several hours away, for one woman's husband the misery of 2011 has already begun.

A wife's New Year's resolution to start 2011 feeling fabulous went tragically wrong when she died after plastic surgery to move fat from her waist into her bottom.

Lidvian Zelaya decided she wanted to 'look good' for 2011 and was so determined to reach her goal she went to a Florida clinic on Monday to have fat liposuctioned from her waist and added to her buttocks.

Three hours later the 35-year-old was rushed to emergency facilities at a hospital nearby and by the time her husband arrived there she had died, he said.

[...]

Vargas said the procedure took place at Strax Rejuvenation, a plastic surgery centre in south Florida, but the clinic say federal privacy laws prevent them from confirming or commenting.

The surgery's website boasts that it combines 'cutting-edge services, procedures, products and the most skilled professionals' and has a page dedicated to ways they can enlarge your buttocks.

They specialise in the 'Brazilian Butt Lift' which involve fat injections or fat transfer to the butt or, in the case of very slim people with barely any fat, 'Butt Implants' which means inserting silicone implants into the derriere.

[Daily Mail]

If the Cancer Doesn't Kill You, The Ambulance Will

At least he didn't die alone.

MANILA, Philippines - A cancer patient and his wife were killed early morning yesterday after the ambulance they were riding crashed into a toll plaza booth of the Skyway portion in Taguig City.

Felix and Rosal Soler together with ambulance crew Rio Panganiban were declared dead at the Makati Medical Center.

[...]

Edwin Dalangin, distant relative of Rosal, told The STAR that the victims were supposed to rush Felix to the Philippine General Hospital (PGH) in Manila from their house in San Carlos, Rosario, Batangas.

[...]

Sketchy investigation report showed that the ambulance, instead of passing through the tollgate designated for ambulance and fire truck, passed and rammed into the Tollgate 6 of Skyway’s northbound portion about 6:10 a.m.

The toll booth teller Marlyn Buta who sustained bruises was rush to ParaƱaque Doctors Hospital and was released hours later.

[PhilStar.com]

It's Official: Today's Young Are Uncaring Narcissists

It's impossible not to notice the steep drop in student demonstrations and youth-driven environmental and social justice campaigns over the past couple of decades. Can you imagine the US fighting two nearly decade-long futile, unwinnable wars in the 70's with nary a peep of protest on college campuses? When things like nuclear power and toxic pollution topped the list of potential ecological catastrophes, hundreds of thousands of idealistic young people mobilized and took to the streets to defend their planet. Today, with climate change posing a terrifying threat to future generations, you can search until the cows come home and still never find any mass movement of young people demanding serious action to avert a disaster that could potentially be far worse than any seen in recorded human history.

"Fuck it," the Captain can hear them say, "it's like, not my problem, you know. If Bangladesh goes underwater, how does that affect me? I've got to, you know, like, update my Facebook page and shit. It's gonna be so fuckin' AWESOME when I post pictures of me and my bros doin' belly shots with these hot chicks in Cancun! Don't bring me down with your gloom and doom shit, man, let me enjoy my time in college. When I graduate, I'm gonna be, like, slavin' away for an fuckin' investment bank for like, a hundred hours a week, man. Spare me the guilt trips, I'm gonna make sure my family is taken care of."

Well, it turns out the increased level of narcissism and utter lack of empathy exhibited by our current crop of youngsters isn't just the Captain's perception. Good ol' Science has come along with clear evidence that this change is really happening on a massive scale.

... Empathy is a cornerstone of human behavior and has long been considered innate. A forthcoming study, however, challenges this assumption by demonstrating that empathy levels have been declining over the past 30 years.

The research, led by Sara H. Konrath of the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor and published online in August in Personality and Social Psychology Review, found that college students’ self-reported empathy has declined since 1980, with an especially steep drop in the past 10 years. To make matters worse, during this same period students’ self-reported narcissism has reached new heights, according to research by Jean M. Twenge, a psychologist at San Diego State University.

An individual’s empathy can be assessed in many ways, but one of the most popular is simply asking people what they think of themselves. The Interpersonal Reactivity Index, a well-known questionnaire, taps empathy by asking whether responders agree to statements such as “I often have tender, concerned feelings for people less fortunate than me” and “I try to look at everybody’s side of a disagreement before I make a decision.”

[...]

Since the creation of the Interpersonal Reactivity Index in 1979, tens of thousands of students have filled out this questionnaire while participating in studies examining everything from neural responses to others’ pain to levels of social conservatism. Konrath and her colleagues took advantage of this wealth of data by collating self-reported empathy scores of nearly 14,000 students.... The results were startling: almost 75 percent of students today rate themselves as less empathic than the average student 30 years ago.

[...]

Precisely what is sapping young people of their natural impulse to feel for others remains mysterious, however, because scientists cannot design a study to evaluate changes that occurred in the past.

[...]

There are theories, however. Konrath cites the increase in social isolation, which has coincided with the drop in empathy. In the past 30 years Americans have become more likely to live alone and less likely to join groups—ranging from PTAs to political parties to casual sports teams. Several studies hint that this type of isolation can take a toll on people’s attitudes toward others. Steve Duck of the University of Iowa has found that socially isolated, as compared with integrated, individuals evaluate others less generously after interacting with them, and Kenneth J. Rotenberg of Keele University in England has shown that lonely people are more likely to take advantage of others’ trust to cheat them in laboratory games.

The types of information we consume have also shifted in recent decades; specifically, Americans have abandoned reading in droves. The number of adults who read literature for pleasure sank below 50 percent for the first time ever in the past 10 years, with the decrease occurring most sharply among college-age adults.... [Studies have] shown that adults who read less fiction report themselves to be less empathic.

[Scientific American]

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Use a Massage Machine and Leave Your Worldly Troubles Behind

When this Florida woman used her beloved massage machine, little did she know it would relieve her of all her pain -- for good.

Her neck aching after a night of wrapping gifts on Christmas Eve, Dr. Michelle Ferrari-Gegerson used an electronic massager to relieve the pain.

What happened next is unclear, but Broward Sheriff's Office detectives and the Medical Examiner suspect the electronic massager became ensnared with a necklace Ferrari-Gegerson was wearing, and strangled her.

Ferrari-Gegerson, a Jackson Memorial Hospital radiologist, was discovered unconscious on the bedroom floor of her Parkland home about 9 p.m. Friday by her husband, Dr. Kenneth Gegerson, 43, a dentist.

Gegerson, who could not be reached for comment this week, dialed 911. When police and paramedics arrived, they found an electronic massager on the floor near Ferrari-Gegerson, according to BSO.

[...]

Ferrari-Gegerson's apparent accident is not the first incident where an electronic massager has reportedly strangled someone.

In December 2008, the Matoba Electric Manufacturing Company based in Saitama, Japan recalled an electronic foot massager after three reported cases in that country of women strangling themselves accidentally while using the machine as a neck massager.

In all the cases, the women removed a cloth cover from the Arubi Shape-Up roller, and the collar of their shirts ended up getting caught in the machine's rollers.

[Miami Herald]

Eschaton Kutcher

Good thing Ashton Kutcher has read Ensign Killjoy's prediction of the 2011 Zombie Apocalypse and is preparing himself accordingly. If the End of Days means the end of having to watch his stupid camera commercials, it can't come soon enough for the Captain.

Ashton Kutcher is in hard training for the apocalypse, but this no big screen role: he's afraid that armageddon is coming.

Speaking to Men's Fitness, Kutcher predicts that the "end of days" is on its way, and he wants to be prepared for the inevitable madness. He told the magazine:

"It won't take very much, I'm telling you. It will not take much for people to hit the panic button. The amount of convenience that people rely on based on electricity alone... [P]eople are going to go, 'That land's not yours, prove that it's yours,' and the only thing you have to prove it's yours is on an electric file. Then it's like, 'What's the value of currency, and whose food is whose?' People's alarm systems at their homes will no longer work. Neither will our heating, our garbage disposals, hot-water heaters that run on gas but depend on electricity - what happens when all our modern conveniences fail? I'm going to be ready to take myself and my family to a safe place where they don't have to worry."

Kutcher is stocking up on guns and spending hours and hours running the canyons near his home, pushed on by visions of being chased by wild boar. He's also taking daily bikram yoga sessions, and learning Krav Maga, a deadly Israeli combat technique taught to high-powered special ops.

"All of my physical fitness regimen is completely tailored around the end of day [sic]. I stay fit for no other reason than to save the people I care about."

[Huffington Post]

Froggin' Idiot

The saddest part of this story is that this would-be amphibian survived this incident, keeping his DNA in the human gene pool which is sure to produce offspring with the mental capacity of tadpoles.

In a game where a frog must hop from one side of a road to the other, you wouldn't think a "Do not try this at home" label would be necessary. But there's always someone to prove you wrong.

In South Carolina, a 23-year-old man played his own game of Frogger when he tried to dart across a four-lane highway. Police Chief Jimmy Dixon said that the man had been discussing the game with friends and had shouted "Go" as he ran out into oncoming traffic. Unfortunately, the gamer didn't make it past Level 1, as he was mowed down by an unsuspecting SUV. The driver of the SUV didn't realize that the car had been unwittingly cast in a re-enactment of a popular 80's arcade game. The driver involved in the incident is not expected to be charged.

[TIME NewsFeed]

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Prediction 2011 - The Dead Will Walk The Earth

Here are these useless economic predictions. Blah, blah, blah. Dow hits the skids. Blah, blah. Worldwide whatever. Blah. These predictions are free, so you know what they are worth. Nothing.

So here is a free prediction that is actually worth something. I'm getting tired of saying it so this is it - the last time I let you all in on this. Ignore this prediction at your peril! Look at this guy in the picture. He's getting a preview of what we'll all be seeing real soon. All of these so-called mega-problems are going to take a backseat when the dead start walking. And not "Dead Man Walking" like Sean Penn, I mean real dead people. Walking. And eating. Eating people like YOU!

Get your basements ready. If you don't have a basement, you better move and get one. That was the only safe place in "Night of the Living Dead" and even that did not work out so great, but with a basement you have a chance. Get a gun. Maybe a few. You can drive down South and get a good deal, but don't speed or you'll get busted. Cans of food and lots of bottled water. One of those crank radios and a hotplate. Some kind of space suit may help too. Also booze and a few books. You'll have time to read. Stop watching DVDs and save them in a drawer, you'll need something to look at for the next few years while this whole thing plays out.

Like every cloud, this too has a silver lining. The good thing is you can spend all your money right now and run up big debts. You won't be paying and nobody will be around to collect. So enjoy yourself as much as you can. I'm trying to buy a yacht on my credit card without a down payment. Not working out yet but I'm pushing for it.

Also you can stop going to the gym and worrying about your appearance. People won't be as picky once this gets going. You'll be able to hook up WAY above your station provided you have some guns and a basement. We're going to have a whole new slant on what's "attractive" and what isn't. When she says, "you're just my type" she'll mean you're BREATHING. That will be good enough.

A public service from Daily Downers. You're welcome.

What might happen in the upcoming year? We asked a few of National Review Online’s sages to prophesy the events of 2011.

JOHN DERBYSHIRE
Domestic affairs: 2011 will be the year that the full scale of our fiscal crisis becomes clear, even to politicians. They will likely be able to postpone the inevitable for another year or so, though. (The inevitable being real, massive reductions in federal and state spending, entitlements cut to the bone, major public-sector layoffs, etc.) Start practicing the term “QE3.” Of course, the longer the politicians postpone it, the worse the crash will be: but politicians always think the horse may sing.

Federal bailouts of states and cities whose finances have collapsed will become a major issue. Citizens of better-managed jurisdictions, and Tea Partiers everywhere, will object mightily, and the rest of us will watch in horror as the deficit doubles, but the bailouts will happen anyway for fear of a devastating crisis in the bond markets.

[National Review]

Icicles: Pretty and Deadly

The Captain received some terrifying news this morning about his shipmate Ensign Killjoy, who is enjoying some holiday shore leave and spending some time with his lovely family.

In a brave effort to protect his wife and kin from the frozen daggers hanging from his roof, Killjoy poked at them with his shovel in order to knock them safely to the ground. What Killjoy didn't realize is that it's a pretty bad idea to do this when standing in the area in which the icicles and other ice formations are likely to fall. So when a 50 pound frozen glacier came falling toward his head, Killjoy's death seemed certain. Fortunately, the Ensign possesses cat-like reflexes, so he was able to step back in the nick of time, suffering only a glancing blow to his noggin. Brain damage is expected to be limited.

It turns out that icicles are, in fact, very dangerous and should be removed with lasers and steam, or crowbars in a pinch; shovels are a no-no. The Russians, who suffer dozens of icicle deaths per year, know this all too well.

In recent days, a six-month old baby received serious injuries after a chunk of ice dropped on her pram, an eight-year old boy suffered serious spinal damage after an icicle struck his back, and at least two people hit by falling ice are now in hospital fighting for their lives.

Valentina Matviyenko, the city's governor, has fired eleven officials accused of doing too little to keep the city's streets and rooftops free of snow and ice.

"Icicles should be removed with lasers or steam," she said. "If St. Petersburg experts throw up their hands and say that icicles should be removed using crowbars, then we will use crowbars."

[...]

Russians risk their lives each year as winter becomes spring causing melting icicles and blocks of ice to fall from roofs, often from a great height, onto defenceless pedestrians below.

Regional figures show icicles kill dozens of Russians each year. Local authorities responsible for regularly clearing roofs of snow and ice are usually blamed.

[Telegraph]

Trashes to Ashes

This is what happens to people who are too lazy and/or cheap to haul their rubbish to the county dump.

A man burning trash in east Orange County, [Florida] lost control of the fire and was consumed by flames as he tried to battle the blaze, deputies said.

[...]

Fire Rescue spokesman John Mullhall said one team of firefighters attacked the blaze from Magnolia Creek Circle, while another was working on nearby Thanhall Way. Crews reported the fire was brought under control in less than an hour from when they arrived on scene.

Witnesses told investigators an elderly man, whose name was not released Tuesday evening, was trying to burn trash at the home on Hancock Lane when "the fire got away from him," a sheriff's spokesman said.

As he tried to put out the fire, "the male victim was overwhelmed by the flames and died," spokesman Jeff Williamson said.

[Orlando Sentinel]

Lazy NY/NJ Idiots Mauled by Snowblowers

The Blizzard of 2010 has crippled more than just the transportation infrastructure of the tri-state area. It's also responsible for grinding up into chopped meat the hands of dozens of people too lazy to pick up a shovel.

A dozen North Jersey residents were treated for hand injuries Monday — one serious enough to require surgery — from trying to unclog snowblowers during the cleanup from the blizzard that dumped more than 2 feet of snow in some areas.

At Hackensack University Medical Center, eight patients were treated for hand injuries, including a man who partially amputated two of his fingers, said Dr. Joseph Feldman, chairman of the department of emergency medicine.

[...]

"I say to people, 'Would you put your hand in a blender or under a lawn mower?' " Feldman said. "If the answer is no, why would you put your hand in a snowblower?"

It isn't just New Jersey numb-skulls who are hacking themselves to pieces with these machines. Empire State morons are in on the action as well.

A team of plastic surgeons said Tuesday they've seen more than a dozen people across the region who have seriously hurt their limbs since Sunday's blizzard while trying to unclog snowblowers.

[...]

"Even when the machine is off and the machine is unplugged . . . when you put your hand into the machine you can still have damage done to your hand," said Dr. Thomas Davenport, head of microsurgery at Winthrop-University Hospital in Mineola.

That's what happened to Mario Gianfrancesco on Monday morning, when he nearly lost the tips of two of his fingers.

A snowblower operated by his brother jammed, and the Mineola resident tried to clear the blockage by putting his gloved hand in the propeller.

The blower grabbed the glove and partially amputated the middle and ring fingers of the 34-year-old carpenter's left hand at the first knuckle of both fingers.

Gianfrancesco said he was in "pure shock" when he realized what had happened to his hand.

"It was a freak accident," he said holding his bandaged hand.

Um, no, it wasn't a "freak accident"; it was an act of utter stupidity, jack-ass.

[NorthJersey.com] [Newsday]

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Christmastime for Hitler

The Captain is as eager as anyone to put the celebration of the fake birthday of a 2,000 year old insane Jewish carpenter away for another year, but this Christmas card just crossed his radar and it simply cannot be ignored.

The year is 1938, and you’re looking for a suitably seasonal picture for the front of your Christmas cards. A festive image which will convey seasonal goodwill to all humanity.

What could better symbolise those eternal truths than an international peace treaty signed by the two major European powers which had once been at war? And so it came to pass that this Christmas card was produced and exchanged some seven decades ago.

[...]

The card was found amongst the papers of Percy Cohen, a prominent Jewish Conservative believed to be a former member of the Conservative Research Department. The signatory of the card, RJ Rosie, may well have been physician to King George VI and HM The Queen. It is not known if the card was an official one or personally commissioned.

Here is the inside of the card:















[Liberal Democrat Voice]

Airports Can Be Murder

While thousands of travelers are still stuck in the blizzard-stricken airports of the Northeast, this is what's happening in Dubai.

A woman gave birth in an airport toilet before strangling the newborn baby and dumping its tiny corpse in a rubbish bin.

The mother - believed to be Ethiopian and in her thirties - caught a flight before the infant's body was discovered by a cleaner at Dubai International Airport.

[...]

The woman allegedly severed the baby boy's umbilical cord with her bare hands and strangled him with a cloth before dumping him.

Traces of blood led to the bin where the baby was found, soaked in blood, tied up with his umbilical cord in a tightly wrapped plastic bag.

The boy was still gasping for breath but a rescue team and volunteers could not revive him. 
'At around 3.35am I went to the toilet to clean up the blood around a toilet bowl,' the cleaner told the Khaleej Times newspaper.

'After that I decided to empty the waste bin which was covered with paper rolls.

'When I lifted it I found it to be a little heavier, so I got curious and started removing the tissue papers.

'I was stunned to see a baby all blue on the face and gasping for breath.'

[...]

'Most likely the woman wanted to get rid of the baby as it was a child outside wedlock,' said the source. 'It seems that the woman had intended to leave the UAE before the delivery but was faced with a different reality in the airport.'

Having a sexual relationship or a child outside wedlock are criminal offences in the UAE that carry sentences of up to three years in prison.

[Daily Mail]

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas Songs to Bring You Down

As the Captain's gift to you, dear Daily Downers readers, here are a few downer ditties to help bum you out further on this wretched holiday. So pour yourself a strong cup of eggnog and crank these tunes up to drown out the sound of your children's unbelievably annoying electronic toys.

Tom Waits, "Christmas Card"




Soul Searchers, "Christmas In Vietnam"




John Prine, "Christmas in Prison"




Aimee Mann, "Clean Up for Christmas"




Merle Haggard, "If We Make it Through December"




Abertha Harris Lewis, "Mean Old Jews Who Crucify My Lord"






Roy Orbison, "Pretty Paper"




Future Wife, "I'm Spending Christmas Alone"

The Captain can't figure out how to embed this, but it's a good one and well worth clicking this link:"I'm Spending Christmas Alone"

Merry Christmas - Up Next, More Downers

Merry Christmas. I love you all.

In a lump-of-coal announcement on the eve of Christmas Eve, the IRS announced that, due to last-minute maneuvering on Capitol Hill, the agency won't be ready to process more than 50 million returns until mid- to late-February. Since most returns demand refunds from the IRS, the delay means millions of taxpayers will have to wait to get their money back.

When Congress okayed a big tax bill last week, attention focused on the extension of the Bush tax cuts, a payroll tax holiday and restoration of the federal estate tax. But at the IRS, there was plenty of angst about a group of retroactive tax changes that affect the 2010 returns. The agency is scrambling to make changes to forms and reprogram computers. But on Dec. 23, the agency admitted that it won't be ready on time to accept returns affected by the changes.

[Kiplinger.com]

Friday, December 24, 2010

Enough with Freakin' Christmas Already

This bitch takes the cake. She is linking...liberalism to Darwin. WTF? I always assumed Darwin was a scientist. He worked very hard this guy. Observed birds and those giant turtles. It's amazing how he's become a lynchpin in debate between so called liberals and conservatives. Conservatives prefer to believe that mankind just emerged fullblown from God's imagination. We did not slowly evolve up from apes. There was a little more holy magic involved. I don't have any problem with this. Believe what you will.

But this witch is extrapolating this argument to support the idea that we should not help the polar bears. Helping the bears is creating some kind of conflict with her free marketeering ideas. It's anti-business somehow. The ice is melting and these bears are just totally screwed. Why not help out if you can? Is compassion a political stance?

Don't get me wrong. I believe that they should lower taxes and give everyone in America a handgun. I'm no friend of liberals. But only a monster would turn their back on a starving polar bear. Unless it was about to attack you.

What if it turns out that we need the polar bears to translate some secret atom bomb code? Or if it they poop something that cures cancer? Then the joke would be on us, right? Damn.

And enough with Christmas already. Just gimme another pint and shut up alright! SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!!!

If you own a television, you've probably seen them: commercials pleading in somber tones to save the polar bear from extinction. A memorable public service announcement for the World Wildlife Fund features one-time "ER" actor (and now, it would seem, full-time polar bear advocate) Noah Wyle, assuring us that, "Climate change is threatening one of the most magnificent wild animals on the planet." However you feel about these creatures, the heart-tugging WWF ads are nonetheless pretty compelling.

Liberal animal rights and global warming activists have bonded together to save this formidable predator from what they tell us is certain death. They insist that, thanks to us, species are becoming extinct faster than ever (though I don't think we were measuring back in 500 BC).

Good rule of thumb: If you're quick to blame America for most bad things that happen in the world, you also may be quick to blame human kind for everything sad that happens on the planet. And frankly, that's just species-ist.

But unsurprisingly, President Obama isn't impervious to the maudlin message. He is currently considering reclassifying the poor polar bear's status from "threatened" to "endangered" under the federal Endangered Species Act. This year, he set aside 187,000 square miles in Alaska as a "critical habitat" for polar bears, which has prompted the state of Alaska to consider suing the administration for potentially costing it millions in lost economic activity and tax revenue.

But here's a question that's rarely asked: Why should we necessarily bother saving a species - any species - from extinction? And what's so gosh-darn special about the polar bear? Yes, animals are dying. But death - of a single animal or a whole species - is a part of life.

At least, that's what Darwinists tell us. In fact, if you think hard about it, animal conservation should actually be anathema to the Darwin-loving liberal agenda, which holds up evolution - and not altruistic compassion - as the final word on the survival of a species.

[Daily News]

Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Awesome Power of Daily Downers

Read it and weep! If you look right between the lines, anyone can see it was the relentless coverage right here, on Daily Downers, that brought these pompous nitwits into line. A musical version of Spider-Man. They are spending $65 million on this. I guess this is Broadway's way of bonding with the common man, giving him something to live for in his humdrum existence. What's next, a kabuki version of Superman? A mime troupe doing the Green Lantern? They'll need a new category here to give themselves more awards. Holy crap.

People will watch anything, but for a little while this holiday season they had a chance to watch these maroons break a few ribs. It's a shame it's over, but don't run afoul of us over here at Daily Downers or we'll scuttle your ship for good, you rotten bastards! And especially Bono. That holy rolling PC jackass is in this up to his eyeballs. He's worried about Africa while he's killing these actors on Broadway by dropping them out of faulty harnesses.

And if you read this last part it says they rehearsed more than the average show, and still had all of these accidents. Bring on the Iron Maiden. I don't think there's enough action in Act Two! Maybe we can kill all the actors, and then we'll get to the lawyers.

The Broadway musical “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark” canceled its two Wednesday performances to test a new safety plan for the show’s 38 aerial and stage maneuvers, which involve actors hoisted or tethered in harnesses, including the maneuver that failed at Monday night’s performance when a stunt actor fell more than 20 feet and broke his ribs.

By canceling the performances at a cost of roughly $400,000 in ticket sales, and by adopting safety measures recommended by state and federal officials, the producers of “Spider-Man” sought to project a sense of urgency and understanding that action was needed to make the show safer. While the producers said that Thursday night’s performance would go on, they also committed, according to state safety officials, not to hold performances until the new measures were in place. The state officials said the plan could be tested successfully by Thursday night.

The producers and creators held a private meeting with the entire company for more than two hours on Tuesday, two people who attended said. Some cast and crew members vented frustrations to the director, Julie Taymor, and the lead producer, Michael Cohl, about their decision-making — including whether the show had had enough time this fall to rehearse before performances began. The show had more than two months of technical rehearsals inside the Foxwoods Theater, far more than most musicals. Yet “Spider-Man,” with its two dozen aerial sequences and dozens of pieces of enormous moving scenery, is the most technically complex show ever on Broadway as well as the most expensive by far, at $65 million, more than twice the cost of the previous record-holder, “Shrek the Musical.”


[New York Times]

Reindeer Whacked Out on Psychedelic Drugs

Parents be warned: reindeer are drug fiends and they should be kept away from your children at all costs.

IT'S no wonder Rudolph and his reindeer pals can fly: scientists say they have found that the animals regularly eat magic mushrooms to get high.

Scientist Andrew Haynes says reindeer deliberately seek out the mind-bending fungi to escape the monotony of dreary, long winters, Britain's The Sun newspaper reports.

Writing in the respected Pharmaceutical Journal, Haynes said: "They have a desire to experience altered states of consciousness."

[...]

Haynes also said that in some parts of the world herdsmen drink reindeer urine to get high themselves.

[Herald Sun]

Computer Games Worse than Kim Jong-il

Sensible South Koreans are praying for the inevitable war with their communist neighbors to the north to come quickly. Their only hope is for Kim Jong-il's missiles to rain down on them and blow up the computers that are destroying their country from within.

In just the past few years there have been the following computer game caused deaths in the land of kimchi and delicious barbecue:

  • A 15 year-old boy killed himself after being scolded by his mother for spending too much time playing online games.
  • A man and his wife left their baby daughter to die of malnutrition while they spent all their time raising a "virtual child" on the Internet.
  • A 32 year-old man died from exhaustion from playing video games non-stop for 5 full days.
  • A boiler repair man died of a heart attack while in an internet cafe playing "StarCraft" for nearly 50 consecutive hours.

And the deaths keep on coming. Once again, we've got a mother killing her baby, but this time not from neglect, but by violence born of rage. A distinct advantage of "virtual pets" over real babies is that you don't have to clean up their urine off the real floor. This mother obviously resented her child's inability to live up to the same standards as her cyber-cat.
A South Korean mother, exhausted after playing online computer games, allegedly strangled her neglected three-year-old son when he urinated on the [apartment] floor.

The 27-year-old, known by her surname as Kim, is believed to have killed her eldest child after trying to relax following a morning tending to virtual pets and cards on the Internet.

[...]

She is thought to have left her baby's corpse in the house for THREE days before her in-laws discovered it and alerted the police.

[...]

‘She said she was so mad at him because she was about to take some rest after playing online games for four hours in the morning,’ a city police spokesman told AFP, describing the woman as addicted to game-playing.

[...]

The South Korean Government estimates that the number of web addicts is about two million in a nation of over 50 million. Some one million addicts are thought to be in their 20s or older.

They have recognised that addicts are no longer only teenagers whose problems can be spotted by parents, but are increasingly young adults whose gaming is unsupervised.

Young mothers are especially vulnerable, as they have to spend long periods of time at home with only their young and online friends for company.

UPDATE: Looks like the next Korean war may well be nigh, and the world has a Christmas tree to thank.

South Korea has lit a massive steel Christmas tree that overlooks the world's most heavily armed border and is within sight of North Korea, prompting threats of attack from the communist state.

[...]

North Korea, officially atheist and with only a handful of sanctioned churches in Pyongyang with services for foreigners, warned that lighting the tree would constitute a "dangerous, rash act" with the potential to trigger a war.

[Daily Mail] [The Telegraph]

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Today's Children: Illiterate, Ingrate Monsters

Did you buy books as a gift for a little one this holiday season? If so, the Captain hopes you kept the receipt.



[YouTube]

Stalin B. Goode

What's wrong with wishing Stalin a happy birthday? I don't know. Right now I'm singing the Beatles song "Birthday" to celebrate.

"Happy Birthday Stalin!
(drum break - I'm banging on my desk)
Yes we're going to a party party."

But the Russians have beaten me to it. Why have sour grapes about killing a couple of million people? You can't make an omelette as great as Russia without breaking a few eggs right? We'd like to believe you can be in charge and still be a namby pamby wuss. It doesn't work! Not in Russia. They don't have liberal media over there.

So let's give Stalin his props. The fact that he has fans in Russia tells you all you need to know. Guy in this article worked on the space program, so you know he's smart, and he would spit right in your face if you don't dig Big Joe.

Plus...history isn't written in stone you know. It's like when the say the Constitution is a "living document" as they're trying to get rid of some of these pain in the ass civil liberties. Let's move on. And while we're at it maybe we can work on some of those Ten Commandments too.

Supporters of former Communist dictator Josef Stalin laid flowers on his grave Tuesday to mark the 131st anniversary of his birth in a show of support at a time when his legacy is hotly debated in Russia. A crowd of about 500 mostly elderly citizens waved red hammer-and-sickle flags gas and cheered as speakers denounced Kremlin moves to balance Stalin's hero status with reminders of the oppression and violence that marked his rule.

"Again we reaffirmed that Stalin's era was the most productive, victorious and unique in the history of our state," Communist party leader Gennady Zyuganov said.

For the nostalgic supporters who filed onto Red Square on Tuesday, Stalin remains revered for his almost 30-year rule when he led Russia to the status of a great power and defeated Nazi Germany in World War II. He died in 1953.

"I spit in the faces of anyone who talks to me of de-Stalinisation," said Vladimir Markov, a doctor who worked with the Soviet space program.

"Stalin was our atom and our universe. Stalin was our path to the stars. My generation has him in their blood. You see wisened, courageous faces of these old people."

[Reuters]

Snuggling Up with Guns

The Captain reported back in October about a man shooting himself in his slumber. Now we have another similar incident, but this time the man was in his car with his wife and kids.

A 30-year old Michigan man shot himself Monday morning while napping in his car parked on the Ohio Turnpike.

Ohio State Highway Patrol troopers are investigating the 1:38 a.m. shooting, but troopers said it appears Mahmoud Ajaj of Dearborn, Mich., accidentally shot himself after falling asleep.

Ajaj grew tired while driving and decided to park on the side of a westbound lane near Fremont, said Sgt. Gregory Blake, with the state patrol's District 10 Investigation section.

In the car with Ajaj was his wife and two children, ages 3 years old and 7 months old. After parking on the side of the highway, Ajaj took out a gun that was in his car's glovebox, troopers said.

"He said it was for protection in case someone tried to rob them," Blake said.

Ajaj held the gun on his chest, the barrel pointing toward the driver's-side door. As he drifted off to sleep, he inadvertently squeezed the trigger.

"It appears like an accidental shooting," Blake said.

[Sandusky Register]

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

That's Entertainment

In November I wrote about this stupid new Spider-Man musical. Ironically my take on this was based on my total hate of "the Great White Way" but since people keep getting hurt in this play it may actually be worth seeing.

I believe this is at least the third instance of someone getting hurt while the show goes through its previews, and this guy got carried out on a stretcher. Maybe they are saving the really spectacular injuries and possibly death for the actual opening of the play, which is now being pushed back another month.

Mayor Bloomberg thinks it's all about getting the bugs out for a show that's going to be great! Think of how many people in NYC are hungry tonight and look what this idiot is talking about. Spider-Man. Great job Mayor Mike! Remember what the Bible says about heaven, the rich man, and that camel. What an ass.

Then the guy that is the President of the company that builds the crappy equipment they are using proceeds to blame the stage crew and the actor himself for the mishap. I agree, but he doesn't go far enough. It's the actor's fault for wanting to be an actor in the first place. Falling 30 feet is just a detail. Maybe this guy can talk them into adding a guillotine!

Finally, one of the actresses pours on the sap about a "light in her heart going out," and the best part is the guy fell and that was the end of it. They didn't even finish the show. Maybe they could go "avant garde" here and end the play with an injury every night? You could have a contest and let the audience guess exactly when the injury would occur. The winner could go on stage and get hurt along with the actors. Don't even think about stealing this idea!

Also wondering...what happened to "the show must go on?" Guy fell. So what? Use it baby. Personally I would love to see a show where ALL of the actors and a large part of the audience are hauled out of the theatre on stretchers after hurting themselves. Don't they say "break a leg?" I didn't know that was meant literally, but I'm all for it.

The producers of the troubled "Spider-Man" musical on Broadway said they have enacted new safety measures ordered by the government and will resume performances on Wednesday night.

A spokesman for "Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark," Rick Miramontez, said producers met with federal and state labor officials and the Actors' Equity Association on Tuesday to discuss additional safety measures after a performer doing an aerial stunt fell about 30 feet. He said the measures will be enacted immediately but did not immediately say what changes the show would make.

The production has been under investigation by the federal Occupational Safety and Health Administration for several weeks, according to the agency.

"It's certainly going to be continuing as a result of the latest incident," said John Chavez, an OSHA spokesman. Chavez would not comment further on the investigation, but said a typical probe would involve inspecting the workplace, interviewing employers, workers and examining equipment and record-keeping to determine whether federal safety standards are being violated.

"Hopefully, they'll get all the bugs out," Mayor Michael Bloomberg said Tuesday. "I'm told it's phenomenally complex, which is one of the reasons that it's going to be such a great show. We do have certain laws to make things safe, and we will certainly enforce the laws."

Scott Fisher, president of Fisher Technical Services Inc., in Las Vegas, which builds the equipment that does the automated and powered aerial stunts for the show, said the rope involved in the accident was clipped to the stage at one end and clipped to the performer's back at the other end.

"The stage crew would have been responsible for making the connection for hooking him up," said Fisher. "The actor is responsible for making the final check that he's good to go. It's sort of like packing your own parachute.

Actress Natalie Mendoza, who plays Spider-Man's evil love interest Arachne and herself was injured during the show's first preview last month, posted a Twitter message asking people to pray for the actor.

"Please pray with me for my friend Chris, my superhero who quietly inspires me everyday with his spirit. A light in my heart went dim tonight."

Miramontez said the fall happened about seven minutes before the end of the performance, and the show was stopped.


[Associated Press]

3 Funerals and a Wedding

For most husbands it takes years of being driven crazy by their wives before they feel the need to kill them. Apparently this bride was so tough to take that the groom couldn't wait past their wedding reception before doing her in, along with himself and his best man for good measure.

A groom in Brazil shot his new wife, his best man and then himself after declaring to horrified guests that he had a 'surprise' for them. ccording to witnesses, 29-year-old sales manager Rogerio Damascena did not give any clues that something was wrong at his wedding reception, said police investigator Joao Brito.

He said the killings were believed to be planned because of the groom's announcement and because he had hidden a gun in his father's pickup truck.

Renata Alexandre Costa Coelho, the 25-year-old bride and best man Marcelo Guimaraes both died in the murder-suicide.

[...]

"My sister was a wonderful person who loved and wanted to be loved," the Telegraph quoted Lucia Helena Coelho as saying.

"He was happy, she was happy, the party was beautiful. His family adored her and doesn't understand this.

[Sify News]

It's the Most Mortiferous Time of the Year

Be sure to savor your Christmas cookies and eggnog this year, as there's a very good chance they will be your last.

A new study has baffled researchers after revealing U.S. citizens are more likely to die on Christmas Day than any other time of the year.

[...]

In an article in the Social Science & Medicine journal, researchers said that mortality in general increased over the holidays, and deaths in hospitals rose dramatically on Christmas Day and New Year's Day.

[...]

Researcher David Phillips, a sociology professor at the University of California, told the National Post: 'It's not trivial. We looked at all cause categories and, for nearly every one, we found an excess of deaths - particularly for people who are dying rapidly, like dead-on-arrival or dying in an emergency department.'

[...]

He added: 'It's speculated that psychological stress can make a difference.

'But to make a difference so quickly and so precisely bang-on Christmas and [New Year's Day], for a huge range of diseases, makes it seem unlikely as a broad-scale explanation.'

Possible explanations behind the spike in deaths include overcrowding in emergency departments, winter travel, cold weather and substance abuse.

[Daily Mail]

Monday, December 20, 2010

America Needs To Reignite Cold War Now!

When I was a kid the Russians were our enemies. Things were better back then. Maybe we should get back to those good old days? Nothing wrong with that. The Russians have taken over the better part of America by now, why can't we start up with them now...in the interests of...economic necessity!

I think it's a fair trade. They have exported millions of...Russians...to the U.S....and in return...we get to use them as...enemies...to get everything back in line and start this country moving again. Russian hawks? Have they got planes? Do they serve drinks up there? I hear they pound down those vodkas like nobody's business. We never had anything to worry about, even in the fifties. Screw 'em. Here's a war we can win. Without Rambo.

Who's with me?!? Come on!! Commies. Who's afraid of a little action? YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Debate in the Senate over President Barack Obama's strategic nuclear arms treaty with Russia grew increasingly testy on Monday but the White House expressed confidence lawmakers would approve the accord before their Christmas break.

Republican senators pushed for passage of a series of amendments in an effort to kill the New START nuclear arms treaty by forcing a renegotiation with Russia. Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov warned in an interview with Interfax that any amendment would be a deal-breaker.

The treaty, which would cut deployed strategic atomic weapons to 1,550 for each side within seven years, is one of President Barack Obama's top priorities for the current legislative session. The White House said the president was calling senators to line up support.

The agreement, signed by Obama and Russian President Dmitry Medvedev in April, is a centerpiece of the U.S. leader's bid to "re-set" relations with Russia, whose assistance Washington has recently sought on issues ranging from Iran's nuclear program to Afghanistan.

Analysts say Senate rejection of the treaty would be a major blow to warming ties between the two countries, leading the Kremlin to question Obama's ability to deliver on major bilateral issues and giving ammunition to Russian hawks who oppose the thaw in relations with Washington.


[Reuters]

Wall St. Idiots Just as Stupid as Other Idiots

The Captain was under the apparently mistaken impression that Wall St. bankers, in addition to being immoral monsters who dine on poor babies' still beating hearts for breakfast, were supposed to have a handle on basic arithmetic. These people deal with numbers for a living, do they not? It turns out that mid-level banking grunts on The Street are every bit as innumerate as the typical mathematically-challenged American moron.

Bonus season is fast approaching on Wall Street, but this year the talk does not center just on multimillion-dollar paydays. It’s about a new club that no one wants to join: the Zeros.

Drawn from a broad swath of back-office employees and middle-level traders, bankers and brokers, the Zeros, as they have come to be called, are facing a once-unthinkable prospect: an annual bonus of ... nothing.

[...]

In some ways, a zero bonus should not come as a surprise to many bankers. As a result of the 2008 financial crisis, Wall Street firms like Goldman Sachs and banks like Citigroup raised base pay substantially in 2009 and 2010. They were seeking to placate regulators who had argued that bonuses based on performance encouraged excessive risk.

At Goldman, for instance, the base salary for managing directors rose to $500,000 from $300,000, while at Morgan Stanley and Credit Suisse it jumped to $400,000 from $200,000.

Even though employees will receive roughly the same amount of money, the psychological blow of not getting a bonus is substantial, especially in a Wall Street culture that has long equated success and prestige with bonus size.

One executive, whose firm prohibited discussing the topic with the news media, said the bump in base salaries had confused people, even though their overall compensation was the same. “People expect a big bonus,” this person said. “It is as if they don’t even see their base doubled last year.”

Ah, the "psychological blow" of getting no bonus after having your fat salary doubled is the kind of bringdown the Captain could use more of himself.

[NYT]

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished, IV

There seems to be a never ending stream of stories of people getting screwed for doing the "right thing." (Here are parts I, II, and III.) Will people never learn that lending a helping hand is always a bad idea?

Two men who rescued a deer trapped in Patapsco River ice were each fined $90 by a state Natural Resources Police officer because they did not have life vests aboard the inflatable boat they used to reach the animal.

[...]

A natural resources officer and a Baltimore County fire crew arrived and were discussing whether to attempt a rescue when two men on the scene decided they would do it themselves, [Maryland Natural Resources Police Sgt. Brian] Albert said.

[...]

"The fire department was kind of game-planning what they would do," Albert said. "With Natural Resources Police, we will attempt, but we are not going to risk a human life for a deer life, as cruel as that may sound. . . . I'm as sympathetic as the next person on that deer being in the water, but when you weigh the risk to the reward, I would probably decide not to try to rescue that deer."

Firefighters and the natural resources officer advised the men not to go out on the water, particularly without life vests, Albert said.

But the men went out in their boat and freed the deer.

[...]

[Khalil] Abusakran and [Jim] Hart got in the boat and went out into the water, which they said was about 10 feet deep. Hart said they had to work to break the ice using oars and shovels. The two men were finally able to break open a wide enough section of ice for the deer to struggle free.

Abusakran said he thought it looked like the deer was pregnant.

Hart said the Natural Resources Police officer issued him and Abusakran $90 citations for not having personal flotation devices on board.

[...]

Abusakran said he had two personal flotation devices in his boat and that he repeatedly told the Natural Resources officer that.

Albert said the men could have faced a stiffer charge: disobeying a lawful order.

"They could have been arrested and taken before a commissioner," Albert said. "Our officer erred on the side of the least invasive action that he could take at the time."

[Washington Post]

Honesty Among Thieves

Most of the time honesty won't buy you so much as a stick of chewing gum. If you're unsentimental and clear-headed enough to steal "Honesty," however, you can use the proceeds to buy yourself a nice pair of shoes.

Honesty walked right out the door of Normandale Community College on Tuesday night and hasn't been seen since. Muddy footprints and a trail of rolled-up dollar bills hint that a getaway car may have been parked in front of the Fine Arts building, but officials at the Bloomington school are baffled.

"Honesty" is, or was, a wire-mesh sculpture by John Ilg in which 316 rolled-up dollar bills were stuffed into the mesh to spell out the word "Honesty." It had hung in the college gallery since Nov. 9 with other works by Ilg. When it was first shown at the Minnesota State Fair in 2008, visitors liked the sculpture so much they added $150 to the piece. It has been exhibited unharmed several times since.

[...]

A student reported the theft to campus security about 8:30 p.m. Tuesday. Two security officers followed footprints to the parking lot where another student found two rolled bills in an entrance parking spot. The officers retrieved a total of seven bills from the gallery and environs. Security cameras had no record of the crime and there are no suspects.

[...]

Ilg may recreate the piece. "All you can do is laugh," he said.

[Minneapolis/St. Paul Star Tribune]

Sunday, December 19, 2010

My Date With Charles Manson

Years ago when I was single, people would say "who are you going to meet in a BAR?" Like it was a terrible idea to meet someone in a bar. These people are nuts. Bars are great. Nowadays these iPhone geeks want to do EVERYTHING in the virtual world, including meeting and talking to people. The idea of talking to someone in a bar is bad because...well, look at the class of people you meet there. Plus, they're drinking! Every self respecting person is busy staring at the phone in their hands. Who has time to drink? How would you HANDLE the drink, while texting?

So now you meet people ONLINE. Which is so much safer. You really get to know the person online and then you agree to meet them someplace. Doesn't that make more sense than sniffing someone out in the real world? When they are drunk? Oh no. Do it online. The Internet creates a whole happy bubble between you and the universe. The whackos haven't even HEARD of the Internet. They're afraid of it.

Ultimately this is progress because now a whole industry will spring from this arrangement. People who check out the people you meet online. It will be like "Romeo and Juliet," where you pre-screen Romeo to make sure he hasn't been arrested for killing anyone. This could be a great science fiction movie, where a prospective suitor has to put on a helmet, and if he has done anything wrong, or if he EVER will do ANYTHING wrong, the helmet will shoot arrows into his head and kill him. Like a damsel in distress story before the damsel is actually IN distress. Do you know what I mean?

I'm tearing up already, thinking of all these lucky kids who get to live this way. So much better than the way things were...

Never mind whether your date is smart or good-looking. How do you know you aren’t flirting with a felon?

For a small fee, a nascent crop of companies wants to help you find out by running background checks on the potential flames you encounter on Match.com, eHarmony or any of the nation’s nearly 1,500 dating Web sites.

At the same time, at least two states, New York and New Jersey, have begun regulating Internet dating sites, and legal experts say they believe changes to the liability laws that protect such sites are on the horizon.

No one has put a number on how much violence stems from dating sites, according to groups that keep track of rape and other violent crimes, like the Department of Justice’s Bureau of Justice Statistics and the National Center for Victims of Crime.

Yet plenty of crime stories begin with two people skimming each other’s online dating profiles. Consider the widely reported case of Jeffrey Marsalis, a serial rapist in Philadelphia who met his victims on Match.com.

“If I really knew that there was great ability for us to not let anyone on the site that shouldn’t be on the site, I would do it,” said Mandy Ginsberg, the general manager and executive vice president of Match.com. Background checks, she said, might lead daters to think everyone they encounter on the sites is safe. (Ms. Pheffer said she originally wanted background checks but decided against them for the same reason.)

[The New York Times]

Friday, December 17, 2010

This Girl is Smokin' Hot!

Having this embarrassing incident caught on film must've really burned her up.
P Diddy’s Last Train To Paris party was nearly derailed this week when a model’s hair caught fire ... in a bubble bath.

[...]

The unfortunate model was luxuriating in a bubble and rose petal bath, surrounded by lit candles, when her hair caught alight. The incident was broadcast live on Diddy's UStream channel. In the video snippet, the model is seen frantically trying to extinguish the flames, before ducking her head under the water.



[Independent Online]

10 Million Germans Want Another Hitler

The Captain wishes he were joking, but alas, this is no joke.

A new survey in Germany shows that 13 percent of its citizens would welcome a “FĆ¼hrer” – a German word for leader that is explicitly associated with Adolf Hitler – to run the country “with a firm hand.”

The findings signal that Europe’s largest nation, freed from cold-war strictures, is not immune from the extreme and often right-wing politics on the rise around the Continent.

The study, released Oct. 13 by the Friedrich Ebert Foundation, affiliated with the center-left Social Democratic Party, revealed among other things that more than a third of Germans feel the country is “overrun by foreigners,” some 60 percent would “restrict the practice of Islam,” and 17 percent think Jews have “too much influence.”

The study's overall snapshot of German society shows new forms of extremism and hate are no longer the province of far-right cohorts who shave their heads or wear leather jackets adorned with silver skulls – but register in the tweedy political center, on the right and the left. Indeed, the study found, extremism in Germany isn’t a fringe phenomenon but is found in the political center, "in all social groups and in all age groups, regardless of employment status, educational level or gender."

[Christian Science Monitor]

Nipple Nipped

If you're like most people, you don't get along with your mother-in-law. But you should keep in mind that if she hasn't ripped off one of your nipples, she isn't as bad as some.

LAS CRUCES - A 44-year-old woman who allegedly ripped her daughter-in-law's nipple off during a drunken argument could be facing criminal charges, the 3rd Judicial District Attorney's Office confirmed Wednesday.

[...]

The victim told officers she, her husband, his mother and one of her husband's friends had spent Saturday night drinking at an apartment in the 1000 block of Idaho Avenue, according to the police report. Sometime after 3 a.m., the victim's husband had started arguing with his mother, and because it was becoming "very intense," the victim went to stand in between the two to separate them.

When the victim began arguing with her 44-year-old mother-in-law, the older woman allegedly "grabbed (the victim's) right breast and began to squeeze and pull on her nipple." The victim yelled to stop, but her mother-in-law allegedly continued to pull until the younger woman began punching her in the face, according to the police report.

The victim then told police she threw her mother-in-law into the yard, but the older woman allegedly kicked in the back door and had to be physically removed again. It was when the victim was putting her mother-in-law's belongings in the yard that she felt fluid on her breast and realized there was blood on her shirt.

When she untucked her tank top, her nipple fell on the floor, she told police.

The victim put the nipple in a bag and, after several hours, decided she should go to the emergency room.

[Las Cruces Sun-News]

Jingle Smells

Great news, everyone -- skunks are now on board in the War on Christmas.

It was an act even Ebenezer Scrooge would have questioned. In fact, The Grinch himself may well have struggled to justify such terrible sabotage. But that didn't stop a skunk from Oklahoma City ruining Christmas for 800 children.

The small town of Purcell was rocked when the creature sprayed its infamous stench over almost £10,000 worth of [toys] which were destined for youngsters in low-income families.

Operation Christmas, who coordinate the goodwill gesture in the town of just 6,000, said very few of the hundreds of gifts were salvageable after the skunk's attack in the shed where they were stored.

'The ones laying out, they have been sprayed with Febreeze many, many times,' Peggy Christian said, adding that the group are seeking fresh donations in time for the festive holidays.

[Daily Mail]

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Christmas Trees Bring People Down

In case you need more evidence that the War on Christmas is moral and just, the Captain submits the following:

When people who did not celebrate Christmas or who did not identify as Christian filled out surveys about their moods while in the same room as a small Christmas tree, they reported less self-assurance and fewer positive feelings than if they hadn't been reminded of the holiday, according to a new study.

The university students didn't know the study was about Christmas, said study researcher Michael Schmitt, a social psychologist at Simon Fraser University in British Columbia, Canada. Nonetheless, he said, the presence of the tree caused non-celebrators and non-Christians to feel subtly excluded.

"Simply having this 12-inch Christmas tree in the room with them made them feel less included in the university as a whole, which to me is a pretty powerful effect from one 12-inch Christmas tree in one psychology lab," Schmitt told LiveScience.

[...]

In both versions of the study, the Christmas tree failed to spread holiday cheer equally. Non-celebrators reported fewer positive feelings and less self-assurance in the Christmas room. Christians and celebrators, on the other hand, were mostly cheered by the tree, with one exception: Celebrators reported feeling more guilt when they were in the Christmas room. That finding suggests that even for Christmas-lovers, the holiday can be stressful, Schmitt said.

[...]

"I don't think it's really going to undermine anyone's experience of Christmas to tone it down," he said. "We're not suggesting 'no Christmas' or 'no Christmas displays at all,' but in contexts where we really do value respecting and including diversity in terms of religion, the safest option is not to have these kinds of displays."

[Live Science]

Refrigerators + Cellphones = Death

Next time your friends throw a large household appliance at you from four stories up, think twice before deciding to answer your cellphone, even if it's your boss calling.

A man who was crushed by a refrigerator Tuesday was goofing around with co-workers who pushed the appliance from a fourth-floor porch, according to the Milwaukee medical examiner’s report.

The dead man was identified as Rafa Chmura, 33, of Franklin.

[...]

Chmura was at ground level. According to the report, other workers had first removed a hot water heater from a third floor apartment, also by tossing it over a railing, and the men decided to toss the refrigerator so it would crash onto the hot water heater.

The two men who tossed the refrigerator, according to the report, said they called down to Chmura, who jokingly responded, “Go ahead, I’ll catch it.”

At about the same time, the boss called Chmura’s cell phone. His cell phone was broken in the mishap.

“He might have answered the cell phone,” according to the report, “at which time the 170 pound refrigerator was coming over the edge.”

When the co-workers saw Chmura on the ground they at first thought he was joking, but, realizing he had been hurt, they called 911, according to the report.

Chmura suffered severe trauma to the back of his head.

Chmura is survived by a wife and two school-age children.

It's a shame the cellphone was broken in the "mishap."

[Daily Reporter]

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Ocean Vomits Feet To Express Disgust With Mankind

Where on earth are these feet coming from? Are they the remnants of shark attacks? I've been hearing more about sharks lately, like they are turning on people more, probably pissed off about the BP spill.

Or...is the ocean just mocking us? Manufacturing...feet...and sending them ashore to mess with our heads? Seven of them. Seven's an odd number, and everyone has two feet. What does THAT mean? What do you think? It could happen!

Could also be preview of...ocean-bred zombies. Maybe the ocean is starting with just feet to see how it goes...like a pilot program...and then it will move on to make full scale zombies.

Or...maybe Walmart is behind it. There's no end of possibilities here, and all of them are bad.

Authorities are seeking more information about a small human foot that washed ashore in Washington state.

Tacoma police spokesman Mark Fulghum (FULL-jum) said Tuesday the right foot was still inside a boy's size 6 "OzArk Trail" hiking boot, and likely belonged to a juvenile or small adult. He says the boots were sold in Walmart stores from 2004 to 2005.The foot found early last week is believed to have floated in from either the Puyallup River or Puget Sound. It's the second to wash ashore in Washington state in four months.

In late August, a right foot believed to be that of a woman or child washed up on a beach in Whidbey Island, about 70 miles north of Tacoma.

Fulghum says police don't yet know if the cases are linked, or if they have any connection to cases in British Columbia, where seven feet have washed ashore in the past four years.

[Associated Press]

Frosty Mowed Down by Bus

It's been a tough season for Christmas heroes. Recently, Rudolf was impaled in the head, rendering the reindeer lifeless. Now Frosty's been thrown under the bus.



[YouTube]

Chinese Diplomas as Worthless as American Ones

Good to know that the American dream is just as dead in China as it is in the good ol' US of A.

BEIJING — Liu Yang, a coal miner’s daughter, arrived in the capital this past summer with a freshly printed diploma from Datong University, $140 in her wallet and an air of invincibility.

[...]

Unable to find a bed and unimpressed by the rabbit warren of slapdash buildings, Ms. Liu scowled as the smell of trash wafted up around her. “Beijing isn’t like this in the movies,” she said.

[...]

The economy, despite its robust growth, does not generate enough good professional jobs to absorb the influx of highly educated young adults. And many of them bear the inflated expectations of their parents, who emptied their bank accounts to buy them the good life that a higher education is presumed to guarantee.

“College essentially provided them with nothing,” said Zhang Ming, a political scientist and vocal critic of China’s education system. “For many young graduates, it’s all about survival.”

[...]

Chinese sociologists have come up with a new term for educated young people who move in search of work like Ms. Liu: the ant tribe. It is a reference to their immense numbers — at least 100,000 in Beijing alone — and to the fact that they often settle into crowded neighborhoods, toiling for wages that would give even low-paid factory workers pause.

“Like ants, they gather in colonies, sometimes underground in basements, and work long and hard,” said Zhou Xiaozheng, a sociology professor at Renmin University in Beijing.

[...]

While some recent graduates find success, many are worn down by a gauntlet of challenges and disappointments. Living conditions can be Dickensian, and grueling six-day work weeks leave little time for anything else but sleeping, eating and doing the laundry.

[...]

A fellow Datong University graduate, Yuan Lei, threw the first wet blanket over the exuberance of Ms. Liu, Mr. Li and three friends not long after their July arrival in Beijing. Mr. Yuan had arrived several months earlier for an internship but was still jobless.

“If you’re not the son of an official or you don’t come from money, life is going to be bitter,” he told them over bowls of 90-cent noodles, their first meal in the capital.

[...]

In the end, Mr. Li and his friends settled for sales jobs with an instant noodle company. The starting salary, a low $180 a month, turned out to be partly contingent on meeting ambitious sales figures. Wearing purple golf shirts with the words “Lao Yun Pickled Vegetable Beef Noodles,” they worked 12-hour days, returning home after dark to a meal of instant noodles.

“This isn’t what I want to be doing, but at least I have a job,” said Mr. Li, sitting in his room one October evening. Decorated with origami birds left by a previous occupant, the room faced a neighbor’s less than two feet across an airshaft. The only personal touch was an instant noodle poster taped over the front door for privacy.

[NYT]