Jolly Good Show

My mom watches stuff like this and it makes me want to kill myself. Wedding related programming. Worth millions without ever working a day in their lives. And everybody is so happy for them, watching this crap and buying commemorative mugs. You know how you get Kate Middleton's signature glow? You make millions of dollars without ever working a day in your life. That gives you a glow. I'm so glad they are happy. It must be tough to be happy with all of their struggles. Having to navigate through their mansion without tripping over piles of cash and gold. Brutal. At least in the old days sometimes the queen would get her head chopped off. Now it's just boh-ring. Grrrrrr.

Prince William and wife Kate looked lovely again today as they attended a reception in London to celebrate the Scott-Amundsen Centenary Race to the South Pole, in support of The Royal British Legion. The royal couple will celebrate their first wedding anniversary on Sunday and it's expected to be private and low key. But a palace spokesman said today the two will get together with friends "who have a celebration" planned for the night before. Even though it's unclear exactly how the duke and duchess will celebrate, we do know that others are taking advantage of the happy occasion. Tetley tea is honoring the special day by offering a year's supply of Tetley tea to married couples with the names William and Kate. Whether they are Billy and Katie, Will and Katherine, or Wills and Kit, if the two legal first names are traditionally accepted versions of William and Catherine, they will be eligible to receive the prize. Guandong Enterprises is selling a special anniversary mug. Good Morning America's Deals and Steals honcho Tory Johnson announced special deals this morning to help "give you Kate Middleton's signature glow." TLC plans to air a special weekend of wedding-related programming. And E! has announced Giuliana Rancic will host a special, Kate & Will: Happily Ever After, premiering on Friday at 9 p.m. ET/PT.

[USA Today]

A Race Of Sniveling Cowards

I suppose this is no surprise, but still a disappointment. When you're young, you have the courage to question things, but as you get older, you hedge your bets. Do you think God is going to forget you were a wiseass when you were young? When you get old and say you believe God is going to forget the uppity young feller you were back then? I DON'T THINK SO. If there is a God he remembers all of it. So you are out of luck with this pathetic deathbed conversion plan, even though your religious advisor may encourage it to get that one big donation out of you before you cash in your chips.

Belief in God is highest among older people and increases with age, perhaps due to the growing realization that death is coming closer, University of Chicago researchers said on Wednesday. Summarizing data from surveys performed in 1991, 1998 and 2008 in 30 countries from Chile to Japan, the university's National Opinion Research Center found that, on average, 43 percent of those aged 68 and older were certain that God exists. By comparison, an average of 23 percent of people aged 27 and younger were firm believers in God, according to the report, which gathered data from the International Social Survey Program, a consortium of the world's leading opinion survey organizations. "Looking at differences among age groups, the largest increases in belief in God most often occur among those 58 years of age and older. This suggests that belief in God is especially likely to increase among the oldest groups, perhaps in response to the increasing anticipation of mortality," researcher Tom Smith said in a statement.

[Reuters]

The Robosexual Future Is Now

At this writing this is the top trending story online, which goes to show what the Internet is really all about. My question is - why is this all about robot PROSTITUTES? Can't we all just have these robots? Imagine how this will change everything, including marriage and dating? This could end the divorce epidemic, since people won't be compelled to get married to avoid ending up alone. Plus it will end the desperation epidemic, and probably hurt bar business since people will no longer have any reason to hang out till 4AM attempting to find true romance, or at least sex.

What about the male robots? Why only woman robots? Not really getting this either. Must innovation be confined to MEN who travel to pay for sex? Do they really deserve the benefits of this technology?

Finally, what about a new type of person that will PREFER sex with robots? I may need to coin another word to go along with IGNOGANT.

I've got it - ROBOSEXUAL. Use it in a sentence? Okay. In 100 years they will say "America was destroyed by a new master race of robosexuals as childbirth dwindled to zero." We end with a whimper, not a bang. Heh.

Sex workers in Amsterdam will have a hard time finding work if two New Zealand academics' vision of the future comes true.

"In 2050, Amsterdam's red light district will all be about android prostitutes who are clean of sexual transmitted infections, not smuggled in from Eastern Europe and forced into slavery, the city council will have direct control over android sex workers controlling prices, hours of operations and sexual services," write futurologist Ian Yeoman and sexologist Michelle Mars.

The duo's paper, Robots, Men And Sex Tourism, published in the journal Futures, centres on an imaginary future sex club in Amsterdam called Yub-Yum.

It posits that sex tourists will dish out big cash for all-inclusive robot sex romps.

This will be a big win for Amsterdam, they say, as the city will keep drawing huge swaths of randy tourists willing to empty their pockets, but avoid all the downsides, like drugs, violence and underage exploitation.

The sex-bots will even be made from bacteria resistant fibre, the Victoria University of Wellington academics predict.

[canoe technology]

Gingrich Rejected By Animals And Humans Alike

Talk about adding injury to insult. First the American public resoundingly rejects Gingrich and now this. You have to read between the lines here. This is presented like, oh, the penguin just happened to bite Newt. NO! That's not all there is to it by a longshot. You believe animals don't think? They don't know what's going on? Of course they do! This penguin saw Gingrich and was looking to swallow him whole, but he could only get a finger.

Not only that, but the animals are well aware of Gingrich's stupid zoo books and that pisses them off even more. You think animals like being in the zoo? NO again! If I were Newt Gingrich I would stick with the small fry, like goldfish. Let's see if he really visits another zoo anytime soon. His staffers may wise him up to the danger. If he's attacked by a polar bear don't say I didn't tell you so! Another accurate predication from America's leading prognosticator.

The message for Gingrich is clear, from man and beast alike - BRING US FOOD OR STAY HOME! We've all heard enough.

Things have not been going all that well for Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich lately, even at one of his favorite places - the zoo.

Newt was nipped on the finger by a penguin during a private tour of the famous St. Louis zoo on Friday before he spoke to the National Rifle Association convention, zoo officials confirmed on Monday.

Gingrich, who is trailing in the Republican race for the White House and is under pressure to withdraw, passed unscathed through Big Cat Country and avoided contact with the crocodiles in the Herpetarium. But his visit took a turn when a Magellanic penguin pecked at the candidate's hand.

"He was nipped on the finger by a penguin," zoo public relations director Susan Gallagher said. "A Band-Aid took care of the injury."

Gingrich vowed he would not shun zoos. "Newt is a zoo fan. He will be back," spokesman R. C. Hammond said.

The zoo allows people on private tours to get "up close and personal" with the birds.

Gingrich has made a habit of visiting zoos while running for president and wrote the forward for "America's Best Zoos: A Travel Guide for Fans & Families."

[Reuters]

Bad News For Rich Guys Going Through A Midlife Crisis

What does Aventador mean? Sounds like it means "adventure." So in a way you're getting what you pay for.

Seriously I always look at the sports cars that pass me and I see it's usually old guys driving them. Rewarding themselves for a lifetime of hard work and exploitation by making the roads unsafe for the rest of us.

Here's another thing. You're paying all this money for a really fast car. Where can you drive it? How often can you go more than 55? What's the point? Do these guys all take their cars to a secret place where they can go 150 mph? If not, what's the point?

What will these rich guys do, now that they can't get this new toy? Between this and getting their taxes raised they should definitely protest, like a Million White Middle Aged Guys In Ferraris March on Washington or something. These guys have a dream too, it just doesn't include minorities and the poor. Or illegal immigrants. Or a President named Obama.

I'm just glad the owner's okay. WINK!

A black Lamborghini Aventador burned itself up like a protesting Buddhist monk this morning in Southern California according to a poster on Luxury4Play. And here we thought self-immolation was a Ferrari trademark.

The owner is ok, but the gorgeous black bull is sadly a pile of blackened metal.

The car actually belongs to a dealer and was on a test drive, which led to this awesome pose from "Aventador Guy" and video of the fire.

We've got decent details on the fire thanks to an astute forum member who pulled down the information from a traffic site:

The "left rear wheel on fire" points to a non-collision incident, although it's too early to speculate what caused it.

Hopefully, this is just a one-off and not the start of a trend.

[jalopnik.com]

What's Wrong With The Truth?

You would like to believe there were some boundaries in a political campaign. Like you are not going to attack the other guy's family. But if the guy trots out his wife as an expert on "women and the economy" isn't it fair to discuss the wife's credentials?

This Rosen woman is right, what the hell does Ann Romney know about women and the economy? Nothing. There's nothing wrong with saying she's never worked a day in her life and everyone knows what that means. Everybody knows the distinction between "working women" and women who stay home and take care of five kids, and nobody would say the women who stay home don't "work."

And I'll tell you what else is true, if you have $100 million you have the luxury of making certain decisions, like having more kids because you know your wife can stay home and take care of them. Why can't rich people just come out and say "yeah I'm rich" instead of trying to compare themselves to people who aren't rich? How many women are in Ann Romney's shoes, and have access to this kind of money and get to live how they want to live? There's hard work and then there's hard work in a mansion. Come on. What's wrong with calling a spade a spade?

You know what was hard work for the Romneys? Buying everything they ever wanted. It's only April and I'm all agitated.

There's likely to be more buzz Thursday about Democratic strategist and DNC adviser Hilary Rosen's accusation that Ann Romney has never worked.

"Guess what, his wife has actually never worked a day in her life," Rosen told CNN's Anderson Cooper on Wednesday evening during an interview about the "war on women."

Moments later, Ann Romney made her debut on Twitter: @AnnDRomney. Her first and only Tweet as of early Thursday morning: "I made a choice to stay home and raise five boys. Believe me, it was hard work."

One of Rosen's responding Tweets @hilaryr: "Please know, I admire you. But your husband shouldn't say you are his expert on women and the economy."

There was bipartisan disapproval of Rosen's remark about Romney, including tweeted disapproval from President Barack Obama's campaign manager Jim Messina and top Obama campaign strategist David Axelrod.

[yahoo! news]

Boob Bummed As Focus Shifts From Boobs

I have written about J Love before and I will confess to having a crush on her. Wait, I mean I'd like to crush her. Wait, what I really mean is I would like to meet her, and crush her, but only if she doesn't talk. People talk about J Lo and that big butt. They can have her! I'm a J Love man. Every couple of years she threatens to get married and she blows it with her big mouth, yapping about relationships and what she needs and blah blah blah and then you realize why they make movies about axe murderers.

Look at this picture. She was going to pull up her shirt and someone told her not to. She looks so sad. Me too.

Anyway she's got a new show on, "The Client List," and even though it's on TV she is Oscar worthy as a poor woman forced into prostitution through poverty. So why are the folks promoting the show such a bunch of squares? Why would they imagine anyone would watch this show if they were not going to catch the full J Love boob effect? Did they think she was Meryl Streep? Give the people what they want! It would be great if they just focused on her boobs the whole time, like when she's talking it doesn't show her talking, it just shows her boobs. An Oscar would be inadequate to commemorate this.

The lesson here is that people are NEVER happy. You hire the woman with big boobs and then you shrink them down. The people that were in it for the big boobs will be disappointed and the other people, who can understand what they are all about anyway? Come on. Let's all cry freedom and let those things get some air.

Jennifer Love Hewitt got a breast reduction in ad ad for her new show “The Client List” running in Entertainment Weekly.

And she is not happy.

Identical ads for the ‘Party of Five’ star’s new show ran in The Hollywood Reporter and Entertainment Weekly. With one big difference.

The ad in EW had been digitally altered. In the THR ad, and all of the other ads using the image, Love Hewitt is significantly larger up top.

“Somebody sent me a copy of the photograph, and I was like, ‘Um, what happened?” she said on the radio on Friday. “I’m not quite sure what’s going on, but apparently somebody wanted me to have a boob reduction.”

Love Hewitt recently appeared on the cover of Maxim, telling the magazine her assets had served her well over the years.

Apparently someone at EW thought otherwise?

[fox411.com]

Octomom's Self Inflicted Plight Lands Her In The News Yet Again

See, isn't this why people don't have 14 children? Because if you have 14 kids you'll go broke and be unable to support them? Is it better to have 14 children and have this situation or use your judgement and not have 14 children? Bear in mind this woman had 6 kids BEFORE she became "octomom." If being a good mom means being unable to support your family then she is a good mom.

Has anybody seen the nude pictures? I heard she posed nude for some cash. Is she hot? What's the story? And where did that money go? How many of the children are demons, like this one in the picture? If you have 14 kids odds are at least one will be a demon.

Finally, is this really God's will or just plain stupid?

There are people who are famous for being famous and now we have people that are famous for excessive reproduction. What's next? There's a woman out there right now I've been hearing about who is famous for walking into a propellor. I've been trying to get famous for years and I have no luck at all. If somebody has an idea for me to get famous without going broke or getting hurt too badly please let me know.

Despite dire financial straits, octuplets mother Nadya Suleman said she is still capable of being a good mother and supporting her brood of 14 children.

In an interview with Matt Lauer on the "Today" show Thursday, the Orange County woman acknowledged that she is accepting food stamps as a temporary measure to make ends meet.

Suleman, who had vowed not to accept public assistance, said she has been accepting $2,000 a month in food stamps for the last two months. She said she has business ventures in the works to make money, including an online "Octomom TV" project and the release of a horror movie she starred in, "Millennium."

"I'm working as hard as I possibly can to support them," she said.

In response to a question about her financial condition deteriorating to the point that social services may be forced to break up her family, Suleman said, "That will never happen. I can guarantee you of that."

Suleman is also facing foreclosure on her La Habra home, but her attorney recently told City News Service that those proceedings could be delayed until late April.

[sfgate.com]

Most Of Your Life Is Going To Be A Drag

Life expectancy in the United States has surged to 78. So if you are happiest when you are 33, that leaves 45 grim years ahead of you. Plus if you had an unhappy childhood, even if you hit your stride when you get to 33, the vast majority of your life is going to be relatively unhappy, compared to this tiny sliver of happiness you will hit at 33.

Interesting that the article points out that happiness is correlated with the loss of innocence and the end of wild scheming. For me, the innocence made me happier and the wild scheming was great. When I got to be 33 my thinking was - "it's over, if you were going to get somewhere you would have gotten there already." That was my age of resignation. Given the crucifixion, I don't think Jesus was happiest when he was 33, and I don't care what this article says.

I wonder what the other 30% of the people said, in terms of when they were happiest. It would be funny if your happiest moment came right before you died. And that's what you were living for the whole time and you just had no clue. Hardy har har.

Have a nice day.

Here's a wildly simple, profoundly interesting question: At what age are you happiest? According to a recent survey, the answer is 33.

Friends Reunited, a U.K. website, found that 70 percent of respondents over the age of 40 said they did not find true happiness until they were 33 years old.

"[That age] is enough time to have shaken off childhood naivety and the wild scheming of teen-aged years without losing the energy and enthusiasm of youth," Donna Dawson, a psychologist, told Fox's Washington, D.C., affiliate. "Innocence has been lost, but our sense of reality is mixed with a strong sense of hope, a 'can do' spirit, and a healthy belief in our own talents and abilities."

As the site pointed out, Jesus Christ was crucified at age 33. Oh, and "33-year-old celebrities like Jennifer Love Hewitt, Maroon 5 front man Adam Levine and Katie Holmes seem to be enjoying a wealth of success right now."

[yahoo! news]

Heartless Bastard Gets Heart

I need more information to properly evaluate this, but at a glance, if there are over 3,000 people waiting for a heart how do you give one to Dick Cheney? He says he's 71 but I have a feeling he's much older, like some of those Cuban baseball players who say they are 30 but are actually 50.

Plus Cheney is still having problems even though he's had surgery and God only knows what kind of blood changing voodoo he's gotten over in Switzerland. If Keith Richards is getting new blood, and Frank Sinatra was regularly injected with the blood of young boys to stay young, can you imagine what Cheney's been getting? He's probably eaten a few children along the way to survive.

Finally, and most obviously, why does Dick Cheney need a heart anyway? He's done fine so far without one.

Doctors say it is unlikely that former Vice President Dick Cheney, who is 71, got special treatment when he was given a new heart that thousands of younger people also were in line to receive.

Still, his case reopens debate about whether rules should be changed to favor youth over age in giving out scarce organs. As it stands now, time on the waiting list, medical need, and where you live determine the odds of receiving a new heart - not how many years you will live to make use of it.

“The ethical issues are not that he had a transplant, but who didn’t?’’ Dr. Eric Topol, a cardiologist at Scripps Health in La Jolla, Calif., wrote on Twitter.

Cheney received the transplant Saturday at Inova Fairfax Hospital in Falls Church, Va., the same place where he received an implanted heart pump that has kept him alive since July 2010. It appears he went on the transplant wait list about that time, 20 months ago.

He had severe congestive heart failure and had suffered five heart attacks over the past 25 years. Cheney has had countless procedures to keep him going - bypasses, artery-opening angioplasty, pacemakers, and surgery on his legs. Yet he must have had a healthy liver and kidneys to qualify for a new heart, doctors said.

“We have done several patients hovering around age 70’’ although that’s about “the upper limit’’ for a transplant, said Dr. Mariell Jessup, a University of Pennsylvania heart failure specialist and American Heart Association spokeswoman. “The fact he waited such a long time shows he didn’t get any favors.’’

Cheney, who was vice president to George W. Bush from 2001 until 2009, was recovering in the intensive care unit Sunday. As part of his recuperation, he will have to take daily medicines to prevent rejection of his new heart and go through rehabilitation to walk and return to normal living.

The International Society for Heart and Lung Transplantation said in 2006 that while patients recommended for a heart transplant should generally be 70 or younger, carefully selected patients older than 70 could be considered. In 2008, about 12 percent of heart transplant patients were 65 or older.

More than 3,100 Americans are waiting now for a new heart, and about 330 die each year before one becomes available. When one does, doctors check to see who is a good match and in highest medical need. The heart is offered locally, then regionally, and finally nationally until a match is made.

[boston.com]

America's Hidden Plea - "Keep It Shallow"

This really speaks for itself, but I'm wondering what is wrong with a few meaningless relationships? We all have them, right? The only stunning thing about the evolution of Facebook and our society is that we are now getting to the point where ALL relationships are meaningless.

Otherwise this is a great summary of everything that's worth hating about Facebook, and it will make absolutely no difference at all to anyone who's already on there. Facts don't matter. Neither does science or any goofy study.

People have an endless appetite for posting pictures of their cats playing with string, they don't know who their Congressman is, and as I'm sitting here sweating through March in the beautiful Northeastern United States Rick Santorum is calling global warming a liberal conspiracy. I did not know the liberals could do anything this effectively. Warming the entire Earth. My only question is, will the global warming slow down the zombie thing, or speed it up. Otherwise, power to the people!

Enjoy your day.

For the average narcissist, Facebook is tool that may promote anti-social behavior.

Facebook "offers a gateway for hundreds of shallow relationships and emotionally detached communication," according to study by Western Illinois University professor Christopher Carpenter.

The study was published this month in Personality and Individual Differences, the official journal of the International Society for the Study of Individual Differences.

In the study, Carpenter defined narcissism as "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration and an exaggerated sense of self-importance," according to a press release from the university.

Using a Narcissistic Personality Inventory, Carpenter and his students surveyed 292 people - most of whom were college students - to measure "self-promoting" Facebook behavior, such as people posting status updates, their photos, updating profile information; as well as "anti-social behaviors," including seeking social support more than providing it, getting angry when others do not comment on status updates and retaliating against negative comments.

People who score higher on the inventory promoted themselves more on Facebook - by tagging themselves and updating their newsfeeds more frequently, and by having more friends on Facebook, according to a report in the Guardian newspaper.

The study concluded that grandiose exhibitionism correlated with anti-social behavior on Facebook. Self-esteem was negatively related to self-promotion and anti-social behaviors on the site.

"In general, the 'dark side' of Facebook requires more research in order to better understand Facebook's socially beneficial and harmful aspects in order to enhance the former and curtail the latter," Carpenter said.

Social media sites, particularly Facebook and Twitter, have long been criticized for being vehicles for meaningless relationships, and have recently been mentioned in connection with making bullying easier and more pervasive.

[ABC News]

My Way Of Life Is Over, On To The Void

When I was a child, before I went to sea, a man came to our door and sold me dad an encyclopedia. That's how we learned. Book reports. And the Encyclopedia. Honestly my dad could not afford the Brittanica, which was the really good one, so we got the Encyclopedia Americana. My neighbors upstairs had the Brittanica, and I always borrowed it to ace what I wanted to. And the difference today is the quality of the contributors? Duh-hey! What?

So now it's all online. I'm sure these kids today will turn out smarter. Right?

The end of serendipity, as we know it.

Leafing through the world's knowledge, alphabetically, will become am obsolete tradition. The oldest English-language general encyclopedia -- according to, of course, the Encyclopædia Britannica -- will abandon foolscap once and for all.

"For 244 years, the thick volumes of the Encyclopaedia Britannica have stood on the shelves of homes, libraries, and businesses everywhere, a source of enlightenment as well as comfort to their owners and users around the world," reports its blog. "Today we've announced that we will discontinue the 32-volume printed edition of the Encyclopaedia Britannica when our current inventory is gone." That inventory includes 4,000 in its warehouse -- about 8,000 sets have been sold at $1,395 a pop. (Seven million sets have been published in its storied history.)

Digital afterlife

While the move is acknowledged as "momentous," the blog also points out that the Britannica already has a digital presence. Also, those weighty printed sets (the New York Times measures the 32-volume set at 129 pounds) only account for less than 1 percent of the company's sales.

Then again, a Britannica Online subscription costs $70 a year or $1.99 per month for its app. (In honor of its print dissolution, the online service is free for one week.) That hasn't been an easy sell in the days of search engines and Wikipedia. Still, the company plans to polish up its digital offerings and even add "social connections," according to CNN Money.

What distinguishes Britannica from its Wiki-counterparts has been its expertise: Contributors have included the likes of Sigmund Freud and Marie Curie to Bill Clinton and Tony Hawk. What Wiki might lack in quality, it atones for in quantity: The Guardian reports that Wikipedia English brims with 3.9 million articles, while Britannica has 120,000.

Encyclopedic mourning

Wordsmiths twit-mourned this shift in encyclopedic erudition.

"NCTCopyDesk is in mourning. Unbelievable! RT @cnnbrk Encyclopedia Britannica to stop printing. on.cnn.com/x3tZXw." Some reminisced about their childhood education through its tomes: "My family's used set got me through 12+ years of school :( >> Encyclopedia Britannica to stop printing books zite.to/x79v0w

Others lashed out, looking to cast blame for its demise. "Wikipedia and the Internet just killed 244-year-old Encyclopaedia Britannica tnw.to/1DeWE by @thatdrew." Another noted, "Blaming 'modern bloody wogs and mau-maus' Encyclopaedia Britannica ends print edition. FT:ft.com/intl/cms/s/0/7…"

[yahoo! news]

Impose Your Will On The World

First downer is how successful this guy is. Santorum is winning primaries left and right. Granted he is running against Romney, a clueless rich boob who can't get out of his own way, but still, he is WINNING. Just the other day he called global warming a liberal conspiracy. I read a study that said over 3 million people in the U.S. live in areas that will be "inundated" with water someday soon. They see it happening, but they can't give you an exact date. Would President Santorum blame the liberals as the sea comes crashing through Florida, turning Miami into a modern day Atlantis? We will have to wait and see.

In addition to the arrogance reflected here, the guy is also just flat out wrong. There is no federal law requiring a state to declare English as their official language. It occurs to me that I've written about this combination of arrogance and ignorance before. About Donald Trump! Republicans seem to love this combo. It might make a great new word for the dictionary. Ignogance. I'm going to submit it to Webster's today.

The writer makes an excellent point about Santorum doing this deliberately. It's hard to imagine waves of Puerto Ricans coming out to vote for Santorum. But telling the Puerto Ricans to get in line and speak English will play well with Santorum's core supporters who love his ignogant stand on the issues. If I were listening to this I would have asked Santorum to extend his position to its logical conclusion. Why stop at Puerto Rico? Maybe the French would give up their language so France could become a state? That may solve their problems once and for all. And they wouldn't be able to prattle on about "stupid Americans" anymore because they would be....Americans! If we made this option available I bet half the world would take us up on it. Santorum may be able to use English to succeed where aspiring world conquerors from Alexander the Great to Napoleon have failed. We may need another title beyond PRESIDENT to address him. All hail Santorum!

Campaigning in Puerto Rico, Rick Santorum doesn't show any signs that he wants to pander Wednesday, telling voters (erroneously) that they must declare English their only official language to achieve statehood.

You'd think Santorum would want to butter up Puerto Ricans a bit more deftly, given the fact that Mitt Romney's victories in American Samoa and Hawaii last night actually won him more delegates than Santorum grabbed with his Alabama and Mississippi wins. Yet according to Reuters, Santorum told El Vocero, a local newspaper, "Like any other state, there has to be compliance with this and any other federal law ... And that is that English has to be the principal language. There are other states with more than one language such as Hawaii but to be a state of the United States, English has to be the principal language."

As Reuters helpfully points out, there actually isn't a federal law mandating English as the national language, though some states have chosen to pass one themselves. Putting aside the fact that Santorum made a mistake, he also seems rather unstrategic in a territory in which both English and Spanish are listed as official languages and where people are pretty attached to their Spanish-speaking heritage. Meanwhile, Romney, who's probably very aware the the territory has 20 delegates he can use for his growing lead, had a line we think Puerto Ricans will like a bit more, saying simply that he'd help them if they chose to pursue statehood. Santorum's "English as the national language" issue probably wasn't intended for Puerto Rican newspaper readers though, as it tends to play well among the more culturally conservative voters he's reaching for these days. It may have seemed like a gaffe, but maybe it was a strategic one -- or maybe he's already thinking ahead to the general election.

[the Atlantic Wire]

Shut Up Already

On the one hand, it's good that he's getting out of the apocalypse prediction business. I vowed to stop listening to him as soon as I heard him speak. On the other hand, since he's been wrong every time, maybe NOW there WILL be an apocalypse, or at least an apocalyptic event. Would it be too much to ask for a meteorite to strike just close enough to Harold Camping to startle him? I wouldn't want it to FLATTEN him, just humble him a little.

I'm still betting on talking dogs and zombies, plus whoever will collaborate with them. That seems to be the most likely scenario.

Preacher Harold Camping is leaving it to the Mayans. The 90-year-old head of Family Radio incorrectly predicted the Rapture would take place on May 21, 2011, and when that didn't happen he aimed for Oct. 21, 2011, which also failed. "We have no new evidence pointing to another date for the end of the world," Camping said in a statement on the Family Radio website. His bad timing on the Rapture became a huge media event, mostly to mock him, but some of his followers quit their jobs and donated their life savings ahead of the event. Camping said he has sinned by promoting May 21 as Judgment Day and says he has no plans to ever predict the date again.

[msn.com]

Genius Is Its Own Reward

I was away at sea for awhile and just got back. I was tuned in to the stock market channel and the pundits were saying that Apple stock was cheap and could go as high as $1,000 a share. So the first thing is that nobody in the financial community cares about any of this awful news coming out of China. Neither do the Apple stockholders. I would say the users of these products don't care either. It would be great if there was a new "app" that would subject iPad users to searing pain periodically so they would have some inkling of what goes into making these important gadgets that are ruining our society.

These are not petty allegations. Children forced to spray screens with neurotoxins. If you're hand gets crushed they fire you. If you complain you are blacklisted.

The other great thing about this is that apparently it will not put a dent in Steve Jobs' reputation as a genius. Is it genius to generate huge profit margins by using child labor? If Apple made its products outside of China and they made less money would Steve Jobs still be a genius? Could Apple squeak by on a little less money? All depends on who you ask. If you ask ME, I'd say using child labor is a crime. If you ask your broker, he'd probably say "buy Apple you dunce." This is part of why I'm not rich.

In addition to "genius is its own reward" I'm reminded of the great quote by Balzac.

"Behind every great fortune is a crime."

I'm sponsoring another contest. Send in an example of someone who has amassed a great fortune without at least touching on criminal activity, in their own work or in the manufacturing or sales process.

If this goes anything like my other contests I don't think I have to name a prize, because nobody ever sends in an entry, which is a DOWNER for me, on top of the downer lifestyle these workers are subjected to. Today is a double downer to make up for my time off at sea. Enjoy!

We love our iPhones and iPads.

We love the prices of our iPhones and iPads.

We love the super-high profit margins of Apple, Inc., the maker of our iPhones and iPads.

And that's why it's disconcerting to remember that the low prices of our iPhones and iPads — and the super-high profit margins of Apple — are only possible because our iPhones and iPads are made with labor practices that would be illegal in the United States.

And it's also disconcerting to realize that the folks who make our iPhones and iPads not only don't have iPhones and iPads (because they can't afford them), but, in some cases, have never even seen them.

This is a complex issue. But it's also an important one. And it's only going to get more important as the world's economies continue to become more intertwined.

Last week, PRI's "This American Life" did a special on Apple's manufacturing. The show featured (among others) the reporting of Mike Daisey, the man who does the one-man stage show "The Agony and the Ecstasy of Steve Jobs," and The NYT's Nicholas Kristof, whose wife's family is from China.

You can read a transcript of the whole show here. Here are some details:

The Chinese city of Shenzhen is where most of our "crap" is made. 30 years ago, Shenzhen was a little village on a river. Now it's a city of 13 million people — bigger than New York.

Foxconn, one of the companies that builds iPhones and iPads (and products for many other electronics companies), has a factory in Shenzhen that employs 430,000 people.

There are 20 cafeterias at the Foxconn Shenzhen plant. They each serve 10,000 people.

One Foxconn worker Mike Daisey interviewed, outside factory gates manned by guards with guns, was a 13-year old girl. She polished the glass of thousands of new iPhones a day.

The 13-year old said Foxconn doesn't really check ages. There are on-site inspections, from time to time, but Foxconn always knows when they're happening. And before the inspectors arrive, Foxconn just replaces the young-looking workers with older ones.

In the first two hours outside the factory gates, Daisey meets workers who say they are 14, 13, and 12 years old (along with plenty of older ones). Daisey estimates that about 5% of the workers he talked to were underage.

Daisey assumes that Apple, obsessed as it is with details, must know this. Or, if they don't, it's because they don't want to know.

Daisey visits other Shenzhen factories, posing as a potential customer. He discovers that most of the factory floors are vast rooms filled with 20,000-30,000 workers apiece. The rooms are quiet: There's no machinery, and there's no talking allowed. When labor costs so little, there's no reason to build anything other than by hand.

A Chinese working "hour" is 60 minutes — unlike an American "hour," which generally includes breaks for Facebook, the bathroom, a phone call, and some conversation. The official work day in China is 8 hours long, but the standard shift is 12 hours. Generally, these shifts extend to 14-16 hours, especially when there's a hot new gadget to build. While Daisey is in Shenzhen, a Foxconn worker dies after working a 34-hour shift.

Assembly lines can only move as fast as their slowest worker, so all the workers are watched (with cameras). Most people stand.

The workers stay in dormitories. In a 12-by-12 cement cube of a room, Daisey counts 15 beds, stacked like drawers up to the ceiling. Normal-sized Americans would not fit in them.

Unions are illegal in China. Anyone found trying to unionize is sent to prison.

Daisey interviews dozens of (former) workers who are secretly supporting a union. One group talked about using "hexane," an iPhone screen cleaner. Hexane evaporates faster than other screen cleaners, which allows the production line to go faster. Hexane is also a neuro-toxin. The hands of the workers who tell him about it shake uncontrollably.

Some workers can no longer work because their hands have been destroyed by doing the same thing hundreds of thousands of times over many years (mega-carpal-tunnel). This could have been avoided if the workers had merely shifted jobs. Once the workers' hands no longer work, obviously, they're canned.

One former worker had asked her company to pay her overtime, and when her company refused, she went to the labor board. The labor board put her on a black list that was circulated to every company in the area. The workers on the black list are branded "troublemakers" and companies won't hire them.

One man got his hand crushed in a metal press at Foxconn. Foxconn did not give him medical attention. When the man's hand healed, it no longer worked. So they fired him. (Fortunately, the man was able to get a new job, at a wood-working plant. The hours are much better there, he says — only 70 hours a week).

The man, by the way, made the metal casings of iPads at Foxconn. Daisey showed him his iPad. The man had never seen one before. He held it and played with it. He said it was "magic."

[yahoo! finance]