Jesus Wants to Punch You in the Face

The time for turning the other cheek is over and the gloves have come off.

When you hear the name Jesus, is the first image that comes to mind a dewy-eyed pretty boy with flowing locks? If so, think again. After 2,000 years, the Messiah is getting a makeover.

This time he's less "gentle Jesus, meek and mild" and more of a kick-ass action hero – a Chuck Norris in sandals.

No more cissy Kumbaya stuff. In this testosterone-fuelled theology, the Saviour finally has the rippling biceps he would have developed as a carpenter from a working-class home in Nazareth.

[...]

As Kentucky-based [artist Stephen] Sawyer, 58, points out: "I scarcely think Jesus could have overturned the tables of the money-lenders and driven them from the temple if he was a wimp. The model I use for my paintings is a surfer guy who's built like a brick shithouse."

There is no chin behind Jesus's beard, there is only another fist.

[The Guardian]