Crying Won't Help You

If you're feeling overwhelmed by sadness and despair, you may feel the need to let it all out and bawl like a little baby. Nothing helps wash away the pain like a good cry, right?

Wrong.

This new study, currently published online in the Journal of Research in Personality, asked 97 women aged 18 to 48 in the Netherlands to keep a daily crying and mood diary over a two-to three-month period.

[...]

Scientists ended up with 1,004 crying episodes to analyze: Their results showed that the average boo-hoo lasted eight minutes and took place in the living room, usually alone or with one other person present. Conflict, loss, or seeing others suffer were the most common triggers for tears.

For the majority of cases -- 61 percent of them -- sobbers reported no change in mood compared to how they felt before moisture streamed down their cheeks. Thirty percent experienced a better mood afterward and nine percent felt worse.

"Only a minority of crying episodes were associated with mood improvement -- against conventional wisdom," says Jonathan Rottenberg, an associate professor of psychology at the University of South Florida in Tampa, and the study's lead author.

[...]

"Crying is not nearly as beneficial as people think it is," says Rottenberg.

[The Body Odd]

You Always Hurt the Ones You Love

Next time you step out of your trailer and find a gun on the ground, check to see if it's loaded before you assume it's a device to help you fill your lungs with the rejuvenating tonic of tobacco smoke.

A 12-year-old girl was wounded by a ricocheting bullet Sunday evening in Banning, when her mother fired a tiny pistol she mistook for a cigarette lighter, police said.

[...]

Rachel Avila, 30, told police she and her 12-year-old daughter, both of Banning, were talking with friends in front of their mobile home in the 100 block of North Phillips Avenue when Avila found what she thought was a novelty cigarette lighter, police said.

The lighter resembled a miniature firearm and it was lying on the ground, Avila told police.

Avila picked it up and tried to light it by pulling the trigger, police said.

The first time Avila pulled the trigger, nothing happened. The second time she pulled the trigger, a .22-caliber bullet was fired, police said.

"The bullet struck the ground, and then ricocheted upward and entered her daughter’s upper right arm," the police statement said.

[...]

The police department advised caution to anyone who finds an object resembling a firearm or a suspicious device.

"Do not handle the object and call local law enforcement for assistance," Banning police said.

[Banning-Beaumont Patch]

Life's Been Good To Him So Far

But for his children, not so much.

Freshman U.S. Rep. Joe Walsh, a tax-bashing Tea Party champion who sharply lectures President Barack Obama and other Democrats on fiscal responsibility, owes more than $100,000 in child support to his ex-wife and three children, according to documents his ex-wife filed in their divorce case in December.

“I won’t place one more dollar of debt upon the backs of my kids and grandkids unless we structurally reform the way this town spends money!” Walsh says directly into the camera in his viral video lecturing Obama on the need to get the nation’s finances in order.

Walsh starts the video by saying, “President Obama, quit lying. Have you no shame, sir? In three short years, you’ve bankrupted this country.”

In court documents, after his ex-wife, Laura Walsh, asked a judge to suspend his driver’s license until he paid his child support, Joe Walsh asks his ex-wife’s lawyer: “Have you no decency?”

[Chicago Sun Times]

Bellyful of Beast

It appears that in Pakistan the first line of treatment for dealing with a gigantic serpent in your stomach is to eat 42 loaves of bread a day.

WARBURTON - A 50-year-old local woman with a gigantic snake in her body has called upon the authorities to help her undergo surgery.

An unforgettable incident happened with a 50-year-old Rasheedan Bibi, a resident of Chora Saggar, a suburban area when an ultrasound test detected a gigantic snake in her body. Reportedly, a very small snake entered her body when she drank water from a pitcher in her house. After two months, she felt progressive increase in belly size but she supposed it to be pregnancy. After 7 months, her entire body has swollen to its maximum and suffered from severe illness. She was taken to hospital where they were shocked when ultrasound test reported a coiled massive snake in her abdomen. Rasheedan Bibi is taking 14 breads three times a day. She belonged to a poor family and appealed to Punjab CM to help her undergo surgery.

[The Nation (of Pakistan)]

Pat Buchanan on Norway Terrorist: "He May Be Right"

Now, it's one thing for Buchanan to call Adolf Hitler "an individual of great courage, a soldier’s soldier in the Great War, a leader steeped in the history of Europe," or to extol the virtues of bringing lucky-ducky Africans to America in slave ships. Nobody really disputes these truths, do they?

But now Pat's saying that the perpetrator of the mass murder in Oslo "may be right," you can be sure MSNBC will finally get around to firing him. Right?

Europe faces today an authentic and historic crisis.

With her native-born populations aging, shrinking and dying, Europe's nations have not discovered how to maintain their prosperity without immigrants. Yet the immigrants who have come - from the Caribbean, Africa, the Middle East, South Asia - have been slow to learn the language and have failed to attain the educational and occupational levels of Europeans. And the welfare states of Europe are breaking under the burden.

[...]

As for a climactic conflict between a once-Christian West and an Islamic world that is growing in numbers and advancing inexorably into Europe for the third time in 14 centuries, on this one, Breivik may be right.

[MediaMatters]

Dancing With the Cephalopods

Some people like their calamari breaded and fried, while others prefer it grilled or sauteed. In northern Japan, the traditional preparation is à la Fred Astaire.



Our intrepid gourmand explains:

A seafood bowl I ate in Hakodate in Hokkaido, Japan. It had salmon roe and seaweed and some other things, with the highlight being the "dancing" squid on top.

[...]

I added some information in a reply comment but it's now buried somewhere. The basic idea behind the sodium in the soy sauce causing the legs to move has been covered in the comments, but there's still some question as to whether or not it's officially "dead" at the time of serving. The brain is probably still in the body, but a significant part of its nervous system, the giant axon, I believe extends into the mantle, which has been cut. I'm not an expert on squids so I can't really come to a definite conclusion about that. As you can see in the beginning, it's not moving at all when it's brought out so I assume that signals around the body have stopped, whereas a fresh intact squid out of water would constantly move around. This doesn't necessarily mean that it's "dead" but it seems to me that it's at least incapacitated.

[YouTube]

Filled With Hate And Rage As Society Destroys Everything I Like

My baseball team is held hostage to the Madoff scandal. Every piece of my life is permeated with disaster, or IMPENDING disaster. Beltran, he is a gifted player with one leg. Knee. He deserves his props, and he might need them to walk. For years I would watch him and think, he is the best center fielder in the National League. I almost feel bad that he can't make more than a few million a year now, in the twilight of his career.

But what difference does it make? The people owning the team are meddling dimwits who got suckered by their pal. And they were WARNED. Repeatedly. I have good friends but if enough MBAs call me and say "your friend is at least potentially a crook" I would listen.

I like horse racing. They are KILLING horse racing now. If you don't have slots at your track you are DONE. NYC OTBs closed this year. Do you know how much I learned at OTB? Come on. I've had it with everything. Fuck it all. Not you though.

The commonly held assumption regarding Carlos Beltran is that he played his last game at Citi Field in a Mets uniform on Thursday afternoon. But that is not necessarily how the Mets look at it.

Beltran went 0 for 3 against the Cardinals, the same team against which he had his most famous at-bat as a Met.

Although the team is intent on trading Beltran, who is in the final year of his contract, before the July 31 non-waiver trade deadline, they are also considering the possibility of trying to sign him again as a free agent after the season.

According to two people in baseball familiar with the situation, the team contacted Scott Boras, Beltran’s agent, and asked if he would be amenable to that notion. They were informed that Beltran would indeed be willing to consider the idea of re-signing with the Mets in the off-season, even if he is traded in the coming days.

While a re-signing may never happen — and the Mets’ financial problems could make it an impossibility — the idea that the team is entertaining a Beltran return demonstrates how far the team and the outfielder have come after their bitter dispute surrounding Beltran’s knee surgery 18 months ago. At the time, Beltran and the Mets’ ownership were at odds over Beltran’s decision to have the operation, and the misgivings only grew after Beltran took so long to get back in uniform after the 2010 season began.

[New York Times]

Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em

So now the truth comes out -- all those nagging goodie-two-shoes who tell you that you should quit smoking are trying to kill you.

According to the latest science, here are five ways that puffing away on delicious filterless Camels will help you live a longer, happier, healthier life:

1. Smoking lowers risk of knee-replacement surgery

While smokers might go broke buying a pack of cigarettes, they can at least save money by avoiding knee-replacement surgery. Surprising results from a new study have revealed that men who smoke had less risk of undergoing total joint replacement surgery than those who never smoked.

The study, from the University of Adelaide in Australia, appears in the July issue of the journal Arthritis & Rheumatism. What could be the connection? Knee-replacement surgery was more common among joggers and the obese; smokers rarely jog, and they are less likely to be morbidly obese.

After controlling for age, weight and exercise, the researchers were at a loss to explain the apparent, albeit slight protective effects of smoking for osteoporosis. It could be that the nicotine in tobacco helps prevent cartilage and joint deterioration.

2. Smoking lowers risk of Parkinson's disease

Numerous studies have identified the uncanny inverse relationship between smoking and Parkinson's disease. Long-term smokers are somehow protected against Parkinson's, and it's not because smokers die of other things earlier.

The most recent, well-conducted study was published in a March 2010 issue of the journal Neurology. Far from determining a cause for the protective effect, these researchers found that the number of years spent smoking, more so than the number of cigarettes smoked daily, mattered more for a stronger protective effect.

Harvard researchers were among the first to provide convincing evidence that smokers were less likely to develop Parkinson's. In a study published in Neurology in March 2007, these researchers found the protective effect wanes after smokers quit. And they concluded, in their special scientific way, that they didn't have a clue as to why.

3. Smoking lowers risk of obesity

Smoking — and, in particular, the nicotine in tobacco smoke — is an appetite suppressant. This has been known for centuries, dating back to indigenous cultures in America in the pre-Columbus era. Tobacco companies caught on by the 1920s and began targeting women with the lure that smoking would make them thinner.

A study published in the July 2011 issue of the journal Physiology & Behavior, in fact, is one of many stating that the inevitable weight gain upon quitting smoking is a major barrier in getting people to stop, second only to addiction.

The relationship between smoking and weight control is complex: Nicotine itself acts as both a stimulant and appetite suppressant; and the act of smoking triggers behavior modification that prompts smokers to snack less. Smoking also might make food less tasty for some smokers, further curbing appetite. As an appetite suppressant, nicotine appears to act on a part of the brain called the hypothalamus, at least in mice, as revealed in a study by Yale researchers published in the June 10, 2011, issue of the journal Science.

No respectable doctor would recommend smoking for weight control, given the toxic baggage accompanying cigarettes. This recent Yale study, however, does offer an inkling of hope for a safe diet drug to help obese people control their appetites.

4. Smoking lowers risk of death after some heart attacks

Compared with non-smokers, smokers who have had heart attacks seem to have lower mortality rates and more favorable responses to two kinds of therapy to remove plaque from their arteries: fibrinolytic therapy, which is basically medication; and angioplasty, which removes the plaque by inserting balloons or stents into the arteries.

There's a catch, though. The reason why smokers have heart attacks is that smoke scars the arteries, allowing fat and plaque to build up in the first place. So, one theory as to why smokers do better than non-smokers after such therapies is that they are younger, experiencing their first heart attack approximately 10 years before the non-smoker.

A study published in an August 2005 issue of the American Heart Journal, however, states that age alone is not enough to fully explain the survival differences and that "the smoker's paradox is alive and well." No alternative theories have been put forth since.

5. Smoking helps the heart drug clopidogrel work better

Clopidogrel is a drug used to inhibit blood clots for those patients suffering from coronary artery disease and other circulatory diseases leading to strokes and heart attacks. Smoking seems to help clopidogrel do its job better.

A study by Korean researchers in the October 2010 issue of the journal Thrombosis Research builds upon work by Harvard researchers published in 2009 that demonstrates the benefit of smoking at least 10 cigarettes a day. It seems that something in cigarette smoke activates certain proteins called cytochromes, which convert clopidogrel into a more active state.

Again, no respectable doctor is encouraging patients to start smoking to get the most out of clopidogrel. But this and the other four "benefits" of smoking reveal how tobacco — perhaps not unlike other potentially toxic plants — might contain certain chemicals of real therapeutic value.

[LiveScience]

To Hell With Books - New Technology Is Much Better

This is great, now everybody is walking around staring at gadgets all day and now books will be turned into gadgets as well. What was good enough for your father and your father's father is not good enough for YOU. We need a whole new bag to put that book in to get you to read it.

I'll say from experience, when it was a really big book, a pain in the ass to carry around, like "Don Quixote," when you finished reading it you felt like you EARNED that shit. Because it was so heavy.

So the new readers will be weak, and unable to lift the really heavy volumes of the classics like "War and Peace," and the even more revered and pointless "Remembrance Of Things Past."

O new world, I HATE THEE! And the old world is not far behind, in terms of my hate. For thee.

What happens when a pioneer like Borders goes out of business? Depends on who you ask.

A day after the bankrupt Ann Arbor, Mich.-based chain said it would seek court approval to sell off its assets and shutter its remaining 399 stores, everyone from publishers to consumers is assessing what it would mean if the company that started the big-box bookseller concept vanished. The move could have a wide ranging -- and different ---- impact on everyone from authors to consumers to competitors at a time when the industry is desperately trying to adapt to a new generation of readers who'd rather browse on an electronic book or tablet computer than turn the page of a paperback.

The biggest changes could come to the book publishing industry: As Borders stores disappear, other booksellers could benefit.

Jennifer Romanello, executive director of publicity at Grand Central Publishing in New York who stopped sending authors to most Borders for book signings after they declared bankruptcy in February says she already looks for other places to promote authors' work.

"It's one less outlet to use in promoting our authors," she said. "There are still other things out there; we see if there's an independent bookstore nearby. But the number of bookstores has been contracting, not expanding, so we're selective where we send out authors."

That ultimately could lead to more business for Barnes & Noble, a 705-store chain and one of Borders' main competitors. In fact, while at first Barnes & Noble revenue could be hurt initially as shoppers flock to Borders' liquidation sales, Barclays Capital analyst Alan Rifkin predicts ultimately the chain could gain $220 million to $330 million in revenue, or about 10 percent to 15 percent of Borders annual revenue if the chain closes.

Still, Rifkin said even though Barnes & Noble has more aggressively and successfully pursued the e-book space than Borders did ---- with Barnes & Noble's Nook e-reader and e-bookstore ---- it still faces the same stiff competition from online retailers.

"As the demand for physical books continues to decline, the need for big-box physical bookstores will likely continue to decline as well," he wrote in a client note.
That sentiment is being echoed by analysts and consumers alike who say the demise of Borders could close a chapter for bricks-and-mortar stores and open a new one for digital reading. To be sure, brick-and-mortar stores have not gone the way of the dinosaur, but some say it's only a matter of time.

[Associated Press]

Gunfire to the Rescue

Scene: Guns, children, Texans, a pit bull named "Cocaine." What could go wrong?

Robert Walker Sr. and Betty Walker of Houston, Texas were visiting their son's home at 2136 Oakhurst Drive in south Jackson, anxious to spend time with their grandchildren.

[...]

Walker Sr., a retired seismic engineer, was painting house address numbers in the backyard shortly after 3 p.m. Friday when a white 8-month-old pit bull named Cocaine jumped the fence and tugged the shirttail of a 7-year-old relative, said Walker Jr., relaying his mother's story.

Walker Sr. threw a brick at the dog while his wife quickly escorted her grandchildren into the house. She retrieved a .38-caliber revolver and returned outside, where she found her her husband holding the barking pit bull with both hands. Walker Sr. and the pit bull were face to face with the dog's back to Betty Walker.

Betty Walker fired two shots, the first striking her husband in the upper right chest. The second bullet struck the dog's left front leg.

[...]

Walker Jr. ran back to his pickup and backed it into the yard. Neighbors had helped Walker Jr. lift his father onto the tailgate by the time police and an ambulance arrived.

Walker Sr. was pronounced dead less than two hours later at a hospital. He was 53.

[...]

"I don't have no ill will toward my neighbor," Walker Jr. said. "It's just one of those things."

[Clarion Ledger]

Shocker As Bristol Palin Urges Mom To Run To Continue Her No Real Job Lifestyle

Of course Bristol Palin wants her mom to run. She's been on her own TV show, "Dancing With The Stars," written a book (well did she WRITE it?) and she's making money hand over fist doing nothing being Sarah Palin's daughter. If her mom wins that's a book and if she loses that's another book. She can't lose.

Has anyone noticed that Bristol Palin is one of these people that has a giant head? Look at this photo. It looks like you could fit this guy's head COMPLETLY inside Bristol Palin's giant head. When I see one of these giant head people, I always say to myself, "don't play cards with this fucker, they probably have a whole extra brain or a person in there just to see your cards and spy on you." It can be an unfair edge.

But let's keep the dream alive. Let's keep the focus on the real prize. For years Europeans have looked upon Americans as a bunch of trailer park trash and they are correct! This country deserves a Palin/Trump ticket, to vindicate the Euro assessment of American idiocy and at the same time provide an IN-YOUR-FACE "yeah I'm an idiot but I'm an American on the road to ruin yeeeeee-hah!" to the Euros and let them know that being right is WORTHLESS in the world right now and for the forseeable future.

If God gives me a Palin/Trump ticket I will do whatever God tells me to do from now on, even if he tells me to just keep writing this blog, as pointless as that may seem.

It's possible that no one has ever spent more time beating around the bush. And while Sarah Palin's "I Can Win" Newsweek cover story might seem like an overdue admission that she's running for president in the 2012 election -- it's not.

"I believe that I can win a national election," she says in the opening of the article. "I'm not so egotistical as to believe that it has to be me, or it can only be me, to turn things around... but I do believe that I can win."

But she says she's still not settled on running yet. The determining factor will be how jazzed she can get her husband and five children about a campaign and possible move to the White House.

"If it came down to the family just saying, 'Please, Mom, don't do this,' then that would be the deal-killer for me," she says. "Your family's gotta be in it with you."

One member of the Palin clan who's game for the run is the second most famous one. "Bristol wants me to run for president," she tells Newsweek. "But we're still thinking about it. I'm still thinking about it."

[Newsweek]

Jet Packs: Still Not Ready for Prime Time

[Buzzfeed]

Double Negative Rule Only Hope For Sheen Kids

I read this story and remembered something from math class. Two negatives equal a positive. If that applies to genetics these Sheen kids should turn out to be regular Einsteins. Both parents are apparently hellbent on getting loaded, so the kids should turn out fine. Look at this broad, walking around like this. She used to be HOT. I really hope the double negative rule works though.

In the photo, which I couldn't pull in here, it actually looks like a Gatorade she's carrying. I thought that stuff was supposed to replenish you after a workout, but I guess it would be good after smoking crack too. Could be a problem though, because Gatorade is supposed to give you a lift and I thought crack provided that lift in spades. Maybe the crack out there is not that good?

In this case, when they say she might need help, they usually refer to rehab, but here she might just need help getting the better crack and then she wouldn't have to balance that bottle in the crook of her arm and let everyone see her crack pipe. As usual, there's the surface story and then you have to read between the lines.

Brooke Mueller -- Charlie Sheen's ex who has been struggling with drug abuse -- was seen Friday holding what appears to be a makeshift crack pipe.

Brooke -- who is the primary caretaker for their two kids -- just finished her latest stint in rehab. She's been in rehab more than 15 times for various drugs including crack. Recently she was photographed in what appears to be a shady transaction near a car in Hawaii and in another incident she attempted to pawn jewelry in the L.A. area.

A disheveled Brooke is wearing a baggy shirt, sweatpants and heels. When she realized the photog was taking pictures of her, we're told she booked it out of there.

Sources tell TMZ ... despite Brooke and Charlie's problems with drug abuse, the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services has not visited either parent for at least 6 months.

Maybe it's time ...

No response so far from Brooke.

[TMZ.com]

You Think Your Daily Grind is Bad?

It could be a lot worse.

LAWTON, Okla. -- A horrible accident at a Bar S [sausage] plant in Southwest Oklahoma has taken the life of a young man. Twenty-six-year-old Michael Raper lived in Duncan with his fiance and four children, but Wednesday afternoon his promising life came to an abrupt end.

"He made my niece very happy," Diane Ferris said.

[...]

Late Tuesday night Raper was working at the Bar S plant in Lawton where he was in charge of cleaning the machinery.

"He slipped and went into the [meat grinding] machine. He was still conscious at the time," Ferris said. "So I can imagine the agony he was in, and he lost both of his legs in this accident."

Ferris says it took about two hours to free Raper, but the trauma was just too much.

He died Wednesday afternoon leaving behind a fiance and four children.

[KFOR]

Dildos as Deadly as Bears

It remains a mystery why the victim of this horrible accident was not wearing two wetsuits.

CLEVELAND — An exotic-animal owner who made headlines last summer when one of his bears mauled a woman to death has died after apparently choking on a sex toy, authorities said.

Sam Mazzola, 49, was found dead in his Columbia Station home on Sunday, face down on a water bed. He was bound to the bed with handcuffs, chains and padlocks, Lorain County Chief Deputy Coroner Dr. Frank Miller told the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

Mazzola had a sex toy in his throat, which apparently obstructed his breathing, Miller said. He was also wearing a leather mask with the eyes and mouth zipped shut and a two-piece metal sphere covering his head, the coroner told The Morning Journal.

"He had done this by request according to the story we were given,” Miller told The Morning Journal. “There was an assistant, but that is under investigation.”

[...]

Mazzola has been in the news in the past because of his ownership and exhibitions of wild animals, which he kept man on his property southwest of Cleveland.

In August, one of his black bears fatally mauled Brent Kandra , 24, of Elyria, after Kandra opened the bear’s enclosure for a routine feeding.

Kandra's death was ruled a workplace accident. The bear was euthanized.

[MSNBC]

Got Problems? Keep Them to Yourself

Next time you have a tough day at the office (in the unlikely event that you're gainfully employed), pour yourself a stiff drink or ten and keep quiet.

When encountering stressful events in daily life, venting to a friend about them may not always be helpful, a new study concludes.

[...]

"Venting is not an effective strategy for anyone trying to cope with daily stress, ..." said social psychologist Brad J. Bushman, who teaches at Ohio State University and has researched aggression and coping, but was not involved in this study. "Research clearly shows that venting increases rather than decreases stress."

[...]

"It's no use ruminating about small failures and setbacks and [dragging] yourself further down," said study author Dr. Joachim Stoeber, a psychologist at the University of Kent in England.

[...]

The fact that venting is an unsuccessful way to cope with failure may seem counterintuitive to those who have been taught to share their negative feelings to try to "purge" them. But it actually creates more stress "because it keeps arousal levels high, aggressive thoughts active in memory, and angry feelings alive," Bushman said.

"People say that venting feels good, but the good feeling doesn't last, and it only reinforces aggressive impulses," Bushman told MyHealthNewsDaily.

He said that anger often precedes aggression, and venting is behaving aggressively (against people or inanimate objects). The reasons why we vent may simply be tied to evolutionary causes of aggression in humans.

[Yahoo! News]

Grave Mistake

If you're going to take a walk in the dark after your son's funeral, you should put on some lighter colored clothes. Or at the very least, be sensible enough adorn your mourning dress with reflective tape.

A NEW Zealand expat living in WA was killed in an accident in her home country just hours after her son's funeral.

A car hit the 58-year-old, who lived in Perth, as she walked along a highway on the outskirts of Hamilton just after 9pm last night.

She had gone for a walk after the funeral.

It’s believed the fatal smash happened near where the woman was staying and family rushed to her side.

Hamilton police Sen-Sgt Gill Meadows said the accident was a "really sad set of circumstances".

"She was out walking across the road and in dark clothing. She had left the address to go for a walk, for a breather," Sen-Sgt Gill Meadows told the Waikato Times.

[Perth Now]

Unemployed Men: Fat, Lazy, Godless and Selfish

You jobless slobs truly sicken the Captain. And you wonder why no one will hire you?

One of the only upsides of unemployment, you’d think, would be the free time that you’d have to do things that can be tough to squeeze into a normal work day — like going to the gym, or gardening, or just walking around the grocery store.

But at least with men, the extra time doesn’t translate into more activity. A study conducted by researchers at the National Institute on Aging and published online in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine finds that even men employed in sedentary jobs ... get more daily physical activity than men unemployed for reasons other than poor health.

The notion is that the commute plays a role in the amount of physical activity you rack up in a day. Even men who had non-active jobs achieved a certain baseline of activity first thing in the morning that unemployed didn’t reach until noon, study co-author Dane Van Domelen, a post-baccalaureate fellow at the NIA, tells the Health Blog.

[...]

Our colleagues at the WSJ reported last year on Labor Department stats showing that as the unemployment rate rose, the average person aged 15 and up (employed, unemployed and retired) spent 17 fewer minutes at work every day. But that extra time went right to two of America’s greatest pastimes: TV (up 12 minutes) and sleep (up 6 minutes).

There was pretty much no change in the amount of time spent volunteering, participating in religious activities, exercising or participating in educational activities.

[Wall Street Journal]

Great Idea Continues To Advance

On June 29 I wrote about the prospect of banning children from airplanes. Now the idea is picking up steam and this guy is banning them from his restaurant. This is a great idea. Some kids can handle being in a restaurant and some kids can't. MOST of them can't. I know my kids have turned my restaurant experiences into nightmares.
How many times have you been in a restaurant and these damn kids will be carrying on and the parents won't DO anything. One time some kids were carrying on at a table next to me and I looked over and the dad said "what's the matter you don't like kids?" And I said "it's really YOUR kids I don't like." And then we had a fistfight and I got arrested, but that's another story for another time.

Reality is, your kids should eat at home until they are 15 or 16, and then they should go out by themselves. My suggestion here is the same as it was with the airlines. There should be baby-only flights, and there should be baby-only restaurants. Let them all sit there and cry to their hearts content. Maybe they will get the message and SHUT UP. I don't care how cute they are.

At McDain's Restaurant, in Monroeville, Pennsylvania, kids don't eat free. And starting next week, they don't get to eat at all. Mike Vuick, owner of the Pittsburgh area eatery has just announced a ban on children under 6 at his casual dining establishment.

After receiving noise complaints from customers about crying kids at neighboring tables, Vuick decided to institute the policy, which will go into effect July 16.

In an email to customers, Vuick explained: "We feel that McDain's is not a place for young children. Their volume can't be controlled and many, many times, they have disturbed other customers."

[Shine from Yahoo!]

Iraqi Terrorists No Match for American Roller Coasters

Next time you think about helping an amputee board an amusement park ride, think again.

BUFFALO, New York (Reuters) - A disabled war veteran fell to his death from a 208-foot-tall rollercoaster late on Friday afternoon, tragically ending his miraculous return to normal post-war life.

U.S. Army Sergeant James Hackemer, 29, a double amputee, fell from the Ride of Steel rollercoaster at the Darien Lake Theme Park & Resort about 30 miles east of Buffalo around 5:30 p.m. local time on Friday, according to park officials, who said they were deeply saddened by the incident.

According to local authorities and news reports, Hackemer lost his legs and a hip when a roadside bomb exploded when he served in Iraq in 2008. He suffered two strokes, blood loss, and brain damage in the attack and then spent three years in rehabilitation, during which he re-learned how to eat and speak.

[...]

Hackemer's mother, Nancy, told local media after the accident on Friday that her son had been helped on to the ride by other people and was "doing what he wanted to do."

[...]

"The preliminary investigation determined that Mr. Hackemer was ejected from the rollercoaster as it was in operation," according to a statement from the Genesee County Sheriff's office. "As a result of being ejected, Mr. Hackemer received fatal injuries."

[...]

"It's going to help a little bit that he was happy," Hackemer's mother Nancy told local reporters after the accident. "We shouldn't have had him for these last three years and four months."

[Yahoo]

Daily Downers Predicts - Woods To Retire From Golf

I've always hated Tiger Woods but I think it's a downer that he's going to retire. He did bad things, but we all do bad things. It doesn't mean you have to lose your day job. Seems a little unfair. And that's a downer.

On the other hand there is always the great story of a successful man laid low. That is very satisfying to the average person. And this is kind of a downer as well, because as a race, are we saying we can't root for the other guy? We have to be pissed off when someone wins all the time? What kind of people are we anyway? I mean I know what kind of person I am. I am the kind of person that roots for the rich guy to fall apart. But what kind of miserable ass person are YOU? Aside from reading this. Huh?

So it's a double downer. More than a few of those lately.

If Tiger Woods is calling in his media "friends," you know something is up. That's why the news that Tiger will sit down with The Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman on Monday morning at 11 AM ET seems a bit strange. Tiger hasn't played golf since early May at the Players Championship, and announced last week that he wouldn't be attending the British Open this week at Royal St. George's.

What could it be? Well, there are a number of things that Tiger might need to get off his chest. Here are a few of the possibilites.

-- Tiger won't play golf for the rest of 2011. This one seems like the most likely because if Tiger is still hurting, and really wants to get 100 percent, he might need more time away from the game.

-- Tiger needs to have surgery to fix his knee/Achilles.

-- Tiger might comment on his relationship with Anthony Galea, maybe just to clear the air after Galea was indicted last week on counts of transporting illegal drugs across the border for a number of athletes.

-- Tiger might be giving us an idea of when he will return to golf.

Our good friend Ryan Ballengee over at Pro Golf Talk also threw in retirement as a possible topic, but I'm not totally sure Tiger is ready to hang up the Nike cleats just yet.

[yahoo! sports]

Economists Are Always The Last To Know

They keep talking about this like it's going to go away. We're going to recover, like a nation of dried out drunks. The reality is this new economic landscape is a permanent condition. I thought tax cuts were supposed to create jobs. We've had the lowest tax rate in decades over the last ten years, so where are the freakin' jobs?

You don't have to wonder how this happened. In the 70s, your father's recession would hit for awhile and then the jobs would come back and we would break out of it. But as the century came to a close American companies had the vision to outsource jobs. So now we are waiting for jobs to come back but they're gone for good. Whole layers of employment in some industries have disappeared. They might not have been the BEST jobs but they were jobs. Companies are making record profits but unfortunately we are not sending the unemployed into space. They remain here on Earth with us.

My favorite part is where it says the recession officially ended two years ago. If these reports baffle economists maybe we ought to have other people looking these things over. I'm sure the average guy that works in a gas station could tell you we're fucked and he could explain it perfectly, just as I have in these few brief paragraphs.

Economists were also the last to know about the Internet bubble, the housing bubble, and the mortgage backed securities disaster. If the economists were a sports team you'd be calling into talk radio shows and screaming about trading them. As it stands the economists don't really know anything but THEIR jobs don't seem to be in jeopardy, even though they get everything wrong over and over again. Maybe I should have become an economist instead of heading out to sea. The road not taken.

Hiring slowed to a near-standstill last month, raising doubts that the economy will rebound in the second half of the year.

The report baffled economists who had predicted much stronger job creation. And it escalated a debate in Washington over how to spur hiring and energize the economy while also cutting federal spending.

Just 18,000 net jobs were created in June, the fewest in nine months. The unemployment rate rose to 9.2 percent, the highest rate of the year, the Labor Department said Friday.

Stocks plunged after the report was released, although the market recovered some losses in late-afternoon trading. The Dow Jones industrial average closed down 62 points for the day. Broader indexes also fell.

For President Barack Obama, the sputtering job market represents a threat 16 months before his re-election bid.

"Our economy as a whole just isn't producing nearly enough jobs for everybody who is looking," Obama acknowledged in a speech in the White House Rose Garden.

Obama used the dismal job data to press Congress to raise the government's borrowing limit. He also said Congress could strengthen the economy by passing three free-trade accords, approving government projects to create construction jobs and extending a Social Security tax cut.

But Republicans oppose an increase in the $14.3 trillion borrowing limit without steep cuts in spending. And they said the report reinforces their argument that tax increases would stunt job growth and shouldn't be part of any deal.

Friday's report suggested that a slowdown that struck the economy in the spring and curtailed job creation may be more than brief.

"June's employment report doesn't have a single redeeming feature," said Paul Ashworth, an economist at Capital Economics. "It's awful from start to finish."

Two years after the recession officially ended, companies are adding fewer workers despite record cash stockpiles and healthy profit margins.

A result is that more people are giving up looking for work. More than a quarter-million people stopped their job searches in June. That kept the unemployment rate from rising even further. When laid-off workers stop looking for work, they are no longer counted as unemployed.

Including discouraged workers and those working part time, but who would prefer full-time work, the "under-employment" rate jumped from 15.8 percent to 16.2 percent.

[Associated Press]

Eat Your Way to Riches

If you're a fat, lazy, jobless slob, the Captain has good news for you! Bust out your webcam, put on your bikini while you stuff your face and you too can earn what's rightfully yours.

Donna Simpson, a single mom in New Jersey, weighs 700 pounds and is trying to gain an additional 300 pounds so that she can claim and hold the Guinness World Records' title of World's Most Obese Woman. She says that she couldn't do it without the help of her 4-year-old daughter, who shops with her, helps her prepare food, and feeds her so that she can pile on additional pounds.

How does someone who relies on a 4-year-old and a reinforced scooter to get around make a living? Online, of course. Simpson pays for her $580-to-$750 per week eating habit plus other expenses by, basically, being overweight. She has a website, OfficialDonnaSimpson.com, geared toward "fat admirers," where people pay to see her eat and flaunt her flab.

She claims that she has 7,000 paying fans, and makes nearly $100,000 annually from the site... A three-day membership to her site goes for $7.95, and a one-month membership costs $19.95. For that you get to see videos like "Squashing," "Blue Dress" and "Eating a Pie" plus access to more than 270 photos. She believes the record she holds as Heaviest Woman to Give Birth sets her apart from other big women with similar sites.

Apparently, there are a lot of people out there who enjoy watching Simpson eat. She says that they even send her fattening food like protein shake powder to help her beef up quickly. "It makes people happy, and I'm not harming anyone," she says.

[AOL Jobs]

First DSK, Then Casey Anthony, Now This

And you thought your mother-in-law was bad ...

A woman who was arrested for twisting off her daughter-in-law's nipple during a drunken brawl will avoid going to jail.

Amilia Oveide, 46, from New Mexico, was arrested for aggravated battery causing great bodily harm and ordered to pay Marie Cadney's - her son's wife - $10,000 medical bills.

She only avoided jail because Mrs Cadney did not want to press charges.

According to police, Jim and Marie Cadney, 30, and Oveide had been drinking for most of the night on December 12 when an argument between Oveide and her son became 'very intense'.

Mrs Cadney told police that she tried to intervene between the two but then began arguing with her mother-in-law.

It was then that Oveide 'grabbed her right breast and began to squeeze and pull on her nipple'.

Oveide only let go of the nipple when Mrs Cadney began punching her in the face.

[...]

According to the Smoking Gun, Mrs Cadney thought about what to do for two hours and then decided it would be best to go to the hospital, where a doctor performed a reattachment procedure.

It is not believed to have been successful.

[Daily Mail]

Check Cashing -- For Whites Only

We all know that driving while black is a heinous crime that heroic cops across America are working hard to put a stop to.

And now we have a brave bank teller who has finally decided she can no longer abide by the equally horrific affront to society that is "cashing check while black."

Ikenna [Njoku], a 28-year old construction worker, went to deposit a $8,463.21 Chase cashier's check at his local Chase branch, only for the teller to decide that neither he nor his check looked right and he got tossed in jail for forgery, KING5 reports. The next day, a Friday the bank realized its mistake and left a message with the detective. But it was her day off, so he spent the entire weekend in jail.

By the time he got out, he had been fired from his job for not showing up to work. His car had been towed as well. It ended up getting sold off at auction because he couldn't afford to get it out of the pound. He had been relying on that cashier's check for his money but it was taken as evidence and by the time he got it back it was auctioned off.

All this while the cashier's check had been issued by the very bank he was trying to cash it at.

Chase didn't even apologize, not even after a year. A lawyer volunteered to help write a strongly-worded letter requesting damages. After trying hard to get a response, they sent KING 5 a two-sentence reply: "We received the letter and are reviewing the situation. We'll be reaching out to the customer."

[The Consumerist]

A Small Victory for Human Decency

When the Captain is ashore he is frequently appalled by the large number of landlubbers he sees spitting on sidewalks, streets and subway tracks.

What drives these people to engage in such disgusting behavior the Captain will never know, but he is pleased to see one man has paid the ultimate price for his revolting acts.

A young man plunged from an apartment balcony to his death after trying to show how far he could spit over the side, police say.

Zackary John Seiler, 22, had been staying with friends at a South Townsville apartment complex ahead of the Townsville 400 V8 race meet this weekend.

[...]

"He was quite a tall lad ... so obviously his centre of mass is quite high," she told this website. "It wasn't a spitting competition as such but he's decided to show how far he could spit. As he's done that he's been leaning on the rail and he's leaned too far forward."

[...]

Acting Inspector Leonie Henwood said Mr Seiler, who had been on the balcony with a woman, was not mucking around or misbehaving. But she urged people to take care near railings. "It's just hopefully a one-off, a tragic accident; it's very unusual," she said. "It's not like he was doing any high-risk activity."

[Brisbane Times]

Today's Youth: Perhaps Not as Stupid as They Seem

None of these students noted the best thing about booze that we adults know perfectly well -- alcohol numbs the mind and soul to the awful emptiness and pain that is life on this earth, and, with any luck, mercifully hastens life's end.

But even absent that obvious realization, these youngsters still come to the right conclusion: heavy drinking is always the right move.

A new study finds that many college students believe the positive effects of heavy drinking outweigh the negative consequences.

According to study participants, heavy drinking increases courage, eases communication, and has other social benefits that overshadow negative effects of hangovers, fights and regrettable sexual situations.

[...]

The survey assessed how often the participants had experienced 35 different negative consequences of drinking, such as blackouts, fights, hangovers, missed classes and work, and lost or stolen belongings, as well as 14 positive effects of drinking, including better conversational and joke-telling abilities, improved sexual encounters and more energy to stay up late partying and dancing.

[...]

Participants rated the upsides to drinking as more positive and likely to happen in the future, a finding the researchers call “rose-colored beer goggles.”

“It’s as though they think that the good effects of drinking keep getting better and more likely to happen again,” said Diane Logan, lead author and a University of Washington clinical psychology graduate student.

[PsychCentral]

A Head of the Police

This really ought to be a cap-ital offense.

Czech cops who used a suspected murder victim's skull as an ornament are being sued by the dead man's relatives.

[...]

Relative Ruzena Breznanova, 59, said: "When I turned up to collect the remains I saw the skull sitting on a shelf next to a beer mug with a police cap on it.

"It was shocking. The chief of homicide led me into his office, took a cap off this skull and handed it to me saying here's your brother-in-law. I was really appalled."

When the woman's complaint ended up in local newspapers readers pointed out that the snaps had even been posted on a social media site.

Police spokesman Radek Sandorova said: "We are carrying out a full investigation and if it turns out to be true then we will take disciplinary action against the officer concerned.

[Orange News]

You Can Lead A Man To Water, But You Can't Make Him Think

Is this a free country or what? If a guy doesn't want to wear a helmet that's his business right? I suppose the only problem is that if you don't wear a helmet you become an expense that has to be cleaned up by the municipal authorities. On the other hand, if you become an expense laying there dead in the middle of the road you are also creating jobs. I don't think lower taxes create jobs, but corpses do, because they have to be cleared, moved and finally, buried.

Is life really worth living in a society where you can't ride a motorcycle without a helmet? For most of us the answer is emphatically "yes" but then again I don't ride motorcycles. Would you rather live your way for a day on your feet or crawl for a lifetime on your knees? Isn't that what the Romans asked? How did that go?

Sad story but there's a silver lining somewhere, and THAT'S WHAT THIS COUNTRY IS ALL ABOUT. Love it or leave it baby. Happy Fourth of July!

Police say a motorcyclist participating in a protest ride against helmet laws in upstate New York died after he flipped over the bike's handlebars and hit his head on the pavement.

The accident happened Saturday afternoon in the town of Onondaga, in central New York near Syracuse.

State troopers tell The Post-Standard of Syracuse that 55-year-old Philip A. Contos of Parish, N.Y., was driving a 1983 Harley Davidson with a group of bikers who were protesting helmet laws by not wearing helmets.

Troopers say Contos hit his brakes and the motorcycle fishtailed. The bike spun out of control, and Contos toppled over the handlebars. He was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Troopers say Contos would have likely survived if he had been wearing a helmet.

[Associated Press]

Minnesota Closed To Celebrate The Fourth Of July

This so called impasse is over whether rich people should pay more in taxes. So they are closing the whole state of Minnesota on behalf of the rich people. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Four score and seven years ago, our forefathers fought and died for our right to get rich, rock and roll all night and party evah-reee day. That's what it was all about, from Fort Ticonderoga to the Battle of Gettysburg.

No taxation without representation. And slavery had to go too. Moving through 2011 the time has past for backsliding. Our nation's liberty depends on untramelled wealth moving through the Cayman Islands and the tax rates on the rich must be lowered to right the sinking economic ship.

Who cares if a few fucking penguins in Minnesota suffer? There are greater principles at stake. Don't be so naive. Jerks. God Bless America.

Tara and Jose Garcia wanted to spend the holiday weekend camping with their four children.

But a Minnesota government shutdown prevented them from pitching a tent at a state park. So they checked out county campgrounds, only to find those parks overflowing with people.

"It's bulls--t," said Tara Garcia of Inver Grove Heights, Minnesota. "I am just feeling, 'Are you kidding? C'mon!'"

So the Garcias parked their minivan at Ft. Snelling, a state historical site nestled on the edge of the Mississippi River, just outside Minneapolis. That too was closed. They wandered the desolate paths anyway, with nerf guns in hand and a gaggle of kids, all under age 8.

After Democratic Governor Mark Dayton and Republican legislative leaders failed to reach agreement on a $5 billion budget deficit Thursday, state offices, parks, highway rest areas and a state zoo were shuttered. In addition, 22,000 government workers were hit with layoff notices.

When negotiations broke down, the two sides were about $1.4 billion apart with Democrats insisting on a tax increase for the rich and Republicans strongly opposed. The partisan impasse angered many people.

"You have a job to do, figure out how to do your job," said Laura Sandquist, 27, of Bloomington, Minnesota, who was at Ft. Snelling with her husband. The pair were not there to visit, but to unload their bikes and go for a ride along the river.

[Reuters]