Thursday, December 1, 2011

Man's Best Friend Is An Enemy Preparing For Global Conquest

Months ago, maybe even a year ago, I came across a story on Nazis and talking dogs and posted here about it. Once again, Daily Downers is ahead of the curve in predicting the evolving apocalyptic disaster that will soon engulf us all.

This is a story I haven't seen in the mainstream press. What's fascinating is that the author feels compelled to offer an explanation, even though he has NO IDEA what this DOG was thinking. How could he? Says, the dog "was apparently excited to join his owner in the marsh" and jumped up and stepped on the gun, causing it to discharge.

How the hell does this guy know the dog was EXCITED? This happens all the time, where writers assume they know what PEOPLE are thinking. Now it's DOG telepathy. Come on.

I'm reading this and I have a different interpetation. The dog was PISSED. He's out in a CANOE in a SHALLOW MARSH. My dog likes to sleep in, preferably next to a heater or on top of a blanket. So I think THIS dog said to himself "you know what, fuck this guy, I've had it with his bullshit." The dog has probably seen the guy shoot this gun before and knew exactly what he was doing. The dog can't pick up the gun and AIM it, but it was laying there, pointed at his owner's ass, and the dog figured, "this is the best shot I can get, so I'm going for it." Ka-boom!

Trust me, all these mutts are slowly gathering skills and intelligence and soon we'll be faced with an army of armed, talking dogs who know how to use weapons and then we are SCREWED. If you want to buy into this "man's best friend" line of crap you're welcome to it. But don't say I didn't warn you. AGAIN!
Dogs are man's best friend. Except, you know, when they're shooting a gun at you.

And strangely enough, that's what really happened to a hapless dog owner in Brigham City, Utah. The man in question--a 46-year-old hunting enthusiast who is not named in local news reports on the incident--got a behind-full of birdshot courtesy of his loyal canine companion when he was out duck hunting over the weekend.

KSL.com reports the man and his dog were traveling in a canoe-like boat when the man stepped out into a shallow marsh to set up some decoys. His left his 12-gauge shotgun resting across the bow of the boat, according to Box Elder County Sheriff's Deputy Kevin Potter.

That's when the dog "did something to make the gun discharge," Potter said. "I don't know if the safety device was on. It's not impossible the dog could have taken it off safety."

Apparently excited to join his owner in the marsh, the dog jumped up on the boat's bow and stepped on the gun. The gun was fired, hitting the man in the buttocks with 27 pellets of birdshot.

The man promptly called 9-1-1, and is now reportedly recovering. Potter said that thanks to a well-positioned pair of waders--the hip-length rubber boots he was wearing at the time--the dog owner was able to avoid a more serious gunshot wound.

[yahoo! news]

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