Have You Heard The One About Tires You Can See From Space?

A giant rubber menace you can see from space? Sounds like a Rubbermaid dishrack. That could hurt you. This is just what we need on top of everything else. It's all signifying something. Not good. I just feel like all these stories are the same. Equally meaningful and meaningless. You know what I mean? You probably don't.

I've just had it up to here. I don't even know why I'm doing this but I can't stop. I'm up to my neck in tires you bastards. If we have a space program, how about making some SPACE here on Earth and launching some of these tires out into the distant past where those reptile HR Giger looking aliens live? Shouldn't we get to them first? Can we EVER effectively deal with ANYTHING?

The sprawling pile of hundreds of thousands of tires isn't easy to spot from the ground, sitting in a rural South Carolina clearing accessible by only a circuitous dirt path that winds through thick patches of trees. No one knows how all those tires got there, or when.

But, Calhoun County Council Chairman David Summers says of this giant rubber menace, "You can see it from space."

Authorities have charged one person in connection with the mess of roughly 250,000 tires, which covers more than 50 acres on satellite images. And now a Florida company is helping haul it all away.

Litter control officer Boyce Till said he contacted the local sheriff and state health department, which is investigating who had been dumping the tires. But the worst possible penalty that could be imposed locally? A single $475 ticket for littering.

Records show the property is owned by Michael Keitt Jr. of Far Rockaway, N.Y.
A phone number for Keitt could not be found, but local officials said the man was one of several heirs to the property, all of whom live out of state.

[Associated Press]