Gingrich Rejected By Animals And Humans Alike

Talk about adding injury to insult. First the American public resoundingly rejects Gingrich and now this. You have to read between the lines here. This is presented like, oh, the penguin just happened to bite Newt. NO! That's not all there is to it by a longshot. You believe animals don't think? They don't know what's going on? Of course they do! This penguin saw Gingrich and was looking to swallow him whole, but he could only get a finger.

Not only that, but the animals are well aware of Gingrich's stupid zoo books and that pisses them off even more. You think animals like being in the zoo? NO again! If I were Newt Gingrich I would stick with the small fry, like goldfish. Let's see if he really visits another zoo anytime soon. His staffers may wise him up to the danger. If he's attacked by a polar bear don't say I didn't tell you so! Another accurate predication from America's leading prognosticator.

The message for Gingrich is clear, from man and beast alike - BRING US FOOD OR STAY HOME! We've all heard enough.

Things have not been going all that well for Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich lately, even at one of his favorite places - the zoo.

Newt was nipped on the finger by a penguin during a private tour of the famous St. Louis zoo on Friday before he spoke to the National Rifle Association convention, zoo officials confirmed on Monday.

Gingrich, who is trailing in the Republican race for the White House and is under pressure to withdraw, passed unscathed through Big Cat Country and avoided contact with the crocodiles in the Herpetarium. But his visit took a turn when a Magellanic penguin pecked at the candidate's hand.

"He was nipped on the finger by a penguin," zoo public relations director Susan Gallagher said. "A Band-Aid took care of the injury."

Gingrich vowed he would not shun zoos. "Newt is a zoo fan. He will be back," spokesman R. C. Hammond said.

The zoo allows people on private tours to get "up close and personal" with the birds.

Gingrich has made a habit of visiting zoos while running for president and wrote the forward for "America's Best Zoos: A Travel Guide for Fans & Families."

[Reuters]