So Sad About Us

Cynical people will make fun of this, but it's sad. Maybe since Kris Humphries does not believe in divorce it won't happen. Apparently he also doesn't believe in really thinking things through if you read the rest of this. He thought she would just give up her lifestyle to hang out with him and have kids. That's sweet. Also means he's dumb but he's an athlete and not a physicist.

So now they will get divorced and in addition to his overblown salary and her rapidly expanding fortune they will have to fall back on what they have and split up the $40 million this sham marriage generated in TV dough. Think about the equation between talent and accomplishment and the rewards these two have reaped. Is the relationship between talent + accomplishment and rewards an INVERSE relationship? Where less = more. Greater minds than mine will have to figure it out.

But still, divorce is always a downer. And you have to wonder who can really handle this broad? Look at the way she's looking at her own ass in this picture. Come on. Brains AND beauty. If that ass was on MY bee-hind I'd be looking at it too! Is there a man out there that's up for the job? She's still looking for the real thing.

Kris Humphries was surprised to learn that his wife, Kim Kardashian, had filed for divorce today, just 72 days after they exchanged the words "I do" in front of 440 guests.

"I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce," he said in a statement to People, after Kardashian's divorce paperwork was rumored earlier today and later confirmed by Kardashian herself.

Humphries had told several friends that he does not believe in divorce, reports say. Now, he confirmed that he does not seeing splitting as the best option. "I'm committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents," he said. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work."

Humphries had apparently hoped that Kardashian's ambitions of fame would ebb and that she would move to the Midwest with him to start a family. "How am I going to have my career and live in Minnesota?" Kardashian said as the two discussed this in a recently-released teaser preview for the second season of "Kourtney & Kim Take New York."

"Baby, by the time you have kids and they're in school, nobody will probably care about you," he responded. It was just another sign that the couple was far from on the same page.

[NY Post]

Pick Your Poison

Which would you prefer, zombies or Godzilla? I was watching the original "Godzilla" movie and it just made me think, I would MUCH rather face Godzilla than an army of zombies. No contest. Am I wrong? Let us know.

Look at this guy. Roland Emmerich. He's ready to make a mint off of this, and I suspect he doesn't have the slightest understanding of the gravity of what he is involved in.

Zombies are about THE WHOLE WORLD falling apart. Godzilla, I mean, how much ground would he cover? Not even an apocalypse really. Godzilla would be more of a local problem.

But some people might be more afraid of Godzilla. I don't know. This is kind of an "open ended" post where we need you guys to finish it off. Thanks.

With a filmography chockfull of cataclysmic event flicks (2012, The Day After Tomorrow, Godzilla, Independence Day), Roland Emmerich has never been known for subtlety. While the historical drama Anonymous, about whether it was actually William Shakespeare who wrote all of Shakespeare's plays, may seem like a gentle new direction for the German filmmaker, it treats authorship with a degree of explosiveness that would make Michael Bay blush. We spoke with Emmerich about why he thinks Shakespeare was a fraud, preferring epic movies to small stories, and his plans for the end of the world.

You've said you believe that Shakespeare was a fraud. What's the most compelling piece of evidence?
There are so many. One, for example: Never ever was one letter found by this man. And you have to ask yourself: A writer who wrote 36 plays would have written at least a note to his wife home in Stratford and said, "How are the kids, babe? What's going on?" Or let her know that his life is going well in Southwark: "I just sold a play to somebody." You know? Another [piece of] evidence for me is, okay, his father was illiterate. So were his two daughters. That's very strange for a writer. Who comes from illiterate parents, went to school, became a learned man — one of the most learned men ever, a true renaissance man — and he doesn't want his kids to read his work? It's quite ridiculous, actually.

You're known for epic films. What do you love about maximalism?
Well, I like big ideas. That's probably what combines Anonymous with my other films. You know, "What if Shakespeare was a fraud?" Or, "What would happen if finally, in one big storm, we get the bill for all the bad things we've done to the environment?" Or, "Godzilla comes to New York." All big ideas, in a way, and you can say them in one sentence. And because of that, they catch me, and I know that's worth a movie, because in a movie, you need something like that. At the end, you have to have a poster and a short 15- or 30-second TV spot, so that's that.

[nymag.com]

Fun Gone Wrong

This is why "family time" is overrated. I care about Monopoly as much as the next guy, but this seems a little excessive. Plus I can't imagine STABBING someone. That is way too personal. SHOOTING someone, yes. Stabbing, no.

This is why the Constitution gives us the right to bear arms. To defend yourself in a situation like this. Even if you ARE cheating at Monopoly, which is pretty low.

Laura Chavez, 60, of Santa Fe, N.M., is accused of repeatedly stabbing her boyfriend, Clyde “Butch” Smith, 48, when a family game of Monopoly went terribly awry.

Chavez began to argue with Smith while playing the board game with her 10-year-old grandson. The boy told police that Chavez accused Smith of cheating at Monopoly, and then sent the boy to bed around 11 p.m. mid-argument.

According to a probable cause statement released by police, the couple’s argument escalated until Chavez hit Smith over the head with a glass bottle, then grabbed a knife and began to cut him on his head, neck, face, arms and hand.

Chavez’s grandson slept through the physical altercation, waking up when police arrived in his bedroom, according to the statement.

[ABC News]

Whackuccino

Next time you're at Starbucks, you may want to think twice about any creamy, frothy toppings.

A guy who calls himself Mister PeePee set a goal of masturbating in every Starbucks in New York City, then photographing the results. Don't believe it? You can listen to this self-described "big fan of Starbucks" discuss his plans -- in detail -- on a podcast, and read his results on Twitter.

"I've got to rate the bathroom on cleanliness," Mister PeePee said on The Glory Hole podcast, "and [note] if a person knocked on the door and interrupted me." One of his associates wanted Mister PeePee to also rate "how hot the chicks were in the location -- customers and baristas" and "how frequently did someone try to open the door when you were trying to jerk off." "And lastly, how was the coffee?" added the podcast co-host. (Mister PeePee tweeted at least one of his store ratings: Today's Starbucks visit is rated as a 4 Boner. Spacious, clean, excellent coffee, strong wifi, no interruptions & 1 hot chick)

[Starbucks Gossip] (Mr. PeePee's Twitter-feed here)

The Sweetness In The Chocolate Comes From Pain

You give these Moldovans a chance and what do you get? Trouble. What's a little back pain against the opportunity to learn the American way, from the ground up? Literally.

I was at Hershey Park not long ago with a few of my kids and I know they have an orphanage or something up there too. It's a foundation type set up. So I'm surprised to hear this.

But then I got to the part where big companies hire temporary foreign workers to save money on taxes and social security. And then I wasn't surprised anymore.

A Moldovan student on a State Department foreign exchange program wrote the department a pleading e-mail complaining of the working conditions at a Hershey packing factory, The New York Times' Julia Preston reports.

"Pleas hellp," Tudor Ureche, a college student who was participating in the U.S. government's J-1 visa program, wrote in the email. He added that he was suffering from severe back pain from the work, and that his bosses said his temporary visa would be revoked if he complained.

Ureche never received a response. But two months later, at least 200 foreign exchange students walked out of the Pennsylvania factory in protest, saying they spent thousands of dollars to pay for their cultural exchange visa only to end up in grueling factory jobs. (The factory packed Hershey's candy, but was operated by a subcontractor.)

Cetusa, the group that the government paid to organize the students' stay in America, responded to the negative attention garnered by the protest by "arranging for students to have a paid week off from the plant and by paying for two trips to historic sites in Pennsylvania," Preston writes. "The Hershey Company hosted a daylong visit to its headquarters so students could learn about its business strategies."

Critics of J-1 visas are using the incident to argue that the exchange program, created during the height of the Cold War to spread American values abroad, is now being exploited by employers who want cheap labor. (Employers save on Social Security and other taxes when they employ temporary foreign workers).

[yahoo! news]

Herman Cain Isn't Blowing Smoke

But his chief of staff is.

This is an actual campaign ad. Do watch the entire 60 seconds, Cain's child-molester grin at the end is well worth it.



[Kevin Drum]

It Don't Mean a Thing

At least this guy had the good sense to use liquid detergent instead of powdered.

Vallejo authorities had to cut the world’s biggest — and oldest — baby out of a child’s swing at a local park this weekend.

An unidentified 21-year-old man allegedly made a $100 bet with his friends that he could fit in a child’s swing at Blue Rock Springs Park, police said.

After lubing himself with liquid laundry detergent, he shimmied into the swing and its two leg holes at about 9 p.m. Friday, said Mark Libby, spokesman for the Vallejo Fire Department

He promptly became stuck, and further swelling and circulation issues made it impossible for him to get out on his own, said Vallejo police Sgt. Jeff Bassett.

And then his friends left him.

It wasn’t until a groundskeeper heard him screaming for help at about 6 a.m. the next morning — nine hours later — that authorities came to free him.

But to add insult to injury, Vallejo firefighters decided the best tactic to go about freeing him was to cut the chains and then transport him to the nearest hospital still in the swing.

So the 21-year-old man who spent the night rocking in a child’s swing arrived at Kaiser Permanente Vallejo Medical Center, still wrapped in the diaper-like seat.

[SFGate]

Heroism Ain't Cheap

Next time you're considering going above and beyond the call of duty, be sure to check in with your employer's disability insurance agent first.

JOPLIN, Mo. (AP) — By all accounts, Mark Lindquist is a hero, an underpaid social worker who nearly gave his life trying to save three developmentally disabled adults from the Joplin tornado. Both houses of the Missouri legislature honored Lindquist, the Senate resolution calling him "a true hero and inspiration to others."

But heroism doesn't pay the bills. The tornado's 200 mph winds tossed Lindquist nearly a block, broke every rib, obliterated his shoulder, knocked out most of his teeth and put him in a coma for about two months.

Lindquist, 51, ran up medical expenses that exceed $2.5 million, and the bills keep coming. He requires 11 daily prescriptions and will need more surgery.

But he has no medical insurance. Lindquist couldn't afford it on a job paying barely above minimum wage. He assumed workers' compensation would cover his bills, but his claim was denied "based on the fact that there was no greater risk than the general public at the time you were involved in the Joplin tornado," according to a letter to Lindquist from Accident Fund Insurance Company of America, his company's workers' comp provider.

[...]

Lindquist watched the skies darken on the evening of May 22 while on his way to the group home occupied by Mark Farmer, Rick Fox and Tripp Miller, three middle-aged men with Down syndrome. Soon after he arrived, a tornado siren began to blare.

[...]

The EF-5 tornado was among the nation's worst ever. It destroyed more than 7,000 homes, including the group home, and killed 162 people.

Among the dead were Farmer, Fox and Miller, a fact that still haunts Lindquist.

"I loved them almost as much as I love my own kid," he said.

[...]

[Lindquist's sister Linda] Baldwin said the insurance company's decision is unfathomable because if her brother hadn't been at work, he wouldn't have been hurt. He also could have jumped in his van and driven away from the group home as the tornado approached.

Lindquist said that thought never crossed his mind.

"I could have abandoned them to save myself, but I would never do that," he said.

[AP]

Hot Shit!

At least this Irish alchemist wasn't doing something completely insane like chasing leprechauns around. And with a name like "Moran," this kind of behavior is to be expected.

A Northern Ireland man who tried to turn his own faeces into gold by putting it on an electric heater has been jailed for three months.

The bizarre experiment, carried out by Paul Moran, 30, caused around £3,000 worth of damage to his Housing Executive home in a block of flats at Derrin Park in Enniskillen in July.

[...]

Moran admitted arson and endangering the lives of others.

His Honour Judge McFarland told him: “Rather bizarrely you were attempting to make gold from human faeces and waste products.

“It was an interesting experiment to fulfil the alchemist’s dream, but wasn’t going to succeed.”

[...]

Moran’s barrister, Des Fahy, agreed that the general circumstances of the case were bizarre. He said Moran was a man of considerable intellectual ability but there was a clear problem over the years relating to drug abuse.

[Belfast Telegraph]

Who Says Chivalry is Dead?

Spare the rod, spoil the strumpet.

A Yelm-area man reportedly upset with his 16-year-old daughter because she went to Puyallup without parental approval Saturday night is accused of forcing her to suit up in armor and then beating her with a wooden sword for two hours until she could no longer stand, according to the Thurston County Sheriff’s Office.

The father, identified as Freemon Everett Seay, 38, is a Renaissance fair enthusiast. He also donned armor and gave her a wooden sword before the assault, Thurston County sheriff’s Lt. Greg Elwin said.

[...]

The events that led up to the alleged beating began Saturday night, after Freemon Seay went to Puyallup to pick up his daughter, Elwin said. Once they returned, Seay directed his other daughter to go outside and collect numerous willow branches, Elwin said. Seay, 5-foot-10 and 300 pounds, then used the switches to beat the 16-year-old on the back of her legs and back while she was on her stomach and he sat on top of her, he said.

According to Elwin, Seay then gave his daughter armor, a helmet and a wooden sword. Seay also suited up in armor and armed himself with a wooden sword, and they fought for nearly two hours, from 2 to 4 a.m. Sunday, until “she could no longer stand from exhaustion.”

The 16-year-old was not hospitalized, but she suffered extensive bruising on her face, torso and legs. After Seay realized the extent of his daughter’s injuries, he reportedly told her he was sorry and “he did not intend to go that far.”

[The Olympian]

Time To Get Real

Who is actually in charge of "Occupy Wall Street?" Nobody! This is the ultimate gift for corporate America. You've spent the last few decades outsourcing jobs and creating "synergies" and "efficiencies" (read LAYOFFS) and now, what a surprise! There is a MOB of people (ingrates) out there with nothing better to do than hang out all day and talk to your esteemed local citizens' representatives and nod their heads and go "yeah, yeah, yeah" and they are still hanging out in that park doing...whatever it is they are doing. This leaderless mob is corporate America's gift to us all. I think they need to appoint a leader RIGHT NOW so we have some central figure to attack and ridicule so we can get this over with already.

Plus over the past few years, especially after 9/11, people figured out that they could LIVE down there in the Wall St. area, and developers crowded in there to renovate space and turn all those old buildings into expensive condos. And now these Manhattan millionaires are righteously annoyed by all this rabble.

Enough already. Who really needs to be protected here? Free speech or local millionaire condo owners? Come on. The name says it all. "Occupy Wall Street." Well, Earth to protestors...Wall Street is part of America and you can't have it. Soon it will be time to stop all this pathetic civility and crack some unemployed heads. The rest of the media will be SHOCKED, but here at Daily Downers, we've seen it all before. Read this below. It's a "leaderless movement." Time to mop them up. Bunch of hippies really. Nothing to worry about.

Negotiations between Occupy Wall Street and Downtown residents are going nowhere — and the community is getting fed up.

After hosting a meeting between protesters and residents Friday afternoon, City Councilwoman Margaret Chin said she is losing faith that the protesters will be able to address residents' concerns about noise, garbage and safety in Zuccotti Park, where Occupy Wall Street has been camped out for the past month.

"Despite seven meetings with the community board, a 'Good Neighbor Policy' and a meeting with [Occupy Wall Street] to discuss the enforcement of that policy, nothing has changed in Zuccotti Park," Chin said in a statement to DNAinfo Monday.

"The residents in the area are overwhelmed, and rightfully so," Chin continued. "At this point, I have to conclude that OWS is unable, or unwilling, to address the concerns expressed by the community. We have tried to work with the protesters and to support them, but that support is waning."

Part of the problem is that Occupy Wall Street prides itself on being a leaderless movement, with a horizontal governance structure in which committees tackle issues independently and then report back to the consensus-based General Assembly.

That structure makes it difficult for any one representative to negotiate an agreement on behalf of the whole, and there are often conflicts between what one representative of the group says at one meeting and what another says the following day.

Ro Sheffe, chairman of Community Board 1's Financial District Committee, who has met with the protesters many times, said he is starting to believe that negotiating with them is futile.

"At every one of these meetings, we sit down with people who seem reasonable and very responsive to our concerns," said Sheffe, who lives on Liberty Street, one block from the Zuccotti Park protest.

"They agree to work with us to address the issues, and then they go away," Sheffe continued. "And nothing at all changes. It just appears that there's nothing they can all agree to that can be enforced."

[DNAinfo via Yahoo! News]

The Dark Side of Penguins

As Ayn Rand so wisely observed, there are two kinds of people in the world: producers and parasites. It's no different with penguins.



[The Awl]

Prepare For The Walking Dead At Your Local Hardware Store

I did not know we had a large following for Daily Downers in the Midwest but apparently this hardware chain has the ability to scan the web for the very best ideas. Of course zombies sell! Like hotcakes. Because we worship these incubation-type zombie presentations as a slow "wake up" call (where you hit the snooze button 400 times) for the REAL zombie attack, that every government expert knows is well on the way.

The animal kingdon is already filled with zombies, especially the insect world. It's like Darwin's theory of evoultion, that poster of the ape leading up to man. Darwin left out the last drawing, the zombie. He probably could not imagine a world where you could go and evolve past DEAD, but there you have it. At least this is a way of helping people get ready in a practical way. But this stuff would require you to get right up to the zombies, and with a whole crowd of them, that might be dangerous. It's all a game...UNTIL IT ISN'T!

Hardware store manager Mike Dowling wants to be clear: His shovels might slow an attacking zombie, but you'll to need something else to put the final nail in the creature's coffin.

"I wouldn't say it's for killing zombies," the veteran Omaha store manager said. "But it's helpful for cleaning up if you ever have to."

In a pop-culture world of zombie marches, video games and television shows, one regional hardware chain has taken the novel approach of actively marketing power tools and garden implements as protection against the undead.

And not to leave out the walking dead, Westlake Ace Hardware's online "Zombie Preparedness Center" has a "Me zombie" section touting bolts and fasteners for broken bones, glue and caulk for peeling skin, and deodorizers to freshen up decaying flesh. Lose a limb? Try duct tape!

Marketing experts say such out-of-the-box campaigns can give smaller companies a competitive foothold.

"It's a great way to create brand awareness," said University of Nebraska Lincoln marketing professor Rob Simon. "But there is a risk. Say you have a jewelry store that was going to do something like that. In that case, it would really diminish what you're selling."

Westlake executives say they initially were reluctant to associate products with horror film imagery, and the campaign shies away from serious blood-and-gore. One blurb in the pre-Halloween campaign advertises chain saws "for clearing away hedges blocking your view of oncoming zombies." Nail guns are for "zombie intimidation."

"I was a little worried that we might be a little too out there, that people might take offense," said Liz Benditt, Westlake's director of customer relationship development. "But if anything, (the effect) has been the opposite."

The campaign launched last week originated with Bozell, an Omaha public relations and advertising firm. Scott Bishop, the company's director of social influence, said members of the firm's creative staff wandered the hardware store aisles and jotted notes on how items could help or halt the undead.

"We found that zombies have a very, very huge following," Bishop said. "It's very much a part of our pop culture right now."

Benditt said the risk has paid off well so far for Lenexa, Kan.-based chain, which has 88 stores scattered through Iowa, Missouri, Kansas, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Texas and New Mexico. She said web traffic has increased, and store managers said they've seen more potential customers coming into stores. It's not yet clear if that's led to increased sales.

[Associated Press]

Return Of The Silent Majority

An interesting phenomenon. If you watch TV, you would think there was this vast majority of Americans who don't want any new taxes, and God forbid we tax the rich. That's class warfare. But the reality is, if you actually talk to the American people, they DO believe it's okay for rich people to pay more.

Maybe it's the MEDIA that doesn't like the idea of rich people paying more? In any case it would appear there is nothing to stop us from raising taxes on the rich on a "grassroots" political level. At least raising them back to the pre-Bush tax cut levels?

But somehow the minority view is prevailing, and maybe I'm crazy, but the minority view actually gets more play than the majority view. And the rich are not getting their taxes raised. Is it an ineffective "silent majority" that's not being heard, like Nixon once said, or is it just a very effective and noisy minority that's calling the shots here? I can't figure out what's going on, and apparently neither can these Republican presidential candidates, who are aiming their message squarely at the minority of people who believe the wealthy shouldn't pay more. Sign me, BAFFLED.

And by the way, if Nixon was running today, he would easily be the most interesting and compelling candidate going. Only Trump and Palin could have gotten this campaign on track for this blogger.

More than two-thirds of Americans, including a majority of Republicans, say wealthier people should pay more in taxes to bring down the budget deficit, and even larger numbers think Medicare and Social Security benefits should be left alone.

That sentiment on taxes is at odds with the Republican presidential candidates, who will meet tonight in a Bloomberg- Washington Post-sponsored debate focused on economic issues.

More than 8 out of 10 Americans say the middle class will have to make financial sacrifices to cut the federal deficit even as the public just as strongly opposes higher taxes on middle-income families, according to a Bloomberg-Washington Post national poll conducted Oct. 6-9.

“While Americans see sacrifice as inevitable for the middle-class, the only sacrifice to win majority support is a tax on those too wealthy to be considered middle-class,” says J. Ann Selzer, president of Des Moines, Iowa-based Selzer & Co., which consults with Bloomberg News on polls.

[Bloomberg]

Daily Downers Exclusive - America Hates Children

This confirms something I've believed for a long time. In America, it's "all about the kids." All these "family values" types running around. But these are just WORDS. If you look closer you will see the ugly truth. America Hates Children.

If you look at what money is spent on in America, you will see that our priorities are emphatically NOT taking care of children. This article points out the fantastic details of our "school nutrition" programs, which are going great guns here while the media continues to pump out shocked updates on "childhood obesity."

When things go bad, the FIRST thing to get hacked is education. Amazing that raising taxes on the rich causes an uproar with people who barely have a pot to piss in, but there is no big media blitz on cuts to education, it's just the ordinary course of business here.

If you look at a list of what our government spends money on, I would bet they spend as much on crap like "ethanol subsidies" as they do on kids. Plus they will bring powerful investigative resources to bear to root out "welfare fraud" and cause collateral damage to poor children while dishing out billions to bankers who made bad bets. Based on what I see below, instead of feeding kids this crappy food maybe we should try getting them to live on ethanol, if that is scientifically possible. This is a program that may CREATE JOBS. You're welcome.

Remember the documentary "Supersize Me" in which a man eats McDonald's for a whole month (and gains 24 pounds)? Well a Chicago mother and teacher brought that idea to the lunch line. After being outraged by the food served in her school cafeteria, Sara Wu started a blog called Fed Up With Lunch, which she wrote under the pseudonym of Mrs. Q. For a whole year, she ate her school cafeteria lunch and documented her experience with photos of her meals.

She was appalled at what she found. She ate 162 lunches that included sausage pizza, tater tots, cheeseburgers, "bageldogs," and a prepackaged peanut butter and jelly sandwich that literally made her sick. Wu finally revealed her identity to her thousands of followers with the release of her book "Fed Up With Lunch," which hits stores this week. The book launch coincides with National School Lunch Week and National Take Your Parents to Lunch Day, when parents are encouraged to visit their children's cafeteria, snap a photo of their lunch, and upload it online. You can check out our Facebook page to look at lunch photos and upload your own!

[yahoo! news]

Go-Carts Kill

Pumpkins, high-speed miniature vehicles and ridiculous fezzes -- something like this was bound to happen.

(NECN: Amy Sinclair, Damariscotta, ME) - Police in Maine are investigating the death of a Shriner.

He was killed during a go-cart demonstration at an annual pumpkin-fest parade.

Hundreds of families, including young children, saw it happen.

[...]

[D]uring the pumpkin fest parade in Damariscotta, something went terribly wrong as one of the go-carts came down the ramp.

"He went end over end upside down and landed under his cart,” said witness Will Monsell, “and the two following carts didn't see and they plowed into him."

Hundreds of spectators, including Monsell, saw the horrific accident that killed 59-year-old Marvin tar box of Hancock.

“It was a very unpleasant thing to see,” said Monsell of the fatal accident.

[NECN]

Vitamins Kill

If you're like most people, you're far too lazy to provide your children with nutritious meals. Why bother? If you can stuff their faces with fast food at night and give them a handful of sugary chalk tablets each morning that give them 10,000% of their recommended daily allowance of essential vitamins and minerals, that's all any child could ask.

Besides, nobody lives forever and you're wise enough to know your children are no exception. So take this warning with a grain of magnesium and carry on. Your children may thank you one day for putting them out of their misery sooner rather than later.

A study involving nearly 39,000 women has found multivitamins, vitamin B, folic acid, iron, magnesium and copper all increased the statistical risk of premature death.

[...]

Scientists from Finland, Norway, the U.S. and South Korea looked at the long-term health effects of common vitamin pills and minerals on 38,772 women aged 55 to 69.

[...]

The results, published in the Archives of Internal Medicine, found copper increased the risk of dying prematurely by 18 per cent. Folic acid – which pregnant women are told to take to protect their child against spina bifida – increased risk of death by almost 6 per cent, while iron raised the risk by nearly 4 per cent.

Multivitamins raised the risk by 2.4 per cent, vitamin B6 by 4 per cent, magnesium by 3.6 per cent and zinc by 3 per cent.

[...]

The results back up a major Danish study carried out at the University of Copenhagen in 2008 which found some vitamin supplements increase the risk of dying early by 16 per cent.

[Daily Mail]

Lite Drinks For Lite Men

I don't know if "dudes" don't drink diet, but MEN don't drink diet. Men like me who sail the seven salted seas. Wow everywhere I go is with the Coors Lite and the Bud Lite. Pathetic. Like getting loaded on Poland Spring.

How many times do I see people order two slices, smothered in cheese and sausage or pepperoni, and then they say "and a diet Coke." Come on! All that fatback and you're worried about a soda? And instead of a nice healthy natural sugar filled soda it's loaded up with some artificial sweetening chemical that kills mice in cancer tests? Damn.

It's all going downhill, but they try to make you think it's progress. So annoying. A whole generation going into the tank without really living life. They are living "lite" life and it's an ongoing public embarrassment. In Prohibition they didn't have light beer or diet soda. They had gin that would make you go blind. The experience and the risk was REAL back then, not an attempt at buffering yourself with with psuedo-good health bullshit while you are wallowing in America's daily helping of fat, sugar and booze.

Today's advice - if you're fat forget diet soda, you need to stop drinking for awhile or switch to whiskey or vodka, straight up, and give up soda entirely. You can bloat a little this way but it's better than beer. If yellow skin persists see your doctor. You're welcome.

Dudes don't drink diet.

Or at least that's the idea behind Dr Pepper Ten, a 10-calorie soft drink Dr Pepper Snapple Group is rolling out on Monday with a macho ad campaign that proclaims "It's not for women." The soft drink was developed after the company's research found that men shy away from diet drinks that aren't perceived as "manly" enough.

To appeal to men, Dr Pepper made its Ten drink 180 degrees different than Diet Dr Pepper. It has calories and sugar unlike its diet counterpart. Instead of the dainty tan bubbles on the diet can, Ten will be wrapped in gunmetal grey packaging with silver bullets. And while Diet Dr Pepper's marketing is women-friendly, the ad campaign for Ten goes out of its way to eschew women.

For instance, there's a Dr Pepper Ten Facebook page for men only. And TV commercials are heavy on the machismo, including one spot that shows muscular men in the jungle battling snakes and bad guys and appear to shoot lasers at each other.

"Hey ladies. Enjoying the film? Of course not. Because this is our movie and this is our soda," a man says as he attempts to pour the soda into a glass during a bumpy ATV ride. "You can keep the romantic comedies and lady drinks. We're good."

Dr Pepper Ten is not the first diet soda aimed at men. (Think: Coke Zero and Pepsi Max.) But Dr Pepper Ten's ad campaign is the first to be so overt about courting men who want to drink a soda with fewer calories. The ads come at a time when overall sales in the $74 billon soft drink industry are slowing as more Americans buy healthier options like juice and bottled water. Volume has fallen from slightly over 10 billion cases in 2005 to 9.4 billion cases in 2010, according to Beverage Digest data.

[Associated Press]

I've Always Hated Diving And Divers

I can't tell you how many times I've thought of doing this. I'm on a boat with some pain in the ass for a few weeks, going to Malaysia or something. Just TRAPPED with some idiot. "Hey why don't you try scuba diving? Some nice coral reefs here." And then when they dive in, take off.

I would say it's kind of unfair to do this to TOURISTS though. But there's a lesson here. You want a VACATION. To me vacation spells h-o-t-e-l room. Sleep late. Lay in the sun and drink. A little gambling, maybe say hello to a nice lady who will come to your room for awhile after her husband falls asleep? When I hear about people scuba diving or getting killed hang gliding or out on one of those stupid jetskis I just think, "learn to RELAX babe."

The ocean is a perilous place. Leave it to the professionals. And while this looks bad, contrary to what these guys thought, they did not DIE. They sound a little whiny, so maybe that's why they were left out there. Or the boat guys could have just forgot. You can't remember every little tourist and detail. You can get baked out there, especially after a few beers. Some days I can't even remember my name.

The US Coast Guard said Tuesday it was investigating a Florida tourism company that left behind two tourists while they were scuba diving.

The tourists -- Paul Kline and Fernando Garcia Puerta -- were rescued by a private yacht which found them clinging to a buoy in shark-infested waters.

"The incident is under investigation," Coast Guard spokeswoman Sabrina Elgammal told AFP.

"We got a call that the two people were picked up in the sea and there was no medical harm and they went back to port," she said.

RJ Diving Ventures of Miami Beach took a group of 30 people, including Kline and Garcia, in a boat to scuba dive in the open ocean, the Miami Herald reported.

When Kline and Garcia surfaced, however, they found that the boat had gone.

"We were in shock," Kline, 44, told the newspaper. "We could easily have died."

RJ Diving Ventures did not respond to requests for comment.

[Associated Press]

Palin Out, Ensign In!

Now she's not running for President. I don't see Trump around. So my fantasy Trump/Palin ticket now looks dead in the water. But hold on! I hear she's getting divorced? She's kind of easy? Screwing around with her husband's business partner? And college stars who became mediocre NBA players? Whew.

Soon she'll be single. I wonder if she'll stay in Alaska or move down to New York where the action is? Or maybe she'll have to economize and move to Jersey? I'm on the lookout. Do you think she'd be interested in an unsuccessful but hugely influential blogger? With 15 children and wives everywhere? Stranger things have happened!

Sarah Palin went on Fox News Wednesday night to explain her decision not to run for president in 2012 and apologize publicly to her supporters.

"I apologize to those whom are disappointed in this decision," Palin, a Fox contributor, said on "On the Record with Greta Van Susteren." "I've been hearing from them in the last couple of hours. But I believe that they, when they take a step back, will understand why the decision was made and understand that, really, you don't need a title to make a difference in this country. I think that I'm proof of that."

But to judge by recent polling, Palin may have been apologizing to a comparatively empty house. The former Alaska governor, who has been the subject of fervid speculation over her presidential ambitions for months, saw a majority of would-be GOP supporters reject the idea of a Palin bid for the presidency in recent opinion surveys.

Numerous polls showed Palin holding her own in national surveys, with wide name recognition across the political and media world. But most potential supporters didn't actually want her to run in 2012. Seventy-two percent of Republicans and Republican-leaning independents surveyed by McClatchy-Marist last month said they wouldn't welcome a Palin presidential run. Just 24 percent said they would. Numerous additional polls showed similar results, meaning Palin's decision Wednesday was just what many conservatives wanted--an engaged Palin, but not a candidate Palin.

[yahoo! news]

Florida Lawmaker's Jobs Plan: Dwarf Tossing

The bells of freedom are ringing down in Tallahassee. So are the ears of little people whose heads are hitting the floor.

A state legislator has found yet another example of government regulation getting in the way of job creation.

So Rep. Ritch Workman, R-Melbourne, filed a bill this week to bring back "dwarf tossing," the barbaric and dangerous barroom spectacle that was imported from Australia and thrived briefly in Florida before it was outlawed in 1989.

"I'm on a quest to seek and destroy unnecessary burdens on the freedom and liberties of people," Workman said. "This is an example of Big Brother government.

"All that it does is prevent some dwarfs from getting jobs they would be happy to get," Workman said. "In this economy, or any economy, why would we want to prevent people from getting gainful employment?"

[...]

Workman's efforts to create employment opportunities for little people willing to be objectified as flying objects was not done after consultation with anyone eligible for this line of work.

"The people who were thrown were alcoholics with low self-esteem," said Robert Van Etten, 62, of Stuart. "Many of them were injured. One committed suicide."

[...]

David Dodge, 43, of Vero Beach is a computer network consultant and the 4-foot-4-inch Florida district director of the Little People of America.

"The possibility of getting paralyzed is high," Dodge said, "and then to be used as an object for people's amusement is very degrading."

The little person credited with bringing dwarf tossing to Florida died of acute alcohol poisoning in 1989.

[Palm Beach Post]

Is It Safe, America?

One for the books on so many levels. A pearl among downers. The guy is broke and has no money or insurance so now he is screwed in court as well. Maybe he should have robbed a bank or gotten money from the money fairy to pay for the dentist?

The kid here, he's enterprising! You won't take me dad, I'll do it myself. Freelance dentistry or "unlicensed dentistry" as it is sometimes called has a long and proud tradition in this country and Europe as well. There was a movie about it once. "Marathon Man." Tough to sit through! Yaaaaghhhh!

In the past this would have been called good old fashioned American engine-nuity. Now it's just so much bad news. They make it all sound so wrong. Imagine if he had done a really GOOD job and pulled out the teeth completely? Would you have given the dad any credit THEN? No, right?

Plus it says "police say" the boy pulled out his own teeth? What did the KID say? Is anybody thinking about THAT, huh?

The final downer, as always - you can't win.

A Pennsylvania man has pleaded guilty to reckless endangerment after his teenage son tried to pull out his own teeth because he hadn't been taken to a dentist.

The Express-Times of Easton reports that 40-year-old Francisco Torres told a Northampton County judge Monday that he "procrastinated" in getting the boy dental care.

Police say the boy tried to pull out his teeth after complaining of pain for several months. He broke two teeth and needed emergency surgery to have the fragments removed. He is now 14.

The Express-Times report says Torres told the court he had insurance problems that contributed to the delay.

[Associate Press]

Herman Cain Doesn't Need Facts

Here's the Godfather himself pontificating upon the dirty hippies whining about Wall St.:

"I don't have facts to back this up, but I happen to believe that these demonstrations are planned and orchestrated to distract from the failed policies of the Obama administration. Don't blame Wall Street, don't blame the big banks, if you don't have a job and you're not rich, blame yourself! It is not someone’s fault if they succeeded."

Cain added that the banks "did have something to do with the crisis in 2008, but we're not in 2008, we're in 2011! Okay?"

Okay!

[Mother Jones]

Television Can No Longer Provide Needed Relief For This Generation Of Children

In my day, kids watched TV to escape reality and it was OKAY! It was called "the electronic babysitter." You sat there and watched pap and laughed. Sure the cartoon characters were getting their heads blown off or having anvils dropped on them, but that was all in fun.

THIS generation of kids can't even escape by watching "Sesame Street." We will bring an "awareness" of hunger and poverty and starvation to them. Isn't that great? Time was you could wait until you were about 10 or 12 to start realizing how fucked up everything was. Kids today will grow up faster. I say, "KEEP THEM IN THE DARK!" Let them have a childhood. The misery can wait.

A new poverty-stricken Muppet will highlight the issue of hunger struggles on an episode of "Sesame Street", the show said in a statement on Tuesday.

Pink-faced Muppet Lily, whose family deals with food insecurity, will join Big Bird, Elmo and other favorites on a one-hour prime-time special featuring country star Brad Paisley and his wife Kimberly Williams Paisley called "Growing Hope Against Hunger," to air Oct 9.

The new Muppet will bring awareness to the ongoing hunger struggles that families face in the United States, the show said.

"Food insecurity is a growing and difficult issue for adults to discuss, much less children," the Paisleys said in a statement.

[Reuters]

Hooters Moves To Safeguard Its Brand From Unscrupulous Bootleggers

There were so many downers in the newspaper today - kind of like Super Bowl week for a sports reporter. An embarrassment of riches. But this one...stealing business secrets from Hooters. That's pretty low. Around here there's a Hooters that has kids eat free on Tuesdays. Moms line up for miles to bring their kids in there.

Hooters isn't the worst place in the world, but the food is pretty bad. The wings in particular are awful. So if they are making any money at all it's with the hot chicks and the free food for kids and stuff like that. These secrets have to be respected. Bad enough they are calling this new business "Twin Peaks" - but ripping off an icon of a tiny niche of the food industry, the American soft core porn titillation restaurant? Is any great idea safe? It's a scary thought for people with ideas, or even thoughts.

Hopefully there will justice for all here, and to the Republic, for which it stands, and Hooters.

The Hooters of America restaurant chain filed a federal lawsuit in Atlanta this week claiming that a former executive swiped mounds of documents to help an upstart competitor that plans to expand the Twin Peaks franchise.

The lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court in Atlanta on Wednesday said former Hooters vice president Joseph Hummel downloaded reams of "sensitive and highly confidential business information" to help La Cima Restaurants, an Atlanta-based firm that plans to help build 35 Twin Peaks stores across the Southeast.

Both chains are known for scantily clad women serving casual food, but there's nothing sexy about the documents that Hooters claimed Hummel took. The lawsuit claims that Hummel downloaded marketing plans, contract agreements, recruiting tools and sales figures before and after he left the company to join La Cima on July 22.

"The casual dining industry operates on extremely thin profit margins," it said. "As a result, every operational advantage ... is a jealously guarded business secret."

[Associate Press]

All Bad And Getting Worse

Now you know. The "recession" we're living through now is just the beginning. There is a double dip bummer coming, or as some of us maintain, the never ending anvil of awful news will simply continue, with the rich getting richer and everybody else scrambling to live through unemployment, floods, earthquakes, and fear of other impending catastrophes. Soon they will stop using the word "recession" and just say "permanent crap" to describe the economic realities everybody but economists have seen for the better part of a decade.

But now it seems that we really KNOW it's really bad and never ending, which is better than the horrible uncertainty of not knowing.

Weakness in leading economic indicators has become so pervasive the Economic Cycle Research Institute now predicts a new recession is unavoidable.

"The vicious cycle is starting where lower sales, lower production, lower employment and lower income [leads] back to lower sales," co-founder Lakshman Achuthan declares in the accompanying video.

Whereas Achuthan said the jury is still out in late August, the weakness in leading economic indicators — and ECRI uses a dozen for the U.S. alone, he notes — has become a "contagion" that is spreading like "wildfire."

Although the recovery has been "subpar" by nearly every measure, Achuthan refutes the idea the economy never got out of recession in the first place. "Just because it looks and feels a certain way doesn't mean it's a recession," he says. "You haven't seen anything yet. It's going to get a lot worse."

It's too soon to predict just how bad it's going to get, but he expects another spike in unemployment and further expansion of the federal government's $1 trillion deficit. This forecast has huge ramifications for the 2012 election and the already struggling U.S. consumer and Achuthan says a "mild" recession is the best-case scenario.

By now you may be wondering what separates ECRI's recession call from the myriad other recession calls out there. First, ECRI's primary raison d'etre is predicting recession and recovery calls. Second, and more importantly, The Economist reports ECRI has never issued a "false alarm" on a recession call, meaning many of the Chicken Littles currently declaring "the sky is falling" might actually be right this time around.

[yahoo! Daily Ticker]