And So It Begins

As long time fans (fan?) of this website know, we have been predicting the zombie apocalypse since we started posting here a few years ago. I actually waited a few days on this one, and I had to contact all of my friends (friend?) in Miami to get the local story. I had a feeling the "official" story would be a load of crap. Sure enough the police and government officials are already engaged in a cover up. Typically I don't write about stories where someone actually dies. That's usually Captain Bringdown's (semi-retired) beat. But since this one confirms Daily Downers as the "go to" blog/site for accurate predictions on our dismal future I have no choice but to cover this one.

This story talks about LSD, and other stories have talked about other drugs like "bath salts." Stuff I've never heard of. Come on. Here's a picture of a guy on LSD. These guys don't eat other people. They just don't. A little music on a sunny day in Miami and this guy is looking at a butterfly for six hours and playing an air raid guitar solo. If drugs made you do this don't you think this would've happened already?

I'll tell you what else is great, if you go to this link there's a video, and before the video there's a commercial for mayonnaise or something. So for some people this story is an opportunity. Eat food and not people. A solid message.

This face eating guy either became a zombie in some way we don't know about or more likely escaped from a government lab or island where they keep the zombies. Like they keep the aliens in the desert in Roswell, NM. Now we know that one of those islands off the Florida coast is probably a full fledged zombie campground. The first thing I'm trying to figure out is what is the bigger threat? Zombies or aliens? I'm going to go with zombies. The aliens probably have advanced weapons to vaporize us. Relatively painless. The zombie thing is going to hurt. Badly. Buy water, food and guns. You're welcome.

A naked man was shot dead by Miami police as he chewed at the face of another naked man. The circumstances of the horrific attack are still unknown – and the victim remains in hospital with grave injuries. The gruesome drama unfolded on Saturday off the city's MacArthur Causeway, with the aftermath captured on film by a Miami Herald surveillance camera.

Witness Larry Vega told WSVN-Fox 7 he saw a man biting the victim’s face.

He said: “I told him to get off and the other guy just kept eating the other guy away.”

The cyclist notified police, who ordered the man to stop. Vega added: “The guy just stood, his head up like that, with pieces of flesh in his mouth. And he growled.” The officer fired, but the man continued to chew, prompting him to continue shooting, eventually killing him. Police say the attacker may have been suffering from a drug-induced mania which causes the body to heat up, causing some users to strip off, the Miami Herald reported.

Armando Aguilar of the Miami Fraternal Order of Police suggested the drug may have been a new form of LSD. He told NBC 6: "Seventy-five to 80 percent of his face was missing, and he was actually swallowing pieces of the man's face."

[Huffington Post]