Richest Guy Says All Is Well

This guy is going to be rich one way or another, right? So how valuable is his opinion? Seems kind of stupid to me. And why should he care if I'm optimistic or not? He's winning if I'm optimistic or if I'm throwing up. It doesn't matter.

It's not enough that he has every dime, he has to come on like he's fucking Confucius. Why can't Warren Buffett keep his mouth shut and leave me alone? He has all the money he has to go on and on about it. "I'm rich and blah, blah, blah, you would be rich too but blah, blah, blah. Don't borrow money. We'll all be rich someday." A regular Vince Lombardi. How am I going to live without borrowing money? Come on.

"Don't let reality spook you." Tell it to the family that just got thrown out of their house. What a jerk. Billions of dollars. He has his optimism but he's holding on to his real cash. Brave man.

Billionaire Warren Buffett wants Americans to be optimistic about the country's future but wary about borrowing money and the games public companies play with profit numbers they report.

Buffett said in his annual letter to Berkshire Hathaway shareholders Saturday that he still believes America's best days are ahead.

"Commentators today often talk of 'great uncertainty.' But think back, for example, to December 6, 1941, October 18, 1987 and September 10, 2001," Buffett wrote, referring to the days before the Pearl Harbor attack, a stock market crash and terrorist attacks in the U.S. "No matter how serene today may be, tomorrow is always uncertain. Don't let that reality spook you."

He said a housing recovery will likely begin within the next year, which would help the economy and several Berkshire subsidiaries, including ones that make carpets and bricks.

[Associated Press]

Banks Shocked To Learn Breaking The Law Can Hurt Business

This reads to me like the banks are trying to get out of being held accountable for what they do, since if they get in trouble and have to pay fines that could make them go broke. If you catch them and fine them, they will go broke, so don't catch them and fine them. Uh, yeah, that sounds cool. Is this an apology? The average guy knows that if you break the law you could lose your business. I guess this is why average guys aren't bankers. You don't see many bankers bowling, do you? Well that's what average guys do, so I rest my case.

And this is one area, foreclosures, where it was unanimous. EVERY state is going after them. The banks were throwing people out of their houses and now that it turns out they shouldn't have done that they should get a break. Like the break they were giving the people they were throwing out. That means no break, ok?

It would be great if one of the attorney general guys would say "hey, you know what, if paying a fine makes you go broke, we'll forget the whole thing." And then the bank guy would say, "really?" And the attorney general guy would laugh and say "NO! I was just kidding, we're going to nail you to the wall."

Please God let me see this happen and I'll stop asking for money.

Probes by state attorneys general and other government agencies into banks' foreclosure practices carry the risk of fines and other major costs, according to regulatory filings from three of the country's biggest banks.

Revelations that major U.S. banks rammed through hundreds of foreclosures daily without giving many borrowers a fair shot at keeping their homes triggered investigations from all 50 states' attorneys general and from state and federal regulators. They also sparked pressure from lawmakers and class-action lawsuits.

Bank of America Corp., Citigroup Inc. and Wells Fargo & Co. called out possible financial repercussions in annual filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission Friday. None of them provided any details on how much was at risk.

"Those investigations and any irregularities that might be found in our foreclosure processes, along with any remedial steps taken in response to governmental investigations or to our own internal assessment, could have a material adverse effect on our financial condition and results of operations," Bank of America said.

[Associated Press]

Wah Wah Wah I Have To Pay Taxes O Wah Wah Wah

I rarely get political but here goes. This whole thing is clearly a tax break for rich people. It's at the expense of everyone in New York. The value of New York City real estate is through the roof. So why give anyone buying it a break?

Because as anyone who has ever done business on any planet knows, the buyers immediately start whining about TAXES. As in "wah, wah, wah I have to pay taxes."

Well FUCK OFF, and I NEVER curse in this space but tonight I am pissed. Come ON. You can't sell real estate in MANHATTAN without giving them a tax write off? COME ON!!! Hey you know what taxes do? They repair the bridges and I wish some of these complaining jerks could be consolidated onto one rotten bridge and they could all plunge off together whining about the quality of the bridge that the higher taxes could have fixed. So there!

Let them say no and move somewhere else. $900 million in breaks to these rich bastards. Wow, is all. If the taxes are the difference between you buying here in New York City I think it's fair to say get lost. On behalf of the taxpayers of New York, who are ultimately paying MORE than their fair share, courtesy of this kiss-the-rich-guy's-ass-because-he's-buying-a-NEW-apartment policy, which exists because I LIVE IN OUTER SPACE AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING, I'm begging for a revision. PLEASE!

As a New York native I am upset. Besides myself. If you were here right now you would see a second me, besides myself. I'm not kidding!

Nothing against A-Rod.

That's a lie. I hate the Yankees. Really, a lot. Sorry.

Yankees star Alex Rodriguez will pay virtually no property tax for a $6 million apartment he is buying on the upper West Side.

Rodriguez will be billed around $1,200 this year in real estate tax for his 3,000-square-foot, five-bedroom penthouse with spectacular views of the Hudson River.

Over the next 10 years Rodriguez and his fellow residents will continue to receive huge discounts on their tax, a city housing official said.

For Rodriguez, a full tax bill would be at least $60,000 annually, the latest city assessment records show.

A spokeswoman for Extell, the company that built the 2-year-old luxury Rushmore Towers near the West Side Highway, declined to discuss the taxes on the slugger's new bachelor pad.

But the only two penthouses that went into contract this month at the Rushmore, each of which was listed at more than $6 million, have been assessed at a little over $100 per month in taxes, one real estate expert told the Daily News.

So how is it possible that tens of thousands of ordinary city residents struggle each year with soaring tax bills for their co-ops, condos and homes, while the Yankees' $33-million-a-year star gets to pay next to nothing?

Well, Rodriguez and many other well-heeled New Yorkers have learned to take advantage of a little-known tax abatement program that has existed for decades.

The politicians and real estate insiders call it the "421A" program. It grants as much as a 98% percent tax abatement for up to 25 years to condo owners in newly built housing.

The bulk of the 421A benefit has gone to luxury housing in Manhattan, though a few reforms by City Hall and the Legislature in 2007 at least required developers to build 20% affordable housing to qualify for the tax abatement.

This year alone, the 421A program will cost our city more than $900 million in lost revenues, the Independent Budget Office says.

That's money that could prevent layoffs of firefighters and teachers. That could fund senior citizen centers and pay for after-school programs.

You haven't heard much about this, but the 421A program ended in December for any new construction. But the city's powerful real estate industry is determined to get it renewed and even get it expanded. Brooklyn City Councilman Brad Lander has been leading the fight against that renewal.

It's too much of a giveaway to developers, Lander says, especially since there's already a glut of luxury housing in this town.

The developers want to link any extension of rent stabilization laws for tenants, which the Legislature must vote on by June, to a deal on extending the 421A tax abatement for builders.

The industry hopes Gov. Cuomo, who made a name for himself a long time ago as an advocate for affordable housing, will take their side.

[New York Daily News]

Holy Smokes

Some might call this priest's rescue of a burning old man a miracle. Should the Captain catch fire at the age of 89, however, he'd much prefer to go ahead and get on with the whole ashes to ashes business.

A church regular, 89-year-old Vito Badalamente is now fighting for his life, after catching fire near the altar of Holy Family Catholic Church early Thursday morning. Nassau County Police Detective Sgt. James Skopek said his clothes caught fire while lighting candles in the back of the church.

[...]

“We are not sure how, but his clothing seemed to have caught fire while he was lighting a votive candle by the blessed mother statue,” Pastor Gerard Gentleman said told McLogan.

The senior citizen had collapsed near the sacristy with his clothes ablaze as Father Reid sprang into action.

“He was awake and aware. He was not communicative, just groaning. It was a little scary,” Father Reid said.

Badalamente was rushed to the burn unit at Nassau University Medical Center in critical condition. His stricken family was his side. Sixty percent of his body was scorched by the flames.

[CBS New York]

You Should Probably Eschew Chewing on Bullets

This man decided to bite the bullet, but the bullet bit back.

East Tulsa- An man is recovering after injuring his face at his home last night. Police still trying to figure out if it was an accident or something more.

Police were first called to the man's home on 2400 block of South 128th East Avenue around 10:30 last night to reports of a shooting. When they got there they found no shooting but the victim with a serious gash on his face. He told police a shell had bounced off of his garage floor and hit him in the face. Police think he might have been chewing on a firecracker or bullet when it exploded. They are still trying to figure out what the truth is.

UPDATE: Tulsa police believe this was an accident. ER doctors recovered a bullet from the man's sinus cavity.

[FOX23.com]

Savings Tip For A Busy Executive - Just Assume It's On Tape

How great is it that News Corp. paid $10.75 million to shut this off and here it is in today's paper. How pissed would you be if you paid out all that cash and here's the story anyway. What a waste!

One point of the story is that it's bad that Ailes tried to influence things, but this Regan woman takes the cake.

First off, Ailes says, "hey honey, can you bullshit them for me here?" And she goes, "awlright." And she does it. But she tapes the call! Reminds me of Louis Armstrong. "What a wonderful world." Everybody has a tape recorder by the bed next to the phone. Standard equipment.

"Can you hang on a sec, I have to clear my throat. Ahem. Okay, go on please, you were saying?"

Between Ailes and Regan there's only one set of balls. You go girl!

It was an incendiary allegation — and a mystery of great intrigue in the media world: After the publishing powerhouse Judith Regan was fired by HarperCollins in 2006, she claimed that a senior executive at its parent company, News Corporation, had encouraged her to lie to federal investigators two years before.

The investigators had been vetting Bernard B. Kerik, the former New York City police commissioner who had been nominated to become homeland security secretary and who had had an affair with Ms. Regan.

The goal of the News Corporation executive, according to Ms. Regan, was to keep the affair quiet and protect the then-nascent presidential aspirations of former Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, Mr. Kerik’s mentor and supporter.

But Ms. Regan never revealed the identity of the executive, even as her allegation made headlines and she brought a wrongful termination suit against HarperCollins and News Corporation.

But now, affidavits filed in a separate lawsuit reveal the identity of the previously unnamed executive: Roger E. Ailes, chairman of Fox News.

What is more, the documents say that Ms. Regan taped the telephone call from Mr. Ailes in which Mr. Ailes discusses her relationship with Mr. Kerik.

It is unclear whether the existence of the tape played a role in News Corporation’s decision to move quickly to settle Ms. Regan’s lawsuit, paying her $10.75 million in a confidential settlement reached two months after she filed it in 2007.

[New York Times]

We Have Met the Enemy and He is Us

When US generals start turning their wartime propaganda techniques on US senators, you know victory is right around the corner.

The U.S. Army illegally ordered a team of soldiers specializing in "psychological operations" to manipulate visiting American senators into providing more troops and funding for the war, Rolling Stone has learned – and when an officer tried to stop the operation, he was railroaded by military investigators.

The orders came from the command of Lt. Gen. William Caldwell, a three-star general in charge of training Afghan troops – the linchpin of U.S. strategy in the war. Over a four-month period last year, a military cell devoted to what is known as "information operations" at Camp Eggers in Kabul was repeatedly pressured to target visiting senators and other VIPs who met with Caldwell. When the unit resisted the order, arguing that it violated U.S. laws prohibiting the use of propaganda against American citizens, it was subjected to a campaign of retaliation.

"My job in psy-ops is to play with people’s heads, to get the enemy to behave the way we want them to behave," says Lt. Colonel Michael Holmes, the leader of the IO unit, who received an official reprimand after bucking orders. "I’m prohibited from doing that to our own people. When you ask me to try to use these skills on senators and congressman, you’re crossing a line."

The list of targeted visitors was long, according to interviews with members of the IO team and internal documents obtained by Rolling Stone. Those singled out in the campaign included senators John McCain, Joe Lieberman, Jack Reed, Al Franken and Carl Levin; Rep. Steve Israel of the House Appropriations Committee; Adm. Mike Mullen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff; the Czech ambassador to Afghanistan; the German interior minister, and a host of influential think-tank analysts.

The incident offers an indication of just how desperate the U.S. command in Afghanistan is to spin American civilian leaders into supporting an increasingly unpopular war. According to the Defense Department’s own definition, psy-ops – the use of propaganda and psychological tactics to influence emotions and behaviors – are supposed to be used exclusively on "hostile foreign groups." Federal law forbids the military from practicing psy-ops on Americans, and each defense authorization bill comes with a "propaganda rider" that also prohibits such manipulation. "Everyone in the psy-ops, intel, and IO community knows you’re not supposed to target Americans," says a veteran member of another psy-ops team who has run operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. "It’s what you learn on day one."

[...]

Congressional delegations – known in military jargon as CODELs – are no strangers to spin. U.S. lawmakers routinely take trips to the frontlines in Iraq and Afghanistan, where they receive carefully orchestrated briefings and visit local markets before posing for souvenir photos in helmets and flak jackets. Informally, the trips are a way for generals to lobby congressmen and provide first-hand updates on the war. But what Caldwell was looking for was more than the usual background briefings on senators. According to Holmes, the general wanted the IO team to provide a "deeper analysis of pressure points we could use to leverage the delegation for more funds." The general’s chief of staff also asked Holmes how Caldwell could secretly manipulate the U.S. lawmakers without their knowledge. "How do we get these guys to give us more people?" he demanded. "What do I have to plant inside their heads?"

[...]

As for the operation targeting U.S. senators, there is no way to tell what, if any, influence it had on American policy. What is clear is that in January 2011, Caldwell’s command asked the Obama administration for another $2 billion to train an additional 70,000 Afghan troops – an initiative that will already cost U.S. taxpayers more than $11 billion this year. Among the biggest boosters in Washington to give Caldwell the additional money? Sen. Carl Levin, one of the senators whom Holmes had been ordered to target.

The whole story is worth your time, the Captain highly recommends clicking through to read it in its entirety.

[Rolling Stone]

Another Edge For The Walking Dead

Anyone walking down the street knows what this is about. These cell phone yakkers are idiots. The idiocy was there, initially, but it's exacerbated by the cell phone use. It makes them think they are important and ignites the rudeness centers in the brain. So clear.

My hope is that the cell phone yakkers will march INTO the zombies when they come (they will be brainwashed) and it will only be us non-cell phone addicts that will live and be able to escape the walking dead.

The heavy brainwash element is not addressed at all here but if you read between the lines that's what they are starting to drive at, in a subtle way. Over 5, 10, 15 years, they will have you in their clutches and march you right into the zombies. Read between the lines man.

Researchers from the National Institutes of Health have found that less than an hour of cellphone use can speed up brain activity in the area closest to the phone antenna, raising new questions about the health effects of low levels of radiation emitted from cellphones.

The researchers, led by Dr. Nora D. Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, urged caution in interpreting the findings because it is not known whether the changes, which were seen in brain scans, have any meaningful effect on a person’s overall health.

But the study, published Wednesday in The Journal of the American Medical Association, is among the first and largest to document that the weak radio-frequency signals from cellphones have the potential to alter brain activity.

“The study is important because it documents that the human brain is sensitive to the electromagnetic radiation that is emitted by cellphones,” Dr. Volkow said. “It also highlights the importance of doing studies to address the question of whether there are — or are not — long-lasting consequences of repeated stimulation, of getting exposed over five, 10 or 15 years.”

[The New York Times]

America Wakes Up To The Obvious, Speculators Thrilled

Thank God we are staying away from solar power. That is the key. We will drill our way out of this eventually, it's just a matter of when. I'm noticing that Libya is the 15th largest exporter of crude? You know what, maybe we can let that slide. What do you think? We are like, the first largest importer of American oil into America, so I don't understand how everyone is so bent out of shape and losing all their money and shit.

I like the idea of Gadhafi "clinging to power" and especially "shedding his last drop of blood," and I think that has Hollywood written all over it. Maybe Robert Downey Junior could play Ghadhafi (and is that really how you spell it?) and do that thing like he did in "Tropic Thunder" where he changed color? That would be cool.

I also notice that only the eastern half of Libya has fallen apart, so the western half would only be probably the 25th largest exporter of crude so these stock market guys should cool out, although I am sure those bastards are making out on this. Some of that does trickle down but you still have a right to be pissed.

Stocks had their worst drop this year and oil prices surged Tuesday after Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi clung to power in the face of mounting protests.

The capital of the oil-rich country has plunged into chaos. That's causing to concerns that the unrest that has already toppled dictators in two of Libya's neighbors, Tunisia and Egypt, could spread to other countries in the region like Iran and disrupt the flow of oil.

Oil prices jumped 6 percent to $95 a barrel. Libya is the world's 15th largest exporter of crude, accounting for 2 percent of global daily output. It also has the largest oil reserves in Africa.

The Dow Jones industrial average sank 178.46 points, or 1.4 percent, to close at 12,212.79. It was the biggest drop since Nov. 16. Bond prices rose as investors sought safety.

Gadhafi vowed to fight to his "last drop of blood" and roared at his supporters to take to the streets against protesters demanding his ouster. A violent crackdown in Tripoli has resulted in wild shooting and bodies in the streets. Protesters backed by defecting army units claimed control over the eastern half of Libya's Mediterranean coast.

[Associated Press]

Popcorn Eater Popped

A loud crunch can pack a deadly punch.

A man was shot dead at a Latvian cinema after eating his popcorn too loudly during a screen of Black Swan, according to reports.

Police said they had arrested a 27-year-old man suspected of shooting a 42-year-old fellow audience member who later died of his wounds.

The conflict took place as the credits rolled during a screen of the Oscar-nominated film "Black Swan", according to police in the Baltic state.

Witnesses told the Latvian news agency Leta that it arose over how loudly the deceased man was eating his popcorn.

[Telegraph]

Cyber-Stalking -- There's an App for That

Do you get tired of hitting the "refresh" button several hundred times per day while monitoring the Facebook page of your one true love who is stupidly dating someone else? Well, good news, there's a new application out that will do the stalking for you automatically.

"Breakup Notifier" will keep tabs on the object of your obsession and will instantly send you an e-mail to notify you if he/she changes his/her relationship status to "single." Your plan to swoop in and take advantage of your loved one's emotional fragility just got a whole lot easier.

1. Login with Facebook
2. Choose the friends you're interested in who are taken.
3. Get an email whenever the relationship status of your chosen friends changes. Yes, it's that easy.

[Breakup Notifier]

Cigarette Butt Refrigerator Magnets

Pack of 3 only $15! Buy yours today.

[Amron Exptl.]

McGuillotine

The Captain is lovin' it.

A group of anti-McDonald's extremists have chosen terrorist-like tactics in order to get their message across. First they kidnapped a statue of the fast food franchise's iconic figure, Ronald McDonald.

[...]

Demanding answers, the group gave McDonald's a deadline to respond, after which they said that Ronald would be executed by guillotine. The Consumerist reports that two members of the group were arrested and the statue was rescued before the execution could take place but the remaining members still beheaded a replica.

[...]

McDonald's spokespeople issued a statement saying, "McDonald's is always available to engage in constructive conversations with our customers, stakeholders and the media. This stunt is in very poor taste."

[Time]

Hard Sell

Being a door-to-door salesman is one of the most challenging jobs you can find. Sometimes you need to gently prod potential customers in order to reach your sales quota, and sometimes that gentle prodding takes the form of threatening to crush the potential customer's head like a grape.

A cold-calling salesman threatened to fine - and even kill - vulnerable pensioners if they didn't buy new windows.

The bogus 'businessman' told Paul Shipman, 68, he would put his head in a vice and watch him 'bleed to death' because he wouldn't buy double glazing from his firm.

[...]

Yesterday Leicestershire trading standards confirmed the salesman is a conman who is deliberately targeting elderly people.

[...]

Mr Shipman, a retired engineer from south Leicestershire, was contacted by the man on January 25.

'He threatened to put my head in a vice and watch me bleed to death,' he told MailOnline yesterday.

Fake threats: The cold-caller told one woman she would be fined unless she bought double-glazing.

'In the end, he said he'd come round and kill me. I was concerned about other people being targeted and called trading standards and the police.'

[...]

David Bull, head of Leicestershire County Council trading standards, branded the conman 'sick'.

He said: 'It is sickening that older people are being threatened with fictitious taxes or fines, the loss of benefits or even death.

[Daily Mail]

Dead Fish Tell No Tales

Why couldn't these teen burglars just cut out the tongues of these goldfish instead of killing them with condiments?

US police say a teenage burglar told them he poisoned and killed three goldfish as he "didn't want to leave any witnesses".

The 16-year-old boy was one of three teens facing burglary charges after a break-in at a home in Arlington Heights, Chicago.

Sgt Mike Hernandez told the Daily Herald: "As a matter of fact, it's a little disturbing. According to the police report, he looked at the fish tank and said: 'We can't leave any witnesses'."

[...]

They allegedly pried open a door and stole a video game system, CD player, 30 video games, 30 DVDs, an air gun, jewellery and a safe.

When the residents returned home, they found hot sauce, mustard, ketchup and spices had been poured into their fish tank and three goldfish floating at the top.

[Orange News]

Prominent Libertarian Says Spending Tax Money to Protect Earth From Asteroid = Socialist Tyranny

As avid Daily Downers readers no doubt recall, there is a gigantic asteroid zooming in on us, scheduled to smash earth with the force of a thousand nuclear bombs in April of 2029.

Given the virtual certainty of this cataclysmic event, you'd think it would behoove the governments of the world to consider spending a few tax dollars to devise a plan to knock this mega-rock of death off course and send it careening toward one of our rival planets, right?

Well, of course you'd think that if you are a freedom-hating, immoral collectivist.

[A]t the risk of confirming Mark Kleiman in his belief that libertarians are loopy — I don’t speak for all libertarians, but I think there’s a good case to be made that taxing people to protect the Earth from an asteroid, while within Congress’s powers, is an illegitimate function of government from a moral perspective. I think it’s O.K. to violate people’s rights (e.g. through taxation) if the result is that you protect people’s rights to some greater extent (e.g. through police, courts, the military). But it’s not obvious to me that the Earth being hit by an asteroid ... violates anyone’s rights; if that’s so, then I’m not sure I can justify preventing it through taxation.

[The Volokh Conspiracy]

Winter Wonderland

We've been hearing all these horror stories about Mexico lately, with drug cartels rampaging in the streets, so if you ask me, this Canadian thing seems a little overblown.

Snowmobiles? That shit sounds enterprising. We keep talking about the spirit of this country, but when you see guys rocketing through the border on snowmobiles with haybales of weed, that's not just talking the talk, that's walking the walk.

Of course the "downer" aspect is they are trying to crush this entrepreneurial spirit. Maybe we ought to leave them alone and just go all out against Mexico? These Canadians aren't shooting anyone, at least not walking right down the middle of the street and shooting anyone. In fact conquering Mexico outright might be a good plan because it's warm down there. I would not have an interest in conquering Canadia. This winter has sucked big time.

Border Patrol agent Glenn Pickering slowed his rumbling snowmobile to a stop and eyed two trails of churned-up snow running down a riverbank.

A recent government report says the terrorist threat from Canada is greater than from Mexico, and that only 32 miles of the border is adequately patrolled.

They were snowmobile tracks leading out onto the ice of the frozen St. Lawrence River that runs between upstate New York and Canada. At night smugglers race across the ice with bags of marijuana. Pickering shielded his eyes with his hand as the wind covered the tracks; he couldn't see whether they went all the way across the border.

"There are all these islands out here, and the snowmobiles just come shooting across," Pickering said. "It's a constant battle."
This is the United States' forgotten border, where federal agents and police play cat-and-mouse with smugglers and illegal immigrants along 4,000 miles of a mostly unmarked and unfortified frontier with Canada. Unlike the southern border with Mexico, where drug-related violence has exploded in recent years, the northern border rarely makes headlines.

That changed this month after the U.S. Government Accountability Office released a report warning that the terrorist threat from Canada was higher than from Mexico because of the vast swaths of unprotected frontier. Just 32 miles of the 4,000-mile border have an acceptable level of Border Patrol security, with agents available to make on-site arrests, the report said.

[Associated Press]

Fuck Watson

The Captain warned you about the robots, did he not?

Fuck Watson, that is all for now.

Wicked Curveball

So this "Curveball" guy finally admits to throwing the US government a ... spitball? And while his story was full of more holes than a Wiffle ball, the CIA director claimed the case for war was a "slam dunk."

Nice to see M. Curveball display the appropriate humility and remorse for the consequences of his fairy tale.

Rafid Ahmed Alwan al-Janabi, codenamed Curveball by German and American intelligence officials who dealt with his claims, has told the Guardian that he fabricated tales of mobile bioweapons trucks and clandestine factories in an attempt to bring down the Saddam Hussein regime, from which he had fled in 1995.

"Maybe I was right, maybe I was not right," he said. "They gave me this chance. I had the chance to fabricate something to topple the regime. I and my sons are proud of that and we are proud that we were the reason to give Iraq the margin of democracy."

[...]

"I had a problem with the Saddam regime," he said. "I wanted to get rid of him and now I had this chance."

[...]

With the US now leaving Iraq, Janabi said he was comfortable with what he did, despite the chaos of the past eight years and the civilian death toll in Iraq, which stands at more than 100,000.

[...]

"Believe me, there was no other way to bring about freedom to Iraq. There were no other possibilities."

UPDATE: So how's that freedom in Iraq thing going, you ask? Well, they're hard at work rebuilding a monumental sculpture in Baghdad that glorifies Saddam Hussein, which is certainly an auspicious sign.

BAGHDAD — As hundreds of thousands in Egypt protested the iron rule of that country’s president, Iraq quietly began restoring a bronze fist of its former dictator, Saddam Hussein.

Without public announcement or debate, the authorities here ordered the reconstruction of one of the most audacious symbols in Baghdad of Mr. Hussein’s long, violent and oppressive rule: the Victory Arch, two enormous sets of crossed swords, clutched in hands modeled after his very own.

[...]

“We don’t want to be like Afghanistan and the Taliban and remove things like that,” Ali al-Mousawi, a spokesman for Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki, said, referring to the infamous destruction of the Buddha statues in Bamian, Afghanistan, “or to be like the Germans and remove the Berlin Wall.”

“We are a civilized people,” he added, “and this monument is a part of the memories of this country.”

[Guardian] [NYT]

Spare the Spray, Spoil the Child

Here's one way not to curry the favor of your students and their parents.

A teacher sprayed air freshener over Asian pupils she described as smelling of curry in the mornings, a tribunal heard yesterday.

Elizabeth Davies, 48, was accused of humiliating children aged from three to six by using the aerosol during nursery class.

The hearing was told she accused Bangladeshi children of smelling of onions or curry and would say: ‘There is a waft coming in from paradise.’

Mrs Davies is also accused of spraying pupils who broke wind, of washing children’s hands with disinfectant and of making those who wet themselves stand on newspaper.

[...]

Mrs Davies, a nursery school teacher for 20 years, taught at an inner-city school where more than half of her pupils were Bangladeshi.

[...]

Mother-of-two Mrs Islam said the spray was 'usually' for children who spoke English as a second language.

[...]

She said: 'He told his mother at the school gates that he had farted and that Mrs Davies had sprayed air freshener over him. He thought it was funny and he was happy and cheerful about it.'

[Daily Mail]

Love Bugs

If you're still looking for a special gift to bring a tear to your loved one's eye, look no further.

Can't decide on what to get that special someone for Valentine's Day? Sometimes the answer is all around us, and right where it's been for millions of years—like cockroaches! How better to express your appreciation for that special someone than to name a Madagascar hissing cockroach after them?

[...]

But not just any roach….He or she is a Madagascar hissing roach, the biggest and loudest of these stalwart insects. WCS's Bronx Zoo has 58,000 of these brown, iridescent beauties, and they need names. With a $10 donation, one of them can be named by you. How sweet!

We'll send a truly memorable certificate of honor to that certain someone explaining that there's a special insect living at the Bronx Zoo with his or her name on it.

[Bronx Zoo]

Cut Off at the Knees, Cut off the Team

Let's face it -- if the kid can't cut it, you have to cut him loose. There's no crying in baseball, so shed no tears for Anthony.

Anthony Burruto looks in the mirror and sees a resilient teenager. He is strong. He is able. He is a baseball player.

He has been playing the game since he was 8 years old, using prosthetic legs. His parents Vinny and Diane saw no need to coddle him because of his circumstances. Doctors amputated both of Anthony's lower legs as a baby because he was born without a shinbone in his left leg and without a fibula in his right leg.

His dad, a big New York Yankees fan, put a uniform on him since he was a baby. He's been wearing one since, and was hopeful of playing for the varsity team at Dr. Phillips High School this season.

[...]

Anthony, a sophomore, was cut on the second day tryouts. Coach Mike Bradley's main concern was that Anthony can't field bunts, and that teams would take advantage of his inability to jump off the mound quickly.

But that's never been an issue before. The kid can play. Little League, fall team at Dr. Phillips, up through the natural progressions. He's been on the cover of ESPN the Magazine. He can throw a fastball around 80 mph. He's got a wicked curve.

And besides, how cheesy would it be for any team to try to take advantage of a kid battling out there like Anthony? Would a coach be so obsessed with winning that he would order every player to bunt?

[...]

"He was given the same opportunity as everyone else," Dr. Phillips principal Gene Trochinski said Wednesday. "Unfortunately he wasn't only one who did not make the team. There were 23 others who tried out and didn't make it. … At this level you try to win ballgames."

[Orlando Sentinel]

"Mind the Valentine's Day Trap"

As soon as our infidel president (born in Indonesiastan and educated at a Malaysian Islamofacist madrassa) gets wind of this, he'll be rounding up America's lovebirds and sending them straight to the Death Panels.

Malaysia has stepped up a campaign to stop Muslims celebrating Valentine's Day - labelling it a "trap" that could encourage immoral behaviour.

Deputy Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin said Monday's celebration of romantic love was "not suitable" for Muslims.

Several Malaysian states are planning to carry out checks on hotels to stop young couples having premarital sex.

[...]

The government-run Department of Islamic Development, which handles religious policies, has launched a publicity campaign called "Mind the Valentine's Day Trap".

Wan Mohamad Sheikh Abdul Aziz, the department's chief, told state media: "In reality, as well as historically, the celebration of Valentine's Day is synonymous with vice activities."

[...]

He said Islam had never rejected positive things from the West, noting that it had embraced Mother's and Father's Day.

[BBC]

Obama Coasts as GOP Acknowledges His Citizenship and Christianity

This is beautiful because the interviewer directly asked, "is it your job to stand up to ignorance?" And Boehner said no. "It's not my job to tell the American people what to think." I have to agree here. Our elected officials are not elected to tell us we are ignorant. It's almost totally the opposite. "Our job is to listen." That's what Boehner said.

You would think it was about leadership, but it isn't. It's about listening and following, even if people are stupid. So if the people are stupid, we're all screwed. This is where education comes in. If the people get smarter, then the politicians are following the smart people and everything is okay. That's why they're always talking about education. Right now the people are stupid, so the politicians are listening to and following the stupid people, and it's a vicious cycle. We need to break out.

I have always thought this was a tempest in a teapot. So what if Obama isn't a citizen? I know lots of people who aren't citizens and they are just great. And plenty of cool Muslims too.

Is it fair to ask this Boehner guy to condemn those who say Obama is a Not-a-Citizen Muslim Communist? We are going to say politicans can't be ignorant? If this is the "new standard" we are going to have to substantially rethink almost everything in politics right now. Seriously.

House Speaker John Boehner says Americans have a right to think what they want to think, even when they're wrong about President Barack Obama's citizenship and his religion.

Some people believe that Obama, a native of Hawaii, was actually born outside the U.S. or in some other way is not a natural-born citizen eligible to be president. There is also a persistent belief among some that Obama, a Christian, is actually a Muslim.

When the host of NBC's "Meet the Press" asked Boehner whether he, as speaker of the House, had a responsibility to "stand up to that kind of ignorance," Boehner told David Gregory: "It's not my job to tell the American people what to think. Our job in Washington is to listen to the American people."

Boehner continued: "Having said that, the state of Hawaii has said that he was born there. That's good enough for me. The president says he's a Christian. I accept him at his word." He later called those "the facts" of Obama's background.

Boehner denied that he is willing to let those misperceptions remain because they weaken and delegitimize Obama.

[Associated Press]

Mix and Match Religious Kooks Signal Apocalypse Now

At first glance you might think, "isn't this great, these fantastic religious traditions coming together? We all have more in common than we know. It's a beautiful thing." Well that would be WRONG! We have been fighting and dying over our religious distinctions for centuries to straighten this out, and now that we have established these vital separations, we are going to muck things up all over again?

Noting that this would appear to be a one way street. You are not going to see any Jews vaulting over the fence and eating bacon, changing light bulbs, or singing in choirs, all traditional Christian activities. No, they know they are fine the way they are. But it's the Christians here that are messing around with wedding contracts and even saying, "this document is more valid than a state license." Not in this house it isn't!

Noting also that this was published in the New York Times, which like most of the remaining high quality media outlets is controlled by Jews, so in a way they are crowing about this, like "we are taking over babe oh yeah, in your FACE Christians!" And what is wrong with CHRISTIAN history anyway? They've got a long tradition of going all over the world and forcing others to go along with them, and plenty of these people end up liking it and making splendid jewelery and beautiful crosses and stuff like that. And let's not forget how they settled that mess with Gallileo. Lots to be proud of there, and no reason at all to start preferring Jewish history, because even if Jesus was a Jew (probably true), they really didn't get what he was saying.

In my opinion, these weddings shouldn't count. This happens all the time. Years ago I had a wife and the doorbell rang and a man in a suit told me the priest who married us wasn't a priest so the wedding was invalid. "Good day sir," he said as he left. "And good day to you too dear," I said to...that woman, going out right behind.

In a San Antonio chapel last August, after reciting their wedding vows and exchanging their rings, Sally and Mark Austin prepared to receive communion for the first time as husband and wife. Just before they did, their minister asked them to sign a document. It was a ketubah, a traditional Jewish marriage contract.

The Austins’ was not an interfaith marriage. Nor was their ceremony some sort of multicultural mashup. Both Sally and Mark are evangelical Christians, members of Oak Hills Church, a nationally known megachurch. They were using the ketubah as a way of affirming the Jewish roots of their faith.

In so doing, the Austins are part of a growing phenomenon of non-Jews incorporating the ketubah, a document with millennia-old origins and a rich artistic history, into their weddings. Mrs. Austin, in fact, first learned about the ketubah from her older sister, also an evangelical Christian, who had been married five years earlier with not only a ketubah but the Judaic wedding canopy, the huppah.

“Embracing this Jewish tradition just brings a richness that we miss out on sometimes as Christians when we don’t know the history,” said Mrs. Austin, 28, a business manager for AT&T. “Jesus was Jewish, and we appreciate his culture, where he came from.”

Beyond its specific basis in Judaism, the ketubah represented to the Austins a broader concept of holiness, of consecration. “We wanted a permanent reminder of the covenant we made with God,” Mrs. Austin said. “We see this document superseding the marriage license of a state or a court.”

[The New York Times]

The Next President of the United States

When I think of leadership, I think of someone with guts. And as I look around the current political landscape, guts are in short supply. Brains are in even shorter supply, which should have us all worried, but there are alternatives.

Look at this Lohan kid! Typical person would be crapping a brick in these circumstances. Losing their career, going to jail, etc. Not her! She's going to court dressed up like a hooker on her way to the penthouse suite. All that's missing is a bottle of Crown Royal in her cute little fist. Guts to burn. Right on man!

Some candy ass lawyer tells you to dress conservatively. Screw that. Plus the guy is such a good lawyer he has time to do the "Today" show. Shut up Mr. Suit! Tell it to Matt Lauer you douche.

If you're going down, go down with style. Send her to Egypt in that dress and watch them hoodlums get in line. If they send her to Berlusconi in Italy she might not come back. Maybe they could just send parts of her to jail and let the good parts go free? You go girl! She's got my vote. Woooooooof!

Amidst throngs of reporters, fans, and curious onlookers, Lindsay Lohan showed up for her arraignment on felony grand theft charges with every intention of owning the spotlight Wednesday in Los Angeles. Sporting a figure-hugging white knit Kimberly Ovitz mini dress paired with black pumps, Chanel 5182 sunglasses, newly-colored tresses, and a spray tan, there was no way you could miss her.

The mid-thigh length dress was universally criticized by fashion and news sites across the web. TMZ.com likened it to Sharon Stone's infamous "Basic Instinct" outfit, while E! Online asked, "Was it a fashion misdemeanor?" In an interview with the "Today" show Wednesday, defense attorney Mark Geragos advised, "I tell my clients to dress like you're going to church or temple." Clearly, Lindsay didn't get that memo.

[OMG! from Yahoo!]

Cute Couple

"Predictive Text" Can Get You Killed

Honestly, the Captain believes that if you're so lazy that you rely upon a gadget to type your words for you, you're asking to get stabbed 104 times.

A MAN who stabbed his friend to death in a row over a mis-spelt text message has been convicted of manslaughter.

Neil Brook, aged 33, of Wilbraham Road, Walkden, was on trial at Manchester Crown Court accused of murdering his friend and neighbour, 27- year-old Josef Witkowski.

[...]

Brook told the police he sent Mr Witkowski a text containing the word “nutter”, but, because of his predictive text, it came out as “mutter”.

Mr Witkowski took offence and after the pair exchanged a series of increasingly abusive and angry text messages, he went round to Brook’s flat.

[...]

The court heard that Brook grabbed [a] knife from the back of the door and stabbed Mr Witkowski in the leg, and he took refuge in the bathroom.

Brook continued to attack Mr Witkowski and delivered the killing blow, stabbing him in the chest and piercing his heart.

Mr Witkowski had 104 injuries including cuts, stab wounds, bruises and slice marks on his hands.

[The Bolton News]

Asteroid Planning Guide: 4/13/29 Not Looking Good

If the robots don't kill us first, looks like this asteroid will.

The saddest thing about this is that the cosmic cataclysm is planned for April and not October, when all right minded people would welcome a giant meteor crashing into Yankee Stadium during the World Series, wiping out tens of thousands of Yankees and Phillies fans in one righteous blast.

An asteroid considered to be the largest threat to Earth may strike the planet within the next 25 years, according to Russian astronomers.

Scientists at St Petersburg State University have predicted that asteroid Apophis may hit Earth on April 13, 2036.

"Apophis will approach Earth at a distance of 37,000-38,000km on April 13, 2029. Its likely collision with Earth may occur on April 13, 2036," Professor Leonid Solokov said.

[...]

[I]f the asteroid does collide with Earth, NASA estimates the energy from this particular asteroid to be roughly the same as hundreds of nuclear bombs.

[NineMSN]

Two Left Feet

Footloose isn't always fancy-free.

Doctors in China attached a patient's severed left foot onto the calf of his right leg in a desperate bid to save it.

Ma Jun, 36, lost his foot after he slipped into a concrete mixer while working on a building site in Zhengzhou, Henan Province.

He was rushed to hospital along with his severed foot but his left leg was too badly damaged for it to be reattached.

[...]

Dr Song [Wenchao] added: "While it is hosted by the right leg, the left foot can grow new skin, tissue and muscles. It is normal and pink-coloured so the blood is circulating smoothly."

He is now planning a second operation to reattach the foot to the left leg, followed by further surgery to reconstruct the calf.

[Orange News]

Mississippians Eager for Ku Klux Klan Vanity Plates

Remember, it's about heritage, not hate. And needless to say, Jesus would approve.

A fight is brewing in Mississippi over a proposal to issue specialty license plates honoring Confederate Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest, who was an early leader of the Ku Klux Klan.

The Mississippi Division of Sons of Confederate Veterans wants to sponsor a series of state-issued license plates to mark the 150th anniversary of the Civil War, which it calls the "War Between the States." The group proposes a different design each year between now and 2015, with Forrest slated for 2014.

[...]

Forrest, a Tennessee native, is revered by some as a military genius and reviled by others for leading the 1864 massacre of black Union troops at Fort Pillow, Tenn. Forrest was a Klan grand wizard in Tennessee after the war.

[...]

"If Christian redemption means anything — and we all want redemption, I think — [Forrest] redeemed himself in his own time, in his own actions, in his own words," [Sons of Confederate Veterans member Greg] Stewart said. "We should respect that."

[ABC]

Home Is Where the Corpse Is

There are some great bargains to be had in today's real estate auctions, but there are also some drawbacks to buying an apartment sight unseen. You never know exactly what you'll find behind the door until you open it.

It was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of her life.

A young woman thought that she had snapped up her ideal apartment in the sought-after area of Lisbon, in Portugal.

But when she walked into the flat for the fist time instead of feeling like it was her home sweet home she had a terrible shock.

For lying on the kitchen floor was the rotting corpse of the previous owner, Augusta Martinho.

Ms Martinho had lived alone at the flat with her pet dog for several years before she went missing in August 2002 ago aged 88.

[...]

But the mystery [of Ms. Martinho's disappearance] was finally solved after her flat, which had remained lifeless since she disappeared, was listed for auction earlier this year.

The buyer, who has not been named, found Ms Martinho on the kitchen floor with her pet dog who had starved without her care.

[Daily Mail]

Women Are Just Impossible

If you look at this, here we are, in the midst of the worst economic crunch in memory, and here are these whining jerks beefing about Valentine's Day gifts ANYONE would love to get. One guy makes a "memory box." So what if he ate the chocolates? Earth to Miss Thing, how many guys do you think will spend time making you a freakin' memory box? If any guy I know tells me he's making a memory box, HE'S a memory. Done. Forget it. So you're bitching about how guys are a bunch of insensitive clods, and some dunce makes you a memory box and you bitch about that too. Great. Next.

I see gold and diamonds, a BBQ set and a "Sopranos" box. Wow, what a hardship, getting gifts like that. I'd like to move all these women into a cardboard box together for a year where they'd have to beg for change to buy soup, and THEN show them these gifts, and then, TAKE THEM BACK. Next.

Guy talks about how he still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend. What do you think he is, a heartless robot? Who can spend time with you and then dump you without another thought? Women don't know anything about men. Men linger over relationships, they feel real pain. They don't look at a memory box and dump you! The reality is that WOMEN are the insentive clods. And men are the best chefs too, everybody knows that.

We’ve rounded up the worst of the worst among the hundreds of responses. You may recognize some of these universally bad gifts. Remember, it is the thought that counts, but when the thought is fleeting, last-minute, or downright inconsiderate, the result is a lasting bad memory.

From the mixed-message guy. Charlene remembered the Valentine’s Day she made her boyfriend a memory box and put all of his favorite candy in there among trinkets from their time together. “He gave me a fabric heart-shaped box of chocolates, but ate the chocolates and replaced them with rocks. I dumped him shortly after that.”

From the not-so-observant guy. The key to good gift-gifting is observation – noticing over time what’s important to your significant other, what catches his or her eye, can lead to the best gift ideas. Shine user autumn’s husband could use a little help from The Mentalist to hone his observation skills. “My husband gave me a white gold and diamond cross necklace. It is really beautiful, but I’m a Buddhist—and allergic to gold.”

Something-for-him gifts. The many stories of silly lingerie fit nicely into this category. But a “L’il Smokey BBQ Pit” is a new one, as Shine user Kel can attest: “…because I didn’t have one and HE liked to barbeque!”

The year Shine user e.a.b. lost her job, she still bought her then-boyfriend of one year a digital camera to replace the one he had broken. “I got the entire season of “Sopranos” on DVD. Basically, he bought a gift for himself!”

From the heartless guy. “My worst Valentine’s Day gift? My ex-boyfriend of about a year and a half told me that he still had feelings for his ex-girlfriend,” recalls Shine user Jill.

[Shine]

Robots Getting New Tool in War Against Humans

It's always a great idea to "arm" robots with knowledge of their so-called "human masters." And while we're at it, why not give them the ability to share that knowledge and learn from each other all over the world? What could possibly go wrong?

European scientists have embarked on a project to let robots share and store what they discover about the world.

Called RoboEarth it will be a place that robots can upload data to when they master a task, and ask for help in carrying out new ones.

Researchers behind it hope it will allow robots to come into service more quickly, armed with a growing library of knowledge about their human masters.

[...]

RoboEarth hopes to start showing how the information that robots discover about the world can be defined so any other robot can find it and use it.

[...]

It would be great, [RoboEarth researcher Dr Markus Waibel] said, if a robot could enter a location that it had never visited before, consult RoboEarth to learn about that place and the objects and tasks in it and then quickly get to work.

"Quickly get to work," indeed. "Quickly get to work" killing us all.

[BBC]

I Am Nostradamus - Guilty, But Not Really

Look at this. I already know how this turns out. They will be guilty, without admitting any criminal wrongdoing, and they will pay a fine.

If I'm driving down the road and I get in trouble, I will not be able to say there was "no criminal wrongdoing." These guys are handling BILLIONS of dollars and even when they are caught they don't do squat, even when they have to pay fines.

What does "wrongdoing" mean anymore anyway? As I read this it sounds like crossing against the light. How can you get charged with this and there's a question about "wrongdoing?" What does this mean? If I'm not wrongdoing then leave my doing alone, right? What is going on here?

If you robbed a liquor store and stole $50 you would be facing more time than these swindling bastards.

A national disgrace. I am writing this with one of my kids nearby and she agrees with me entirely, and now I have to get snacks for the other 14 (15?). Thank you.

Two people who once worked for billionaire trader Steven A. Cohen's SAC Capital Advisers were charged with insider trading, drawing the $12 billion hedge fund firm further into a high-profile investigation.

Prosecutors allege that the two former employees, who were among four people charged with insider trading on Tuesday, received confidential corporate information while working at SAC. The firm itself has not been charged with any wrongdoing.

The government has been probing current and former SAC employees since announcing a huge insider trading case involving hedge fund Galleon Group's founder Raj Rajaratnam in October 2009, sources have told Reuters.

[Reuters]

Revenge of the Rooster

The Captain doesn't post many "feel good" stories, but there are rare occasions when he feels he must. This is one of them. May there be a thousand more cockfighting cock-ups like this one.

Cockfighting can be a fatal activity, not just for the roosters.

A 35-year-old Lamont man died Sunday after being stabbed in the leg by a sharp blade that was attached to a fighting bird, authorities said.

[...]

"I have never seen this type of incident," said Sgt. Martin King, a 24-year veteran who noted the major arteries that could have been severed. "People have been known to bleed out from those injuries if medical attention is not obtained immediately."

[...]

[Victim Jose Luis] Ochoa's death caught the attention of John Goodwin, director of animal cruelty policy for the Humane Society of the United States.

"It's pretty rare, but I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often considering the knives they put on those birds," he said. "It's not a surprise that somebody got killed."

[Bakersfield.com]

Egyptian Protester Demonstrates How Not to Throw Molotov Cocktail

[YouTube]

First, Invent a Deity

So the first step is, if you can't understand how something happened, the only logical conclusion is - you invent a deity to explain it. If it's beyond your capability to understand it, that means there's a God.

What O'Reilly leaves out here to some degree are the next steps. Once you establish that there's a deity, the second step is you make fun of and condemn people who don't agree with your point of view. Here O'Reilly gives a good example of this, calling those who criticize him "pinheads."

The next step is action. As in actively going after people who don't share your beliefs. Round 'em up and ship 'em off. As you read this, do you get the impression that O'Reilly would be fine with this? If you don't make the "deity" leap with him, he would be fine shipping you off someplace, or worse. Once you get to this third step, you've successfully shut off all discourse. You have nothing left to learn because you already know everything.

Psychiatrists have a term for this, it's called "self actualization." Where you've reached the point in your life where you have nothing else to gain from therapy. You've got it all figured out, and you are in your ideal state. It's just with people like Bill O'Reilly, that ideal state is an island, populated only with those who agree with him. The rest of the "pinheads" are gone, and the only thing you can see is the moon, the eternal gift of our creator. Amen.

Bill O’Reilly wants to know how the moon got there!

The talk show host — who recently revealed his reason for believing in god: “how else do you explain the tides?” — has taken a a question from a fan to explain the existence of Almighty God.

“Okay, how’d the moon get there? Look, you pinheads who attacked me for this, you guys are just desperate. How’d the moon get there? How’d the sun get there? How’d it get there? Can you explain that to me? How come we have that and Mars doesn’t have it? Venus doesn’t have it. How come? Why not? How’d it get here? How did that little amoeba get here, crawl out there? How’d it do it?

Come on. You have order in this universe. You have an order in the universe. Tide comes in, tide goes out. Okay. Yeah, the moon does it. Fine. How’d the moon get there? Who put it there? Did it just happen?

Okay, if we have existence — if we have life on earth, how come they don’t have it on the other planets? Are we just lucky? Some meteor did this? Bunk!

You know, I see this stuff — it’s desperate. I think I’ve said it many times. It takes more faith to not believe and to think that this was all luck — and all this human body and all the intricacies of it, all luck — than it does to believe in a deity.”

[Showbiz Spy]

Every Man Is His Own Worst Enemy

It's amazing how a guy is smart enough to figure out how to do this, and get away with it, and then he just can't shut up. This happens all the time. You don't get caught doing things, you get caught talking about doing things.

I love the part where the guy's dad is a judge. People don't know this, but judges have a pretty wild lifestyle. Not just wearing the robes and all that, but behind the scenes these guys can party. And lots of times they take some of the money, like I'm sure this judge will pocket a few chips and be off to the races.

Also great to give the casino advance notice. When this guy gets out, he's going to get it EXACTLY right the next time. I know it. We'll talk in ten years, give or take a few.

Reporting from Las Vegas — Anthony Carleo needed to ditch some "cranberries." Fast. And this week, authorities said, he found an eager buyer.

The man agreed to meet Carleo at the lavish Bellagio casino, where in early December a gunman had swiped $1.5 million in casino chips, including $25,000 chips known as cranberries, and sped off on a motorcycle.

Las Vegas police say Carleo sold the man a $25,000 Bellagio chip that Carleo said had been stolen. The next night, court papers said, Carleo sold the man four more.

When the man told Carleo he wanted to assemble a crew to rip off Las Vegas casinos, Carleo's reaction was blase, police said. He had already robbed the Bellagio, they said he told the man, who turned out to be an undercover officer.

Police arrested Carleo late Wednesday at the Bellagio — where he had been staying on and off since the theft — on suspicion of armed robbery and burglary. His bail was set at $15,000, according to jail records, and he is scheduled to appear in court Monday.

Carleo, 29, is the son of local Municipal Court Judge George Assad. "I think it goes without saying that as a father, I am devastated and heartbroken to see my son arrested under these circumstances," the judge said Thursday in a statement.

Court documents portray Carleo as a luckless gambler and a somewhat careless thief. On Dec. 11, he told a Bellagio poker dealer he would love to pocket some cranberries.

"Man, how easy would it be to rob a casino?" Carleo said, according to court papers.

"Dude, you watch 'Ocean's Eleven' too much. This is real life and that … doesn't happen," the dealer reportedly said.

"Oh, no, it's not that hard. All you need is a black mask and a motorcycle, and I have a motorcycle," Carleo said, according to court documents.

[Los Angeles Times]

"Once a Century" Amazonian Droughts Now Happening Every 5 Years

The Amazon rain forest is often called the "lungs of the earth." Unsurprisingly, these lungs are now starting to look like those of a 5 pack-a-day Pall Mall smoker.

A severe drought last year in the Amazon rainforest outpaced a 2005 dry spell thought to be a once-in-a-century event, a new study finds.

[...]

"If drought events continue, the era of intact Amazon forest buffering the increase in atmospheric carbon dioxide may have passed," [researchers from the United Kingdom and Brazil] wrote in a paper published yesterday in the journal Science.

[...]

"The bigger-picture view, however, is that the Amazon has experienced two '100-year' droughts in the past five years, and there is good evidence that the forests are not adapted to drought ... and the bigger trees die first," [Scott Goetz, a senior scientist at the Woods Hole Research Center] said. "There is little doubt that continued droughts of this magnitude and frequency will change the structure of these forests and their ability to sequester carbon from the atmosphere."

[...]

The drought in 2010 could release another 5 billion metric tons of CO2 into the atmosphere as trees killed by the drought decompose, roughly equal to the annual U.S. output of the heat-trapping gas. That dwarfs the approximately 2 billion metric tons of CO2 that entered the atmosphere as a consequence of the 2005 drought.

[Scientific American]