Soylent Green Is People!

They have been blowing this smoke for years. What's so funny is that the people negotiating these contracts on behalf of the unions apparently don't read the newspaper, because if they did, they would know that as soon as the ink was dry on the new contract the government was going out to spend all of its money on limos and hookers and not put a dime in the pension fund. This is not a secret, right? I've read about 20 times over the past few years, in my spare time.

I'm wondering...what "collision course" are they talking about? Isn't the public work force composed...of taxpayers? The public work force is going to collide with...itself? Or other taxpayers? This is making my head hurt.

Finally, is this really a problem? Sometimes Hollywood gets it right. We'll get the old people together and push them into one of those machines that turns them into candy bars. Don't you remember that movie, "Soylent Green"? At the end he realizes they are feeding everyone with the candy bars made out of dead people? Charlton Heston? You remember.

The cities, counties and authorities of New York have promised more than $200 billion worth of health benefits to their retirees while setting aside almost nothing, putting the public work force on a collision course with the taxpayers who are expected to foot the bill.

[NY Times]

Sorry About Your Dead Husband, But I'm Writing You a Ticket

Here's the latest six feet under news from Down Under.

GRIEVING relatives will be the latest target of council parking inspectors who now have the power to put tickets on vehicles at cemetery grounds.

Changes to powers given to councils by the State Government will allow inspectors to leave $50 fines and $21 fines on car windscreens of mourners breaking even minor road rules or parking in the wrong place.

[...]

Maria Bertin, who visits Enfield Cemetery twice a month to tend the grave of her late husband and Centennial Park for her late brother, mother and father, said the new rule was "very sad".

"I can't see any justice in a system like this because there is no traffic problem here," she said.

[...]

A spokeswoman for Local Government Minister Gail Gago said the changes were made to make it easier to prosecute people.

"In order to give cemetery authorities the ability to enforce the regulation without necessitating court proceedings, it was deemed appropriate to allow an expiation system to deal with any offences which may arise under the new regulations," she said.

There is some good news in this piece, however -- biodegradable coffin rules have been relaxed.

[Adelaide Now] [Daily Telegraph]

Nobody Nose the Troubles She's Seen

Judging from the shnoz in the "before" picture in the linked piece, perhaps this was a blessing in disguise.

A hairdresser was horrified when her nose collapsed after decades of breathing in minute hair clippings.

Edwina Phillipson, 51, from Northumberland, says tiny fragments of hair lodged themselves in the skin inside her nose.

This caused an infection that eventually caused a hole to open through her septum.

After 35 years of being exposed to the professional hazard the mother-of-three had to undergo an operation to rebuild it using cartilage taken from her right ear.

[...]

Mrs Phillipson's problems began 12 years ago when her nose began to get irritated from hairs in the air at work.

Scratching the area made the problem worse, as it created an open wound which was ripe for infection and would then attract more hairs.

[...]

[Mrs Phillipson said,] 'It's incredibly painful. But I'm thrilled with what they have done for me.

'I had no choice because eventually the hole would increase in size and my septum would have fallen out.

'I wear the blue surgical masks at the moment, but even them, I have discovered, let the hairs through. I'm going to have a look at getting better fitting masks for fine particles.'

[Daily Mail] via [TheAwl]

Talent Show Done Right: Losing Draws the Final Curtain

If contestants on American Idol faced their own death and that of their family as a consequence of losing, the Captain would be a rabid fan. Whoever said the British were restrained and genteel has obviously never seen X Factor, a Simon Cowell production that apparently likes its losers dead.

Distraught X Factor singer Gamu Nhengu broke down and wept last night as she told how she fears being killed by a death squad if she is sent back to lawless Zimbabwe.

Inconsolable Gamu, 18, revealed her heartbreak has been made even worse after she was turned down for a return to the show yesterday as a “wild card” contestant thanks to a bureaucratic immigration wrangle.

[...]

In dramatic scenes aired last Sunday, Gamu was axed despite a flawless performance while rivals Katie Waissel and Cher Lloyd, who both fluffed their songs, were put through.

[...]

“Everything is in tatters for me,” says Gamu, who arrived in the UK from unstable and violence-torn Zimbabwe five years ago... They will punish us if we go back, our lives are in ­danger.”

[...]

Gamu now blames herself for drawing the ­attention of immigration chiefs to her family, who they want deported from the quiet ­Scottish town of ­Tillicoultry, which they now call home.

“I wish I’d never entered the X Factor because if I hadn’t been on it my ­family would be safe,  and ­because of me, now   they aren’t.”

[Mirror]

What Did We Win In The Cold War?

Here are these Romanians getting ahead of us. Damn it. 100,000 tons. Where is the U.S. in this action? NOWHERE.

And look at this...MORE ecological horrors. Says right there, this is "but one" of them. That means they can RE-invest and make out like BANDITS.

Abandoned mines in Romania leach waters contaminated by many rivers. A Hungarian chemical plant produces more than 100,000 tons of toxic substances in a year. Soil in eastern Slovakia is contaminated with cancer-producing PCBs.

The flood of toxic sludge in Hungary is but one of the ecological horrors that lurk in Eastern Europe 20 years after the collapse of the Iron Curtain.

[Sun-Sentinel]

U.S. "Open for Business" - Planet Earth Needs to Stop Whining

As I understand it all of this oil has already evaporated or is resting at the bottom of the ocean? What's the problem? They have NEW RULES? You tell me what some Washington douchebag knows that these INDUSTRY LEADERS don't?

A great man once said, "the business of America is business." It's one thing to be concerned, but if we continue to put people out of jobs because of oil spills, what's next? How are we going to get this country back on track?

It's like a cycle. First there's an oil spill and people lose their jobs. Then they clean up the oil spill and the people get their jobs back. If you lost your business because of the oil spill they pay you for that! What am I missing? How long are the treehuggers going to milk this thing? Glad to see the Obama people getting on the stick here.

The U.S. is back in the deepwater drilling business. The question now is when work will resume. The Obama Administration, under heavy pressure from the oil industry and Gulf states and with elections nearing, lifted the moratorium it imposed last April in the wake of the disastrous BP oil
spill.

The ban had been scheduled to expire Nov. 30, but Interior Secretary Ken Salazar said Tuesday he was moving up the date because new rules imposed after the spill had reduced the risk of another catastrophic blowout. Industry leaders warily waited for details of those rules, saying the moratorium
wouldn't truly be lifted until then.

"The policy position we are articulating today is that "we are open for business," Salazar declared.

[Yahoo]

Scene From America: Modest Inheritance = Homelessness

The Captain thinks 60 G's would buy a pretty nice cardboard box, no?

A disabled mother living on federal assistance could very well end up homeless after inheriting money from her father, who died last year.

The sum, $60,000, is not enough to sustain the 55-year-old north Spokane woman, but it is enough to cause her to lose the federal housing subsidy that allows her to live in a duplex apartment with her two teenage children.

[...]

In order to maintain her SSI benefits, as well as her eligibility for Medicaid, the state and federal health insurance for the poor, Harding’s Spokane attorney Cheryl Mitchell established for her a special-needs trust, which was approved in November by Superior Court Judge Michael Price.

[...]

After paying her legal fees, trustee fees and other distributions on Harding’s behalf, about $30,000 remains in her trust.

However, the Housing Authority does not recognize the protections and counts every dollar distributed from it as income. Persons receiving Section 8 vouchers must spend 30 percent of their income on housing. The federal subsidy covers the rest.

In March, the housing authority advised Harding that her share of her $800 rent would increase from $122 to $438 a month and that if the trust distributions continued, she would lose her rental assistance entirely.

[...]

If Harding is terminated from the program, Mitchell said, it is possible she will never again receive housing assistance. She will not be able to afford fair market rent, and she will most likely become homeless.

[The Spokesman-Review]

Cop's Retirement Starting Off on Wrong Foot

On the bright side, the potential pedial problems the officer might suffer in his golden years have been halved. With the money he'll save on orthopedic inserts he should be able to afford top-shelf wood polish for his peg leg.

GROVELAND TWP. — An Oakland County Sheriff’s deputy had to have his leg amputated below the knee after a traffic accident that occurred following his retirement party.

[...]

“It’s very, very sad,” said Sheriff Michael Bouchard, “especially on a day that should have been a celebration of his career. “We’re doing all we can to help him and his family.”

Sheriff’s officials said the accident happened the same day as Palmer’s last day, celebrating his 28 years on the job, police said.

[...]

Another motorist heading north fell asleep at the wheel, drifted into the other northbound lane and struck Palmer, Michigan State Police said.

[...]

Sheriff’s officials said Palmer is in good spirits despite the accident and surgery.

[Daily Tribune]

Did I Say Deadly? Sorry, I Meant Harmless.

The Captain supposes this is better than being told you're perfectly healthy only to drop dead 6 months later. Then again, maybe not.

A BRITISH man sold all his belongings - including his dog - after he was wrongly informed he had just six months to live.

Malcolm McMahon, 55, from Erdington, central England, was advised to get his possessions in order after being diagnosed with severe liver cancer in February last year, the Birmingham Mail reported.

He gave away his Staffordshire Bull Terrier, put his four-bedroom home up for sale and sold some of his most precious belongings, including family heirlooms, in order to provide a legacy to his relatives.

Mr McMahon claims the same doctor who gave him a terminal diagnosis then reversed his conclusion three months later, after further examinations showed that blemishes on an ultrasound scan of his liver were harmless.

By that time, Mr McMahon had lost all his belongings. The false alarm also caused severe emotional stress to his girlfriend and relatives, who were already suffering after the death of his mother and brother to lung cancer in recent years.

[Herald Sun] [Birmingham Mail]

Elderly Britons' Bondage Dungeon Shut Down After One Measly Death

Chains sometimes get too tight. These things happen. Is this any reason to arrest law abiding retirees who are trying to supplement their insufficient pensions?

AN ELDERLY couple who were running a bondage business from their home when a client died during a sex game have spoken of their 11-month nightmare after being arrested on suspicion of murder.

Police quizzed Colin and Ann Richardson after 61-year-old jeweller Lionel Webster choked to death when a padlocked chain around his neck became too tight.

[...]

Mr and Mrs Richardson, who live next to Barlaston First School and charged clients £150-an-hour, were arrested after the tragedy on October 26 last year.

During the session, father-of-two Mr Webster had dressed as a military prisoner in an orange boiler suit as Mrs Richardson pretended she was his superior officer.

Mrs Richardson, aged 68, of Broughton Crescent, said: "To be arrested on suspicion of murder and kept in a police cell for hours was frightening. It was the worst experience of my life."

[...]

Mr Richardson, aged 75, said: "We haven't done anything since Lionel's death. We couldn't face it."

Mr Richardson today reassured parents that the couple's adult interests are no danger to children at the school.

Very reassuring!

[This Is Staffordshire]

Millions Doomed, Wall Street Sees Silver Lining

There's a bright side to what's going on in America today, and we are damn lucky to have these bright folks on Wall Street working overtime with the government to help us solve our problems. If these people see light at the end of the tunnel you better help start digging or you're going to be left behind when we're all rich again.

First off, what is everybody worried about? For years there have been millions of people "out of work who have stopped looking for jobs." They're called BUMS. Stop worrying about this crap right now. You can see with the plan outlined below that things are well in hand.

The government is going to drive down interest rates so everybody will be able to borrow and spend like crazy. Even a day old moron could see that once everyone starts spending all this borrowed money that will help all these unemployed whiners because this will provide the "boost" to propel the economy back into the stratosphere. What our economy needs is for you to get off your ass and start borrowing and spending more, and the problem is everybody is scared and sitting on their hands. "Oh I might lose my job so I have to hold onto my money." This kind of worrywart thinking is what's burying this country alive in negativity. In my day when people didn't borrow and spend enough you shot a few of them and then the rest came around in a hurry.

Follow the plan. Borrow and spend. It's your duty. Look at how Wall Street reacted to this plan! You think these guys went to Harvard to get stupid?

There are now 14.8 million people officially unemployed in the United States, and even that figure doesn't capture the suffering. People who are out of work who have stopped looking for jobs are not counted as unemployed.

Adding those people plus others who are working part-time but would prefer full-time jobs, nearly 27 million are "underemployed" - 17.1% of American adults, up from 16.7% in August and close to a record.

The persistent jobs crisis makes it all but certain the Federal Reserve will act at its Nov. 1 and 2 meeting to try to rejuvenate the economy. The Fed will likely buy billions more in government debt to further drive down rates on mortgages, corporate loans and other debt. The idea is that even cheaper loans might get Americans to start spending and boost the economy.

That prospect lifted stocks on Wall Street. The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above 11,000 for the first time since May.

No Guts, No Glory

Here's part of our problem. A lot of people will look at this and say, "good thing we have sane leaders that didn't follow through on the nuclear option." I say, what is the point of all of this "rehearsing?" What is it a freakin' Broadway show? It's all a big tease. 60 years is a loooong drumroll. For my entire life we've been ready to drop the big one on these guys and we've just been sitting around "planning" and "threatening." You would have thought we would have gotten it over with by accident by now. Couldn't ONE pilot have hit the wrong button on the dashboard and done the right thing in all that time?

And is the world a better place because we did NOT drop the bomb on North Korea? Today we're getting the payback - we didn't drop the bomb and now they are going to say our "practicing" and "rehearsing" gave them the right to develop their OWN atom bombs to defend themselves. The nerve. Wah wah wah you're threatening us. Look at all the crap we're getting and we were only REHEARSING. Doesn't seem fair.

At least "all our options" are still on the table, as they have been for the last 60 years or so, just waiting for the right moment to finally say, "tonight's the night to blast them!"

From the 1950's Pentagon to today's Obama Administration, the United States has repeatedly pondered, planned and threatened the use of nuclear weapons against North Korea, according to declassified and other U.S. documents released in this 60th anniversary year of the Korean War.

Air Force bombers flew nuclear rehearsal runs over North Korea's capital during the war. In the late 1960's, nuclear armed U.S. warplanes stood by in South Korea on 15-minute alert to strike the north.

Just this past April, issuing a U.S. Nuclear Posture Review, Defense Secretary Robert Gates said "all options are on the table" for dealing with Pyongyang, meaning U.S. nuclear strikes were not ruled out.

The stream of new revelations about the U.S. nuclear planning further fills in a picture of what North Korea calls the "increasing nuclear threat of the U.S.," which it cites as the reason for building it's own atom bomb program - as a deterrent.

Let's not forget how pretty these clouds can be.

[Yahoo]

People Are Bummed Out

Came across this...a bit of a shock. People that live near the Gulf of Mexico are a little bummed out. I'm glad I'm far enough away from this to view it with the proper level of indifference. This Emotional Health Index thing has me interested though. Can you bet on it? Going up or down? I would be betting on down.

I wonder how much they had to spend to figure this out. Would have been great if the results came back and said that the people were HAPPIER since the spill. "Bring it on!" "It will take more oil than this to bring ME down."

Depression is more commonly diagnosed for people living in Gulf Coast-facing counties. Medical professionals report an increase of more than 25 percent following the BP oil spill, a U.S. survey indicates. The Emotional Health Index, one of the six sub-indexes that make up the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index - which tracks U.S. well-being - indicates residents of counties facing the Gulf of Mexico experienced a decline in their overall emotional health following the BP oil spill.

[ThirdAge.com]

When Will I Die?

I understand that retirement planning is hard, but...this is a new wrinkle. In addition to figuring out how much I have to save, I have to figure out how long I'm going to live? How the fuck am I supposed to do that? Also seems to be suggesting that I work longer to make more money and get a bigger Social Security check. Well...duh! I could work until I'm 150 and make even more! I am going to handle preparing for retirement among more conventional lines and try to work long enough to drop dead on the job.

Retirement planning is complicated, beginning with the decision about when to begin taking your Social Security benefits. On one hand, if you need the money and don't expect to live into your 80s, it is tempting to take Social Security as early as possible — at age 62 — to benefit from the income stream. On the other hand, you can increase your monthly payment considerably by waiting until age 70. Most people underestimate how long they are going to live.

I'd hate to think I was going to live too long.

Keystone Cops, ctd.

The Captain hopes Osama bin Laden is not a regular reader of Daily Downers as he'd hate to alert him to a soft target. 

As the chopper hovered low over trees at the show in Aachen, Germany, the powerful downdraught caused by the rotors snapped off heavy branches which plunged 30 feet onto the audience.

Three children and three adults needed hospital treatment after the failed stunt, admitted a red-faced police spokesman.

"They were supposed to be showing us how quickly they could abseil down a rope in a terrorist situation. But when they landed, there was chaos down there with people running everywhere and huge chunks of tree dropping out of the sky."

[Daily Star]