It Don't Mean a Thing

At least this guy had the good sense to use liquid detergent instead of powdered.

Vallejo authorities had to cut the world’s biggest — and oldest — baby out of a child’s swing at a local park this weekend.

An unidentified 21-year-old man allegedly made a $100 bet with his friends that he could fit in a child’s swing at Blue Rock Springs Park, police said.

After lubing himself with liquid laundry detergent, he shimmied into the swing and its two leg holes at about 9 p.m. Friday, said Mark Libby, spokesman for the Vallejo Fire Department

He promptly became stuck, and further swelling and circulation issues made it impossible for him to get out on his own, said Vallejo police Sgt. Jeff Bassett.

And then his friends left him.

It wasn’t until a groundskeeper heard him screaming for help at about 6 a.m. the next morning — nine hours later — that authorities came to free him.

But to add insult to injury, Vallejo firefighters decided the best tactic to go about freeing him was to cut the chains and then transport him to the nearest hospital still in the swing.

So the 21-year-old man who spent the night rocking in a child’s swing arrived at Kaiser Permanente Vallejo Medical Center, still wrapped in the diaper-like seat.

[SFGate]