The Body of Christ, The Blood of Christ, The Feces of Someone Else

Yikes, this was one yucky Eucharist. Note to priests: if you must fondle the anuses of alter boys, please wash your hands before putting wafers on people's tongues.

Hundreds of people who took Holy Communion at two Christmas Day services at Our Lady of Lourdes Church in Massapequa Park may have been exposed to the hepatitis A virus, Nassau County health officials said Monday.

Nassau County Department of Health announced what it's calling potential exposures to the virus during the 10:30 a.m. and noon Masses on Dec. 25, but would not say how many parishioners - if any - may have been infected. The health department declined to say who might have transmitted the pathogen, which is found in the fecal matter of the viral carrier.

[...]

"Hepatitis A can make you pretty sick," said Dr. Melissa Palmer, medical director of NYU Hepatology Associates in Plainview. "Most people will get flulike symptoms, diarrhea - on occasion some people will have jaundice. But unlike hepatitis B and C, it does not lead to chronic liver disease."

[...]

Msgr. James Lisante, who is pastor of the parish, could not be reached Monday night. But an outgoing recording at the rectory referred questions to the Health Department. The diocese said on its website: "We pray that no one comes down with this virus."

(The Captain tips his cap to reader J.M. for radioing this story to the S.S. Bringdown's ship-to-shore communications department.)

[Newsday]